sambum

And if they don't, it won't be a $25 fine if they get caught!

"The driver would get 4 points off his licence for DUI if guilty." Wow! That's gotta hurt!

What a surprise - Anutin changing his mind about something! The guy's for turning that's for sure! Unlike this well known UK politician (Mind I didn't have much time for her either!)

"The buffalo is being kept in a crumpled heap for a few days so people can say goodbye." Sounds like it is a bit like the dead parrot in the Monty Python sketch:- "E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!" Brilliant!!!

Speak for yourself , mate!

Sherlock got nothing on you. babe!

"There he bought two tins of baked beans, a loaf of bread and half a roast chicken." Is any of the above really relevant? Does it mean that he was gunned down because he bought too many beans or not enough chicken?

Bit pedantic?

Yes, methinks that a certain high ranking copper/ex Chief of Immigration who "fell from grace" and then miraculously made his way back up again had better watch his back!

It takes 2 to tango!

Couldn't have put it better myself, but maybe:- "Happy New Year, now b*****r off home!"

"Pattaya police and immigration patrolled the city to greet tourists and ensure safety to welcome the coming Christmas and New Year’s Day." Every drinker/driver should have one! (Even with my failing eyesight I can see that the gift is not a brown envelope!)

Smart Smile Serve Safe Secure. Does the above apply to all Immigration Officers/Offices? ???? Certainly not in my "neck of the woods"!

The way things are appearing to go I think they should have INVITED her because of her tattoos! Apparently now in some cases, the members of the "cast" include Elvis Presley! So, the nativity plays weren't banned, just changed out of all recognition by people trying to make them "Winter Plays" (or whatever other name they decide to call them) e.g. :- Schools are being put under pressure to update the story of Christmas and Jesus Christ. An ever-growing multinational and multi-religious nation is creating the demand for religious characters to be removed from the nativity story and new, more recognisable characters, such as spacemen and Elvis Presley, to be thrown into the mix. Let's face it, "Nativity Plays" as they were are now no longer accepted as a part of British culture because of the fear that they might be upsetting a minority of the population. Personally, I am not religious, but the Nativity Play was part of my childhood, and "in my day" from my experience, young children all wanted to be part of the "Cast" e.g. Mary, Joseph, Innkeeper, 3 Wise Men etc. So in the latest scenarios, who is Elvis supposed to represent - Joseph? As stated previously, my ex wife was a teacher, and part of her responsibilities was teaching religion. She taught it as a story, and left it it up to the kids to decide for themselves whether it was true or not. The Nativity Play is a story, and IMHO should be left as it has always been (in my lifetime at least) a story that gives a lot of enjoyment to children and parents alike. What next? Replacing Santa Claus with Boris Johnson - or even Putin or Trump?

"Phuket province has launched its Phuket Crime-Free campaign to stamp out criminal activities and illegal businesses."

"....................the teachers couldn't be bothered and nothing to do with offending Muslims" We'll have to agree to differ on that one! I had a wife (now ex) who was a teacher and her version was a bit different to yours!

"He assumed his passenger was lying down asleep." "He'd done 60kms without realising." I knew that legalising cannabis would have side effects!

Correct - that's why I said "many schools"

"Do they sit down on purpose to find anything that is offensive with anything?" I remember a few years ago in the UK when Nativity plays were banned in many schools in England because they "might offend" Muslims, and I remember thinking "Hang on -whose country is it? And is it not a Christian country?"

They really do have a life - scouring the media trying to find something that offends them. They need an alternative interest - like a Pit Bull, for instance. Now that might REALLY "offend" them!

The world has gone PC crazy = mad! Why take out the word "yellow" and leave the words "black" and "white" in? Surely that is racist in itself?

"London Louf" by his own admission doesn't speak Thai, and I suspect you don't read English! ???? :- "Well, I messed up my flight calculations......" Possibly you made a deliberate typo, ( "You messed up your flight cancellation?????) but if so a smiley emoticon would have made your intention clearer!)

You describe them perfectly - short and to the point!

What kind of a nut would want a KING COBRA as a pet? They're not exactly huggable or show that they're pleased to see you!!! Your last sentence - spot on!

Yes, he's fed with them because they've been "bad doggies"!