I agree with all of the above but I believe you have omitted a few essential ingredients; Ants crawling over the uncovered food with mosquitos and other flying insects swirling around the car and bike fumed toxic air! Also their must be no access to covered waste bins, running fresh water, refrigeration or even cold boxes.
Forks must have one prong that stabs you in the lips, spoons must be bent to the point of uselessness and plates and cups must be cracked and chipped.
Falling cigarette ash, semi-naked urchins running around and blaring music are optional extras!