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Everything posted by scottiejohn
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The OP has nothing to do with reality!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago. They’re trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears. I don’t get my toilet rolls there anymore. -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
What's four inches long, two inches wide and always disappoints women? An empty toilet roll -
Ditto!
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We should be so lucky!
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I had to use a tablet a short while ago for a specific non AN purpose and on completion thought I would log onto AN and see what posters are complaining about and that I had previously posted about! What a disaster! Without @dblockers the AN site is totally unusable on anything other than a large monitor! I can only assume that the Mods/Owners also use either @dblockers or desktops with very big screen monitors! AN; I understand you must make money but the ads are WAY OTP! If I was involved in advertising I most certainly would not advertise on AN as it is overloaded with so called adverts and unusable IMO!
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UK releases recommendations for fall COVID boosters
scottiejohn replied to TallGuyJohninBKK's topic in COVID-19 Coronavirus
Who cares? COVID is over for the majority of the world's population for now! -
I agree! Yet another annoying and unwanted irritation which even my adblockers cant stop!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Wishful thinking! I went to a psychic the other day and asker her if I was gonna go to jail in the future! She said no! So I robbed her! -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
INCONCLUSIVE STUDY RESULTS ARE IN! A recent scientific study has just published a report that found pregnant women who use vibrators are 90% more likely to have a child who stutters! -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
My girlfriend and I made love for 3 hours last night.We did a role-play of a doctor and a patient.I made her stay in the waiting/bath room for 2 hours 56 minutes and then completed my longest ever sex session! Can I claim a record! -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
I was going to take the dog to an obedience class; But it wouldn’t go. -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
What a beautiful day for dashing out to Trafalgar Square, chucking a bucket of whitewash over the pigeons and saying, ‘There you are, how do you like it?’ PS; No prizes for guessing this UK TV comedian! -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
How many students does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows! — it’s never been done before. -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
A little old lady went to the doctor and said: ‘Can I have some more sleeping pills for my husband please?’ He said: ‘Why?’ She said: ‘He keeps waking up!’ -
Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
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Worst Joke Ever 2024
scottiejohn replied to warfie's topic in Jokes - Puzzles and Riddles - Make My Day!
Bureaucrats are getting too officious these days; There are some very dodgy questions on some of the forms they send out now adays! A recent loan form application said Sex! I put, ‘occasionally’ if I have any money left" PS; I nearly said that is why I need the loan as I am going blind living on my own! -
But only in a circle with the longer leg on the downward side! See; "The Wild Haggis is a small, rough-haired quadruped creature, native to the Scottish Highlands. A notable feature is that the legs on one side of the animal’s body are both significantly longer than those on the other, this being a local long-term evolutionary adaptation to living on the steep sides of Scottish mountains.! three legged haggis - Search (bing.com)