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scottiejohn

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Everything posted by scottiejohn

  1. And what has that got do do with you saying "was cruising the world on the last atomic powered aircraft carrier and getting paid for my travels."?
  2. I find it hard to believe that you "was cruising the world on the last atomic powered aircraft carrier" as the latest Nuclear powered carrier (USS Gerald R Ford) has only been as far as Canada, European countries and the MED! WRT the rest of your post it makes even less sense!
  3. So what are your qualifications that make you more qualified than "thousands of medical professionals" to advise us about running? The link you provide is not science but opinion and quotes the owner of a gym who is obviously trying to drum up customers! This is from your link! Fighting Words is a column in which writers rub you the wrong way with their unpopular but well-argued opinions on fitness, health, nutrition,
  4. Plumber Miscommunication! One day, a family started hearing loud talking coming from underneath the ground in their backyard. They figured maybe the plumber who did some work yesterday left a smartphone down there. They sat and listened to the talking, then realized it was mostly about climate change and UFO’s. They called the plumber to ask about the problem. “ Phone? I didn’t leave a phone behind..... Oh, I see the problem. I installed a skeptic tank instead of a septic tank.”
  5. It has been proven that Greta Thunberg is making a real difference to climate change in the UK. Every time she comes on the TV approximately 10 million people switch their TVs off!
  6. These climate change activists need to relax! I don’t have a carbon footprint I Just drive everywhere instead of walking!
  7. A father puts his 3-year old daughter to bed! His daughter wanted to say a prayer before sleeping, so the father listened. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, God bless Grandma, Good bye grandpa” The father asked “why did you say good bye grandpa?” The little girl said “I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing to say.” The next morning, the family received news that the grandfather had indeed died. The father thought that it was just a very lucky coincidence. A few months later, he tucked her daughter into bed, and she said a prayer. “God bless mommy, God bless daddy, goodbye grandma.” And of course, the next day, the grandmother died. The father realized that his daughter could predict the family deaths, and that this was no coincidence. A few weeks later, he tucked his daughter into bed, and her prayer went “God bless mommy, and good bye daddy.” Her father went into shock. He stood up all night waiting for the worse, and then sunrise came. He decided to just stay at work the entire day to be safe. He stayed at his office until midnight came. When it did, nothing happened. He breathed a sigh of relief. When he came home, his wife asked why he was home so late. “I had the worst day of my life.” Said the father. “If you think your day was hard, you won’t believe what happened to me!" "My boss died in the middle of our weekly meeting this afternoon!”
  8. The Woman and the Farmer! A farmer went to a local bar and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman sitting next to him said, 'How about that? I just ordered champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer said. 'This is a special day for me. I am celebrating.'... This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating,' said the woman.' 'What a coincidence!' said the farmer. As they clinked glasses he added: 'What are you celebrating?' 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynaecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 'What a coincidence!' said the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and all last year my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying eggs again.' 'That's great!' said the woman, 'How did your chickens become fertile?' 'I used a different cock,' he replied. The woman smiled, clinked his glass and said 'what a coincidence'!
  9. Peanut in the ear! Sitting at home with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth while watching TV. The man loses concentration for a split second and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in deep. After a few hours of fruitless rooting, the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door, they meet their daughter coming in with her boyfriend. The boyfriend takes control of the situation. He tells them he's studying medicine and not to worry about a thing. He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow. The nut shoots from the ear and out across the room. As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck..... "So....." the wife says, "What do you think he'll become after he finishes school ... a General Practitioner or a Surgeon?" "Well....." says the man, rubbing his nose, “By the smell of his fingers I think he's likely to become a gynaecologist."
  10. How much did it cost the pirate to have his ears pierced? A buck an ear
  11. Where is your source of that disinformation? the UK government has said manufacturers are not prohibited from selling the vaccines in a private market. How high are Covid rates in England and what are the vaccination plans? | Coronavirus | The Guardian Who is eligible for a COVID vaccine? • Residents in care homes for older adults • All adults over 65 • People aged 6 months to 64 years in a clinical risk group (more on that below) • People aged 12 to 64 who live with someone with immunosuppression • Frontline health and social care workers • Carers and staff working in care homes for older adults! Sky News
  12. Being the idiot it is I am not sure that it is capable of walking and talking (or typing!) at the same time!
  13. Maybe they would stop his internet access! What a blessing that would be!
  14. Given the drivel that is spouted I suspect a Bot (or a human with a labotomy)
  15. I hope so but doubt there is any chance of that happening!
  16. That is a bigger lie than even Trump has ever made!
  17. What was the net result? Did they serve singles, doubles and mixed and did you Lob a tip at them as you exited saying you would not return?
  18. I know a little about the Ignore list but I just wonder how the idiot gets the figure of 80%. If people are on an ignore list I assume you do not know they have posted therefore what is the 80% of? I assume it is just another "fact" pluck from thin air just like all it's other posts!
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