scottiejohn

Watt do you get for scoring a bullseye apart from lots of shocking broken glass bits?

Did they use the flint stones to sharpen their teeth or use them to start a fire so they could roast them!

I do hope it is not the return of her/he or whatever!

I agree that you are Utterly deluded. Amusing though... You've certainly chosen the correct echo chamber to post your extreme leftist irrational and unsubstantiated views and BS comments!.

I want wants and do not need needs! If people want to live as cheaply as possible that is their prerogative, assuming they have the choice. I have the choice and intend to live my life enjoyably for as long as I can without counting every Satang!

BS! People use weapons/objects to make the killing of others easier! It then follows that removing weapons makes people killing people more difficult!

The whole world is not a single old guy with a skinflint lifestyle experience!

Doing the wrong things! An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat he found was one directly across from a well-dressed, middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. The war-weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired." The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Not only are you rude, but you are also quite arrogant. Imagine!" The soldier leaned against the swaying wall of the train and again asked if he might please sit down. The lady said, "Not only are you Americans rude and arrogant, you're also very inconsiderate." The soldier didn't say anything else. Instead, he leaned over, picked up the little dog, tossed it out the window of the train, and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, demanding that someone defend her and chastise the soldier. An English gentleman sitting across the aisle spoke up, "You know, sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding your fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. "And now, sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

Scottish blood! An Arab Sheik was admitted to the hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have some of his blood type stored in case the need arose. As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world. Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type. After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a BMW and $100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation. A few months later, the Arab had to undergo a further corrective surgery procedure. Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood. After the second surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be more generous than that. Last time you sent me a BMW and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates?" To this the Arab replied: " Aye laddie, but I noo Hae Scottish blood in ma veins." (Translated; Yes my friend but I now have Scottish blood in me and am now a mean S.O.B. like all Scots!)

Wife comes home one day wearing a brand new diamond bracelet! Husband asked were she got it from. She tells him she won a raffle at work, than ask him to get a hot bath ready for her. Not thinking to much about, the husband gets her bath ready. A week later the wife comes home with a mink coat on. Again the husband asked were she got it from. She again says she won it in a raffle at work. Again asked the husband to get a hot bath ready for her. The husband again gets the bath ready. A week later the wife come home in a brand new car, and yet again claims she won it in a raffle at work. Without hesitation the husband goes and gets his wife a hot bath ready. When she entered the bathroom, she sees the tub only has an inch or two of water in it. The wife asked the husband why it was almost empty, and the husband says "I don't want you to get your raffle ticket wet"!

Did you mean this? Once hailed for decriminalizing drugs, Portugal is now having doubts Portugal's drug decriminalization faces opposition as addiction multiplies - The Washington Post

What flight are you taking back home?

Possibly because it is just all a bloody great hoax!

If you are that food intolerant/fussy why not take your own cr@p onboard? It is not as if it has to be served hot!

I think you find that as it is a "short time" hotel/motel people are expected to lock them selves inside while they do the short time stuff and then leave! There is no need for you to have a key to lock on exit or entry!

Welcome to the Mental Health Helpline. Please listen carefully to the following options: * If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. * If you are co-dependent, please get someone to press 2 for you. * If you have multiple personality disorder, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. * If you have Tourette's Syndrome, please say "Get Stuffed!" after the tone. * If you have schizophrenia, press whichever button the voice in your head tells you to press. * If you have paranoia, we already know who you are and why you are calling and your address. Don't hang up. It is too late. * If you have depression, just hang up now. Nobody was going to help anyway you useless lump!

3 mice debating who is the toughest. First mouse says "I'm the toughest. I eat the cheese straight off the mouse trap". Second mouse says "I'm the toughest I bench press the mouse trap, let it slam down and catch the cheese between my teeth" 3rd mouse takes a long drag of his cig, blows the smoke out, taps the cig like he's the man and says " Stuff you two I'm off to screw that cat".

An elderly man rear ends a young guy driving an expensive sports car. Enraged, the young guy hops out of his car and confronts the old man. “Look what you did to my car” he yells. “you’re gonna give me $10,000 right now or I’m gonna beat you to a pulp!” “Oh my” says the old man, I don't have that kind of money. Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he’ll know what to do. The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as the son answers, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man. So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, your old man here just rear ended my car and I need ten grand right now or I’m gonna beat you AND your old man to a pulp. I’ll be there in 10 minutes, says the voice calmly on the other end. Exactly ten minutes later a jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road. When he’s finished, he walks over to his father and says: “For the LAST TIME dad…. I train SEALS…. NAVY SEALS…. NOT dolphins.”

An 85 year old Scottish couple are killed in a car crash and arrive in heaven! They had been married for 60 years, and kept in good health due to their healthy diet and regular exercise. After going through the Pearly Gates St. Peter took them to their mansion, decked out with a fully stocked kitchen, master bath suite, and their very own jacuzzi. As his wife 'oohed' and 'aahed' at their new possessions, the old man asked Peter how much all of this was going to cost. "It's all free," Peter replied. "We *are* in heaven, after all." Next they surveyed the lush championship golf course behind their home, where they were entitled to play everyday. Of course, all the old man wanted to know, was: "How much are the green fees?" "It's free!" came the reply. Next, they went to the club house, and saw the lavish buffet on offer, with all of the world's different cuisines on offer, every meal cooked to perfection. "How much do we have to pay for two?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand, yet?!" Peter replied, exasperated. "It's all free, you're in heaven!" "Well, where are the low fat and cholesterol tables then? The food won't have too many calories, will it?" the old man asked, looking quite worried. "That's the best part of heaven," Saint Peter said, excitedly. "You can eat as many Fish or Haggis Suppers, deep fried Mars bars and Pizza or whatever you want, and you won't gain a single gram!" With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his tam o' shanter (bonnet) and stomping on it wildly. His wife and Peter tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife. "This is all your fault Agnes!" he screamed! "If it weren't for you and your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

At least you got the point(s) of the advert even if they did end up @-rsing about with you! I take it the ride home was bit painful as well was it?

A Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with on the wall. He asks the bartender, "What sort of animal is that?" The bartender replies, "It's a moose." The Scottish chap shouts back, "Stuff me! If that's an effin moose (a mice in Scottish dialect) How big are the frigginn cats roon (around) here?"

A married couple on holiday in an Arab country. They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Arabian accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop." So the couple walked in and the shopkeeper says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you would be interested in. They have special power. Dey make you wild at sex like a great desert camel." Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the shopkeeper claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex God he was. The husband asked the man, "How could sandals improve my abilities?" The Arab man replied, "Just try dem on, Sahib. The sandals will prove it to you." Well, the husband, after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years: raw sexual power! In a blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Arab man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down the man's pants and his own, and grabbed a firm hold of the Arabs thighs. The shopkeeper then began screaming, "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!"

Well done! Thanks! They problem is you are stating facts and a "fact" to a Mega MAGA brainwashed cult follower is considered a four letter word and will be ignored or declared a hoax!

Bummer of a holiday was it?

Yes! Make sure your account/card is not frozen before you start!