The Dark Lord

On 13/04/2017 at 3:32 PM, elgordo38 said:

I have the name and phone number of a good dominatrix if your interested. She is a lusty lady in her approach to her chosen profession. She will definitely leave her mark on you. 

Thanks mate but I think the challenges of explaining that particular deviancy to the current Mrs D Lord outweighs any satisfaction gleaned from indulgence

nice offer though

cheers!

As I tried to post ( but it did not take due to questionable internet speed from 3bb in Patts) until such time as the indig pop learn three basics, we have no chance of improvement. Even Darwins theory of evolution and the survival  of the fittest cannot accommodate the cull that is so obviously required. 

The three basics?

1) Learn to accept responsibility for your actions  ( currently very rare)

2) Develop a culture of respect for the authorities ( ok yes yes yes but it is actually important if they were respect worthy)

3) Realise that being in charge of one of the worlds most efficient and prolific killing machines is not the same as playing computer games irrespective if using two, three, four or eighteen wheels

but we know the chances of even one of those ever happening in our lifetime is a tad unlikely.....

5 hours ago, sambum said:

"when the price of oil goes up- airlines are quick to raise prices but when the price goes down they hardly ever lower prices."

 

To quote a comparison - in the UK, every summer, when they have to start using "new potatoes", the fish and chip shops increase their prices.However, when the new potatoes are replaced by the less expensive "old potatoes" the prices never come down again.

 

However, one has to take into account such things as inflation, increased wage costs, maintenance and if necessary replacement of outdated equipment etc, so it's not as clear cut as it first appears to be. The unfortunate thing is that the price of oil going up is a convenient excuse for EVERYTHING going up in price!

That or Brexit or Trump ( at least amongst the feeble)

8 hours ago, elgordo38 said:

Ah here is the zinger. Lets hold a job fair for seniors. Cancel that one most seniors especially the women are busy looking after their grandchildren while their children slog it out in the numerous dens of iniquity. 

On a roll here ElG my old mucker....

1 hour ago, Dumbastheycome said:

It  can only  be hoped he  has  more cognizance of his  info than dedication  to his ego !

Or more sense than that war criminal bush! 

I think he has had so far shown that he is miles ahead of Bush on that front!

I understood the headline to be a happy note for those who dabble in the illegal stuff. 

As such my impression of the the governing party shot up, albeit temporarily.

Whoops my bad!

That quote from the regulations gave me a flashback to my school days wherein if you were caught being naughty ( you define that yourself in a 1970's public All Boys school) you were given multiples of what were referred to as "units" which in the senior school (14 and above) was 30 lines of:

" There is nothing more disturbing to a well regulated mind than the sight of a senior boy, who should know better, disporting  himself in an improper manner at an improper moment"

it it did not stop us being "naughty" but it made us more careful not to get caught!

what this has to do with a sensible chap trying to avoid breaking the law as well as demonstrating an unusual understanding of how to avoid road slaughter I leave to the intelligentsia of TVF to unravel............

4 minutes ago, elgordo38 said:

Just wondering leaving it to the Mrs. is that a reflection of your past memories? I am just curious nothing else. I was brought up in the "use the belt" generation and when mixed with alcohol could get out of hand at times. Making a comparison I think the belt generation worked far better than the carrot without the stick approach so relevant today. You cannot compare Thai mentality to Western mentality its a none starter. Each of our childhood foundations were different structures. 

Hi El G my old mate, I fully agree with your comments there, I was caned regularly at school, often for no reason (that I was aware of) but what annoys me most is that I have to pay to be caned nowadays.....

Well I for one dearly hope the old guy gets a slap on the wrists and a please try not to do it again handed down to him.

Reason?

I need him to sort out the thieving <deleted> step son and a couple of injections of lead might go a long way in helping the little sh** grow up and face the conseque3nces of his actions instead of going to the police telling them I am bu8llying him, (He is 32, I am 27). BTW plod was not interested but it shows just how cowardly these little F**** are making up stories ( I have neither seen or spoken to him in over a year but he went to the police anyway with a made up story which his mother told plod was complete fabrication. Shame I cannot use the defamation laws here

Well I am pretty certain I am going to see some "interesting" responses here but the current Mrs Dark Lord and I have actually vacated the Castle of Doom (home)  in Khorat and temporarily moved TO PATTAYA FOR SONKGRAND. 

Lets face  it folks, Khorat is not the most exciting city in the world so a venture to the dark side ( not the place but the experience) for a few days over Songgers has got got to be a move for the better.

now let's see your comments and I will promise in any case, to provide you with feedback on our experience this year.

BTW ( and I hope Mrs DL forgives me for this) we are approaching our 60's and consist of a partnership of one farang and one indig.

more to follow........

2 hours ago, realenglish1 said:

I would not even give  someone I was going to marry 1 million He needs to have his HEAD examined 

Probably will be that night.......

5 hours ago, elgordo38 said:

Your new at the game give it some time. Don't bash willy nilly be selective precise and have your facts straight. Then its time for the potato masher. 

Come on ElG, give the newbie a break, he probably thinks this is the land of smiles still.....

Though I must say that the majority of the crap driving I have been exposed to down in Patts was by White men. 

Could be an anomaly in the matrix maybe?

15 hours ago, 4MyEgo said:

I dare say it has to do with the master, we as educated farangs had to be obedient back home and were constantly taught how to sit, roll over, lay down, and listen of course, here it would appear it is the masters that lack what we have been taught, so how would they know to pass on what we know, if they don't know, or try, maybe they do, but give up, because people are unwilling, example: seat belt saga, then why get frustrated, accept it for what it is, or as you say, go back to the cold climate (with respect), not having a go/dig.

 

I have been coming here for 12 year or so years, now living here almost a year and a half, it isn't perfect, but I find myself to be a lot more relaxed, less stressed and more free than I was back home, so you have to weigh the good up with the bad, smile, eat well, smell the fresh air, have those massages (what type), up to you, and stop trying to teach those that are unwilling to learn, otherwise it will leave a bad taste in your mouth.

I hear what you are saying and for sure I am in no way offended however as you have been here a mere 18 months and still have that "aww shucks gee whizz" feel good factor that virtually all of us get right at the start before the layers are peeled off and the ugly truth about a high proportion of these clowns becomes apparent.

wait until your stepson takes your car and then somehow manages to get a loan against it then gets really anti when you give him a world of shit by asking for the car to be returned to you ( conversely you can shrug your shoulders and say well it was only 1 mio Baht but expect it to happen again) 

Or have visitors over who when they leave have somehow accidentally packed some of your wife's designer clothes from Milan or broken the TVF in their room. Been stitched up by honest Plod, been charged three times that which your wife pays to see a government park / rubbish tip, getting the blame and having to cough up compensation to a mindless idiot who runs into your stationary car because you are a foreigner. I could go on but frankly even if I tell you it will be hard to believe until you do believe then it may we'll be too late.

again, I am not having a go just highlighting things that could easily happen to you which takes the shine off the place very quickly.

31 minutes ago, FredNL said:

Better to retire on the Cayman Islands. 

 

No so many idiots and corruption, good food, no monkeys driving..

Residence way easier and cheaper than Thailand and it's not a 3rd world country. 

Only problem is that you have to take cover once a while for an hurricane.

FredNL

could you pm me please with more info on this?

thanks

Garmin I found to be extremely difficult to enter a destination name in. Even getting the address from a Thai, in Thai and entering it in Thai many times could not be found. Using the Garmin I eventually ended up finding the place myself and then updating the location where I was with the data.

google maps all the way for me

garmin was supposed to have lifetime map updates but doenot ( I think that was the vendor as opposed to Garmin in all fairness.

no competition in my book 

in any case the current Mrs Dark Lord who invariably accompanies me offering tips and advice on my driving skills, will override whatever system I am using by telling me to turn left here when I am balls deep in for lanes of stationary trafficker waiting until we have passed the shortcut turnoff that she knows of but chose not to share that info with me then asking why I did not turn off there? but I guess I am not alone there.

no matter what you use, be prepared to execute several u turns some official some with fingers crossed, when being navigated by an indig......

Has anyone here ever tried to tell an indig that they are wrong because I get the feeling from my personal experience that there is a large percentage who are too proud / stupid / arrogant to take advice or guidance from a lowly foreigner. 

After all all the education these clowns get is far superior to the education and degrees you get in the west isn't it so why should they listen to us

then when, as predicted by the "know nothing" farang, the inevitable happens and they are right in the crape, who is the first one to be approached to "lend" ( for lend read give because it will never be paid back) them money so they can pay their way out of whatever hole their arrogance has got them in, 

maybe it is is a bad patch but right now I am seriously considering embracing the colder climes as this place is grating my sensibilities.

then the lies told to try and get away with it, I heard better in primary school than some of the garbage spewed out as an excuse to cover the crass incompetence /arrogance/lack of moral fibre/ missing backbone/ lack of education/ no common sense/ failure to accept responsibility for their actions. And the biggest insult is we are supposed to believe that <deleted>

bah! I am off for a beer!

I had a lovely pair of those weightless sunglasses that the boys used on the apollo landings on the moon. Their current location is under a wad of stinky mud in a rice paddy somwhere .

insurance company did not want to compensate me and tried to put it through their fraud department 

ok so they were about £350 but the insurance company at the time lost both my top end BMW insurance covers plus the house insurance. 

Still got paid paid but it took a big fight.

22 hours ago, Oxx said:

One slight inconvenience will be that the bank probably won't send any debit or credit cards to your Thai address.  You'll need to pick them up in person at a bank branch.

That is not true. The Lloyds creeps will send you replacement credit cards but will charge you DHL (£7.50 last time) but debit cards just go through the post. HSBC send through post as well.

absolutely no problem with having just a Thai address.

Whilst scary as you could be wiped out and severely injured or dead in seconds by the brainless idiots such as this one, it comes as no surprise. 

I am convinced now that the mirrors on cars and vans don't work for thai eyes ( like a cat?)  because coming down the northern side of the Pattaya / Khorat Cao Yai "mountain challenge" yesterday a brainless clown driving ( and I use that expression reservedly) a mini van on a relatively empty road decided he was going to lane change on a corner with me on the inside forcing me ( with fully functioning ABS) to shudder to a halt less than a cm from the ditch in the centre of the road. 

Even though  I had made my presence well known in advance after observing his unusual style, using both my horn and lights (BMW horn is quite loud) old Somchai continued his manoeuvre completely ignoring me. 

My wife who limits her histrionics to very special occasions, told me after she calmed down that she thought she was going to die. 

I simply replied that if Somchai in the van had hit my BM, it would not be her or me whose life expectancy was dramatically reduced, it would be Somchai

it did nothing to help her concern nor to dispel the distict smell of fear that had permeated throughout the car.

on the upside though my repeated but ignored bleats about the boot being the place for luggage and non essential boxes/bags etc may now be recognised as being sage advice as opposed to just my regular bleating.

but yes these clowns really should be taken off the road, their "driving skills" are tantamount to attempted murder or at the very least manslaughter.

oh how I miss civilisation at times!

You know the most annoying thing about this?

i just learned that I belong in the 11% category I.e. Those who pay their fines ( well only if the photo is a good one ) 

i velieve an  attempt to fleece us was made when a previously paid fine was demanded again but with a photocopy of the picture not the colour one.then to cap it all this mornings post brought a speeding fine for a car we do not own, have never driven and we are having fun with Plod trying to explain this.

updates to follow if I retain my liberty...........

Well between the customs and thai post ( who believe a registered delivery package to singapore is perfectly all right taking 18 days and not being signed for < what is your problem Mr Farang>  not once or twice but five times .....)

the joys of being resident here get less less and less every day.

On 08/03/2017 at 3:02 PM, brain150 said:

Let's just wait and see what happens after the 15th of March !!!

16th maybe? (bTW that's my birthday)

Let's be open about this if a thousand Plod surrounding a temple with the alleged perp inside cannot find the perp, what chance of finding the "boy" 

on another but similar note note I was living in Saudi when I was 28 and my mummy did not piss her pants if I didn't call every month or so........

the bloody millenials of today are mollycoddled beyond belief....

1 hour ago, catman20 said:

not passing judgement or being rude do men not see any warning sign of this sort of behavior months or years before it happens ??????????????

Not always. I presume you are a relative youngster or a lucky old guy who has not nursed his wife through the menaupause.

i say no more as I have posted in great detail about my experiences earlier but it can be "sporty" 

1 hour ago, kwak250 said:

It's much easier to find a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow or Liverpool to win a trophy. 

Does a wooden spoon count?