The Dark Lord

10 hours ago, Estrada said:

It is from the German "Ich Bin ein Englander" = "I am an Englander"

Oh I see, something like JFK's famous cock up when he likened himself to a sweet cake when what he meant was he was from Berlin.

 

Englander is a foreign expression mostly used by those whose natural language is closely linked to the Germanic tongue to refer to the English. It is not, to the best of my knowledge a word used by the Indigenous population of England to describe themselves.

18 hours ago, ffaarraanngg said:

Us English have quite a few names for you also.

We English have quite a few ...........

16 hours ago, William C F Pierce said:

You can't blame a low standard of English teaching on Thais, when English newspaper journalists and editors have such a bad standard of English. Sone of the most basic rules of English are continuously ignored. Never ever start a sentence with the four words "because, so and but" and try to avoid using them twice in the same sentence. Always use "a" before a word starting with a consonant and "an" before a word starting with a vowel, except for an hour or an honour. The teaching of English is not at the level it should be in the UK. Bad English teaching bad English teaching Thais I am not surprised.

As well as referring to ; hotels  (an hotel dropping the pronounced h)  facts from history ( an historical fact) the list is much larger.

10 hours ago, bandito said:

 

Indeed, 38.40 as of this moment.

I got 45.02..............

It is heartening to read of a success story such as this one both in terms of the joy to the young lady as well as bringing hope to an ugly old fart like me

 

Maybe one day the mating call so often heard in the past but with increasing scarcity nowadays of "hello Han som man" may once more bring joy to an ageing old git such as I

 

As one of my old naval colleagues once said to me "Ya've gat a puss like a busted Cooch" (Translated into English from Scottish into " your face is similar to a broken settee")

On 01/12/2016 at 10:01 AM, F4UCorsair said:

 

Maybe I didn't dumb It down sufficiently for you, although one would have thought the 'refreshments' would have been a clue??

 

You appear to be the only one who has taken It seriously and come back full of fire.

 

I'll make It easy for you, just In case the 'six pack and pizza' wasn't a blunt enough hint.

 

IT WAS A JOKE!!!

 

Incidentally your analogy/ comparison wasn't a valid one.  Did you mrean a heteroserxual woman (wife) watching two men having sex?

 

Unable to edit typos

I am sorry FUCorsair but your final para is just bad. Bad, bad, bad in addition to being completely unnatural, an abhorration and a crime against nature. 

 

Whilst i I see where you are coming (sic) from with the analogy, .....

 

i feel quite revolted.

We had the enviable experience of some dozy tart in her 4WD "parking" about 200 meters up the slight incline from where I was parked ( outside my house)  and jumping out of her vehicle not engaging park or putting the handbrake on. (Automatic vehicle that allows you to take the ignition key out when it is not in Park mode?)

 

i watched incredulously from our balcony where I was taking a sly smoke, as her 4WD, unaided by human hand, managed to navigate its way down the street missing several cars parked on either side of the side of the road, picking up increasing amounts of speed rapidly converting its potential energy into kinetic energy and then unloading it all on my parked BMW.

 

that was where the fun started;

 

On my way down stairs to attend the incident (back of her 4WD into the front of mine??!!) I took the opportunity of letting my dear wife know what I had just observed. I immediately received a double bollocking as there was no way a Thai would do what I was telling her I saw (one of those days) AND did I not realise she was in the shower and could I not wait until she had finished?

 

Realising the future of that discussion was going nowhere I went out to greet the increasing crowd of "helpful" onlookers and neighbours who were gathering around the incident.

 

It became increasingly obvious, even with my limited capability in the local lingo, that even though I was parked and the sole driver of the BMW (me) was actually upstairs at the time, that the farang had caused this accident and the conversation was already drifting towards how much compensation could be wrung out if him (me)

 

Fortunately for me, and prior to my caring wife honouring us with her attendance and ability to speak in both tongues, one of our neighbours whio is an independant insurance broker and who has a limited grasp of English arrived and proceeded to put the "anti farang" mob right before any further farang credibility damage could be done.

 

Eventually someone managed to get hold of the "dozy tart" who was the architect of this fiasco who turned up bowing and scraping in a highly apologetic but wholly unconvincing manner explaining that it was not really her fault as all she had done wrong was forget to put the car into park. ( no mention of using the handbrake or parking brake as some cultures refer to it as) 

 

As a further gesture of trust and good will our insurance broker neighbour suggested that we get Plod to attend ( which he had already set in motion) as he could foresee my situation going south  if left in a "he said / I said" situation.

 

Plod did eventually arrive however without alighting from his motorcycle he demonstrated the BIB 's legendary capability of being able to solve cases with commesurate ease by declaring the incident as totally the farangs fault. He was then given specific advice by me in English on how his assessment may be flawed by not taking any statements from eye witnesses and as such in his best interests, procreation and travel should be included in his immediate future upon which he acted immediately.

 

In the end getting a replacement car was simply a case of going down to the guilty partys' insurers office, making a shed load of noise and threatening to create a massive loss of face assisted greatly In allowing them to realise that the easiest course of action was to agree to letting this pesky farang hire a car and they would pay. Limits being THB 500 per day but no time limit. The admission of total liability by the aforementioned dozy tart also went a long way in this exercise.

 

All this having been agreed I left the insurance company office pumped up with self gratification that I had finally got some sense and fairness out of my time in the LoS.

 

Too much too soon.

 

Not only were the "repairs" done to my car so shoddy that I had to take it back five times but the insurance company tried initially to short me 50% of what they owed. They then started to refuse to speak to me ( which they originally  did as the girl spoke passable English which she seemed to have now forgotten) talking only to my wife. I do not know what goes on between the ears of some of the indig pop but do they really expect us to believe some of the lies they spout?

 

My wife being one who does not like to make a fuss (outside the house) apparently agreed to this settlement but did not tell me until we got home. Preferring to vent my frustration ( and spleen) on the clowns in this incident,  I went back to the insurance company and kicked up so much of a stink that on reflection I am surprised Plod was not summoned to take me away.

 

The compensation for the replacement car was finally settled in full minus four days ( which I presume went into her pocket as my "receipt" showed the full amount of four weeks) 

 

Bottom line is;

 

If you do not suffer from any medical ailments that can be exacerbated by elevated levels of stress, 

 

If you do not submit to temporary shock at the stupidity of the driver that has just smashed your pride and joy by a level of such "road user incompetence" that you believe they should be in the Guiness book of records.

 

If you have a supporting wife or partner who is not afraid to tell an indigenous citizen in the local lingo that their corrupt and immoral ways will not be accepted by either her or the farang

 

If you have the legendary patience of Job (biblical reference)

 

If you are (tick as appropriate) sufficiently ill advised to suggest that the declaration by the "attending" Plod assessment is crap and that they should "deleted word" off / incredibly brave to tell the attending Plod ....

 

If you have plenty of spare time on your hands

 

If you have sufficient foresight to remember to insist that the replacement car is either signed off on paper by the insurance company OR you get them to pay direct to the hire car people / get the money up front

 

then in my limited experience it is well worth the effort to push for the replacement vehicle insisting it be of a comparable standard of the one that has been violated and that it be sourced from a "reputable" car hire company such as Hertz, Avis etc BUT be prepared to wade through mountains of bull faeces, lies, corruption and levels of crass incompetence and skullduggery that you would be hard pressed to find anywhere else in the world.

 

Post Note. 

 

My BMW is still not right but I have given up . I have one bright and shiny new headlight and one that has a cloud over the lens ( replacements only come in pairs apparently when I want to buy one but for the repairers...) The bonnet still does not align properly  and the inside of my engine bay that was affected by the incident remains in primer grey not quite matching the blue colour of the rest of the car. 

 

Fortunately it it is not likely to be noticed by any of the car salesmen with whom I have had the pleasure of dealing with as it would only be noticed by one who has a professional eye.

 

Argh, life is too short and I am too old for all this sh**!

 

In my experience of life (before marriage) a certain GF turned up for a noteable nosebag with her hum. I ended up with the bill but I got paid back later as we all squeezed into my hotel  bed

 

moral being if they dine off you, you dine off them......

 

thats irrespective of nationality

1 hour ago, DogNo1 said:

Many posters simply double-down on the previously posted condemnation and add their inventiveness to make prescribed punishments more awful. Maybe it exorcises their demons.  It's sort of like everyone casting their stone at the rapist, child-abuser, reckless driver, thief, etc., etc.

Well doggo my old mate, having been an extensive business class traveller exclusively  with Thai for over 15 years up to my retirement, I was bit out of sorts when they refused point blank to provide an extension to my two business class tickets to the UK as they had apparently gone over their deadline. 

 

You can can guess how much business of mine they get now !

 

If other TVF posters have been equally buggered about at their expense by Thai it might act as a stimulus to some TVF posters to vent their spleens at the clowns who run the national airline

 

 I refrained from doing so on this story as even though their customer service assistance (nil) happened two years ago I cannot find the energy or interest to berate them plus undoubtedly one of the aforementioned clowns will undoubtedly tell PC Plod that they ( The Flag Carrier for the Kingdom of Thailand) have been defamed by a dirty foreigner and frankly life is too short to waste on them in my opinion

3 hours ago, Brer Fox said:

Thank you for your detailed analysis. Your wisdom regarding femininity is profound. Perhaps the Dark Lord is going through male menopause himself and thus his negativity emerges. 

Dear Brer Fox (Brother Fox). Sadly you missed my attempt at levity.and chose to treat it as negativity. 

 

I have passed the the male menopause pretty successfully thank you. What is more pertinent is that I did so without ever having to launch into a personal attack on someone when I did not catch the meaning of something they said.

 

perhaps you could clarify for those of us who do not carry hyper inflated opinions on the correctness of our lofty ideals in life what the differences in what a Tom would target compared with a normal heterosexual male?

 

 

38 minutes ago, Brer Fox said:

In my next adult life I would like to come back as a Thai Tom and 40kgs lighter. Many new doors to open and opportunities to explore.

 

Can't see there would be much difference. Presumably Pus*y would be high on the menu so no change there except as a female you would have a bit more of a clue what the f***k makes them dance.

 

then you have all the hassle of the 30 day reporting to Dr Tampax and all the psychosis that that event creates.

 

then later on you have  the menaupause which will really cook your goose

 

and all of that whilst earning less than a man.

 

not for me thanks

Just now, dunroaming said:

 

I can understand how you would want to give Cameron and the gang a kicking by voting leave but that doesn't solve the problem with the political scene one bit.  The politicians we have in the UK will be no improvement on what we have now and it is unlikely that will change anytime soon.

 

I am sure the losers would feel much better if only someone could tell them where we are heading.  At the moment nobody seems to have a clue!

 

Oh and for the record I have a degree from a pretty good university too, not that that makes me anymore qualified than anyone else to give an opinion.  We are all equal in that and more

I fully agree with you I was only making the point about the degree so as to counter any thoughts s about being one of the " illiterati"

 

you are right as well well when you say we could do with some info on what the f is happening. 

I have a sinking feeling that the ones making the most noise may we'll end up getting their own way by default as inaction and an apparent lack of interest in making anything happen seems to adding to the malaise.

5 minutes ago, elliss said:

 

        UK  , will remain in the EU .

        Madam May was and still is  against  Brexit . 

          

Then may God preserve democracy and the will of the people.

 

i am becoming thoroughly ashamed of those clowns who cannot accept that someone has a different opinion to them so they must be wrong. Why?

 

 

i have a degree from a good uni in the UK ( when our unis were good) so I am not one of the so called illiterati who voted for BREXIT but I was so fed up with those idiotic politicians who are elected and paid for by the people to represent the people but who believe they know better than those who they are supposed to represent.

 

thay is why I voted out to get some answerability back into the slime pit of politics.

 

just accept it you bad loosers you lost the popular votet so suck it up.

 

democratic polling is not one where you keep on having a vote until you get the answer you want,  it is accepting that those who had a responsibility to ensure everyone was fully informed of what the vote entailed did their job properly and people placed their vote based on that. 

 

These pathetic tic so called millenniums who have been pampered by never being told they lost at anything ( sports day everyone gets a medal so no one feels left out etc) are experiencing a new feeling. It is called losing or not getting your way.

 

 

On 10/11/2015 at 10:29 AM, wayned said:

Yes they are repairable, I buy my parts from these people in Bangkok and have then sent to me via EMS: https://www.mitsubishi-kyw.co.th/index_en.php?lang=en. If you're anywhere near Buriram there's also an authorized repair center there that repairs or sells parts:

Mr. Bob Manthey

Ruangsangthai Ltd.

114 Moo. 14 Buriram - Phutthaisong Highway 2074

Chum Het, Muang Buriram 31000

Thailand

(66) 044-666-484 mobile 081-069-8324

email: [email protected]

 

Here's a copy of that IPL that Kong Yang sent to me:

WP-255Q3 IPL.pdf

 

If it doesn't cover your pump model contact them and ask them to email you that correct one. If you've never taken one apart before you might want5 to take it to a place that does pump repairs.

Dear wayned

 

could you please repost the PDF file as I am unable to download it. Conversely if you could pm me and attach the file that would be marvellous.

 

thanks

1 hour ago, JustNo said:

Why don't some of you old farts with your knickers in a twist study the Thai language for a few years, at a cost of around 20k baht and you will actually be able to talk to those bar girls in their native language... maybe 

Because sonny, the so called "old farts" have done their bit in life (some of which don't forget, has placed the world in a condition which allows cheeky pups like you to air your irrelevant but noisy views all the same) and have earned the right to kick back and take it easy.

 

Don't forget sunshine these old farts have been subject to some of the most crass cases of lying, cheating, deceit and outright robbery by their own governments and have earned the right to some peace as they live out their autumn years.

 

i am willing to bet that when you enter the exalted club of old farts, and assuming you have a modicum of common sense, you will realise the wisdom of what you have been told.

 

so I request that you ease up on them.

 

niw turning to the matter in hand, I trust those dep thinking policy makers realise that high income does in no way guarantee high levels of behaviour which will then fly in opposition to the good in bad out policy.......

On a rare but pertinent serious note;

 

when i I first looked at the headline I thought of adding in brackets ( or at all?)  as sometimes I get that impression however on reading the responses so far it made me take stock of my relationship. 

 

Yes they do care but sometimes show it in what we might find an unusual way. They care more for us perhaps than they do themselves. Whilst relationships have their ups and downs their sense f caring for us never wanes. I realise that my desire to care for her and inexplicable love for the little hellfire ( at that particular moment) who is berating me soundly for some minor infraction of "the rules" can never be lost.

 

she stood by me through some pretty awesomely good times and some drastically dire times, never once complaining (much) but always supportive.

 

we see too much Thai bashing on TVF which in cases may be warranted but as far as those lucky guys who have found those gems as life partners, nothing can take away that special feeling of being wanted and needed as well as wanting to care for and love.

 

right, now I have said that it's back to the real world........

51 minutes ago, LennyW said:

Good news does not sell newspapers.....or clicks in the case of Thaivisa.

Oh tush and fie.....

 

surely the imminent headline of;

 

"Dark Lord Seen Behaving Well, at Notable Pattaya Hotspot"

 

will garner more clicks than a clickey thing

18 hours ago, harleyclarkey said:

Is it any wonder many Thais have a low opinion of us foreigners?

 

 

Do they really?

 

i am glad you opened the description as a generic set as I was always under the impression that it was just me ( or at least that is the impression the wife gives me as I shoulder the blame for yet another horrendous infraction of her dutifully observed indigenous refusal to accept any responsibility for their own actions) 

Irrespective of if Trump is right or not or if Brexit was right or not why is it that the so called liberal elite cannot accept the democratic process?

 

do they really prefer a military rule or a dictatorship because that is what they seem to be saying.

 

face facts guys you lost and you lost in a democratic manner so suck it up and grow up!

 

4 hours ago, ubonjoe said:

She Who Must Be Obeyed (thank you google)

God I can be thick at times. Sorry mate

Just now, overherebc said:

 

Same for me when SWMBO asked our local office.

SWMBO???

6 hours ago, monkey4u said:

Not the RN

But did have the  pleasure  of a couple of trips on  HMAS Sydney back in the good old days of my early man hood  

It was an eye opener

I was in theMerch and loved every minute. No golden rivet though!

I used to go to Suriya (end of teppasit road) a lot and started to build up a relationship with them but last time I went there the "accountant" behind the till who did not realise that I understood thai started telling the shop assistants to rip me off because I was farang.

Last time I went there.

They are expensive though but I suspect a lot of it is because the import duties are so high. I do not want recommend them for their integrity but the selection is ok. Not as much as you would expect for one of the very few music shops in such a big town


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

Hi , I can only concur with the positive responses that you have received from your question.

 

if you are polite and show a modicum of respect ( not a**e kissing ) you will sail thru

 

as I have said many times and will undoubtedly continue to say it well into the future, the team atDan Kiwan Immifration are a credit to this country and would show many centres if officialdom back in the U.K. How it should be done properly

 

i just hope that this praise being heaped on those poor chaps does not go to their heads...