scottiejohn

If only it had city/location names! I doubt if many Thais could locate their Mooban on that map!

Never heard of! Loved by who apart from her family? Who or what was it?

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership! They asked to speak to the salesman they had spoken to the day before. He finally arrived and told the old couple that he had just sold the car they were interested in, to a beautiful young lady for £65,000!" “I thought you said you would hold that car until we raised the £75, 000 asking price and you insisted there could be no discounts on this model,” said the man. “Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and just such a stunning young lady." "How could I resist?” "Oh! just look at her, here she is just coming over for some "after sales service, "wink wink"", look at her. replied the grinning salesman! Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. “There you go,” she said. “I told you I could get this joker to drop the price.” “See you later, grandpa.” Goes to show…. Never mess with the elderly!

Moscow newspapers In Moscow, an old grandmother goes to the newspaper store, buys a newspaper, glances at the front page headlines briefly, and immediately throws it away. The next day, the grandmother goes to the store again, buys a newspaper, looks at it briefly, and immediately throws it away. So it goes day in and day out, one morning the sales clerk asks the grandmother curiously: "Grandmother, why do you always throw away the newspaper immediately?" Whereupon the grandmother answers, "... oh, I just look at the obituaries...". The salesman is astonished, "But the obituaries are not on the front page...". The grandmother replies, "The obituary I'm waiting for will be on the front page!"

The Life of a Bug Spray Salesman A salesman was traveling through the countryside, selling insect repellent. He came to a farmhouse and tried his pitch on the farmer. *"Sir, my bug spray is so good you will never be bitten again, I guarantee it." The farmer was dubious. *"Young man, I'll make you a proposition. I'll tie you to a tree in my cornfield buck naked, covered with that bug spray. If there is not a single bite on you come morning, I'll buy a whole case from you." The salesman was delighted. They went to the field and he stripped. The farmer sprayed him thoroughly with the bug spray and tied him to the tree. Back to the house went the farmer. The next morning, the farmer and his family trooped out to the corn field. Sure enough, the salesman was there, hanging in his bonds, not a single bite on him. Yet he was a total wreck! Pale, ghastly, haggard, and drawn, but not one bite on him. The farmer was perplexed. *"Son," he said, *"Now, you don't have a bite on you but you look like hell! What the devil happened?"* The salesman looked up through bloodshot eyes and croaked, "For crying out loud, Mister, doesn't that calf have a Mother!"

Totally agree! As many non devout Muslims will tell you; "The Koran only says that I cannot pray under the influence of alcohol, it does not ban it. So I don't pray after drinking"! Especially during Ramadan! PS; Don't get the same Muslums on the subject of sex during Ramadan. The Koran only mentions sex with women is banned during that time!! I leave the rest to your imagination!

The wife does! And you should if you want any enjoyment with her!

The other problem is when you do not live above your small business and have to pay two rents!

Come off it! But if true I would have to hand it to you (figuratively speaking that is)!

If you really are running 5 times a day that would NOT cheer me up! I assume you mean 5 times a week!

The majority of Chinese are not allowed to know no different!

That seems to be Trump's, and his followers, motto!

And they made Cock-a-Leekie soup with some of the other bits! PS; For non Scots Cock-a-Leekie soup is a real dish Traditional Scottish Cock-a-Leekie Soup Recipe (thespruceeats.com)

It does not have more pages than any other thread and quantity does not equate to quality!

Where is the beach in Chiang Mai?

And what Trump says!

So it is a pointless thread then!

Since you seem to have done that yourself please save me some time by just answering the two questions I asked earlier! 1. Who or what is a god? 2. What are they/it supposed to do?

I can't be bothered to read nearly 20,000 replies! I don't care if it has been asked before but; 1. Who or what is a god? 2. What are they/it supposed to do? PS; I only ask as the number of replies really grabbed my attention!

That makes sense!

Rung Arroon what?

I assume you mean Trump as that is the topic title? If so I am in total agreement as he seems to have lost his marbles with all his recent ranting and ravings!

I think he was referring to Trump!

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel... and came upon a casket containing a mummy, a rather rare occurrence in Israel, to say the least. After examining it, he called Abe, the curator of the Israel museum in Jerusalem. "I've just discovered what I believe is a nearly 3,000 year old mummy of a Philistine who died of heart failure!" the excited scientist exclaimed. Abe replied, "Bring him in. We'll check it out." So he did so! A week later, the amazed curator Abe called the archaeologist. "You were right about both the mummy's age, nationality and cause of death. How in the world did you work that out by just looking at him?" "Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'."

"A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN"... The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.