ChrisP24

Sounds like you could be meeting the same people, but maybe you're just getting there earlier before they've had too many drinks in them. Back to OP, I sometimes think that I need to make more friends, as my close friends these days are also family members, either ones I live with, or extended family who I travel with and visit several times each year, plus we call each other with some frequency. That is enough of a social and support network for me on all the important levels. Outside of that I can count in single digits the people who I've considered to be close friends over the years. But I'm an introvert who really enjoys my solo time, and if not alone I prefer to be one on one with someone, the interaction and conversation is so much more interesting and worthwile that way. I really don't want or need a lot of people close to me, just a select few who I find worthwhile and have some history with, want to help, want to learn from, or find inspiring. It's not that I don't like people - - I do - - I just don't want to have to be around them all the time. Outside of that and at more of an emotional distance, I ran across some reading recently on "utility friends" that I'll share here: In this kind of relationship, the two parties are not in it for the affection of one another, but more so because each party receives a benefit in exchange. It’s not permanent in nature, and whenever the benefit ends, so does the relationship that brought the parties together. Aristotle observed this to be more common in older folks. An example of this would be a business or a work relationship. You may enjoy the time you spend together, but once the situation changes, so does the nature of your connection.

Try C.A.M.P. (Creative And Meeting Place) hangout cafe, it's on the top floor of Maya mall in Nimman. It seems geared to exactly what you are looking for. I went there once before the pandemic and it was not what I expected, but it was new, clean, and comfortable with places to spread out plus nooks and crannies for screen privacy, aircon and many electrical outlets. It was crowded but not noisy. Not many foreigners on that one occasion. Plus being in a mall there is a large food court nearby and numerous places to walk and stretch your legs. Also easy to catch a trike near the mall entrance. I recall that there was an issue getting two devices online with only one login credential - I had a laptop but wanted a wifi connection for my phone also. Probably that could have been sorted out but I was only there for an hour or so to check out the vibe, so didn't bother. As for their menu I have no idea, I had black coffee and it was quite good and strong.

Yep, I buy the big 84-oz tubs of coconut oil and store it in the fridge so that it stays solidified, and use that to refill the smaller jar that we keep out at room temperature. I think that more of it gets used for hair, skin etc than for cooking but it is handy stuff to have around. I even have a dollop of it in my coffee right now as I'm writing this.

Cooking oil lasts for a couple of years if stored properly. Even before the pandemic started I begain storing a few months supply and rotating it out. Hopefully global supply chains will be in better shape two years from now. And there is always locally-produced extra virgin coconut oil.

Yes, move if you can, and kick her out if you can't. Once it's done you'll wonder why you waited so long. The funny thing is that she sounds like she will be a good girlfriend for the right person, but that person is not you now or anytime soon, so the best favor you can do for her and you both is move her along in a way that gives her complete clarity that the relationship is over, and do this over the next day or two (at the most!) The rest of it is just logistics.

I never really planned to have kids, in fact in my 20s and 30s I was very much against having them. No kids with the first wife thankfully. Married my second wife at age 37 and let the chips fall where they may. Had a daughter at age 42 and a son at 44, and they are two of the best things that ever happened to me. My wife and I joke that we don't have expensive German cars, instead we have expensive kids. But the numerous adventures I've had with them (while also getting to re-live some of my own childhood adventures with them) have been priceless. I'm a far better and far happier person by virtue of them being in my life and by my having made it a priority to be in theirs. I do think it was better to be an older parent. More mature, more patient, better established professionally and financially, and a better perspective on what is important. I was in a demanding field and worked a lot of hours so wasn't always able to make it to their school events, but I was there for most of the important ones. More recently I was able to retire while they are both still in high school, so I'm active in their extracurriculars and was even able to help my son with some of his after-school homework as he navigated the adjustent back to in-person learning. In looking back at my own teen years, this is the age where having a present parent was the most important. As I continue to get older, it is a comforting thought to reflect on, that I've actively provided my kids with a better family experience than I had growing up.

If his goal is to acquire US citizenship, what will he want to do with it? Get a U.S. passport and go to the U.S. to possibly work? In any event he'll need a lawyer. Not sure if that ship has sailed since he is already over 18. Here is a link with excerpt as a basic starting point. Acquisition of U.S. Citizenship by a Child Born Abroad (state.gov) A person born abroad out-of-wedlock on or after November 14, 1986 to a U.S. citizen father and an alien mother may acquire U.S. citizenship under 301(g) of the INA, as made applicable by the “new” Section 309(a) of the INA, if: A blood relationship between the person and the father is established by clear and convincing evidence. The father was a U.S. citizen at the time of the person’s birth; The father (unless deceased) has agreed in writing to provide financial support for the person until he or she reaches the age of 18 years; and While the person is under the age of 18 years: the person is legitimated under the law of his/her residence or domicile, or the father acknowledges paternity of the person in writing under oath, or the paternity of the person is established by adjudication of a competent court. If the child was born abroad out-of-wedlock on or after November 14, 1986 to a U.S. citizen father who satisfies the requirements of the “new” INA 309(a) as listed above, the child will acquire U.S. citizenship if the U.S. citizen father was physically present in the United States or one of its outlying possessions for five years prior to the person’s birth, including at least two of which were after turning age 14. Please note: Persons born between November 15, 1968 and November 13, 1971 may derive U.S. citizenship under either the “new” INA 309(a) and 301, as described above, or the “old” INA 309(a) and 301.) As a side note that is a <deleted>ty thing for the bio-dad to do. Sounds like he has a has a good professional position though, so maybe if approached agian with an assurance that the boy's goal is simply to acquire U.S. citizenship and not to seek back child support or anything like that, and that all you're asking for is cooperation for just that purpose, maybe he will reconsider.

Can you move? Even if you do get various court orders in place, it sounds like you and your son will still be living under the threat of drama for all of the years between now and when he reaches the age of majority. But she can't cause (much) drama if she doesn't know where you are, certainly not of the type that involves showing up at your gate with police or witnesses, breaking in, etc. I suggest that you definitely see an attorney who specializes in this area about the possibility of legally terminating her parental rights.

So the topic is what is wrong with filial piety? Well, like any loyalty or obedience that you place with anyone or any group, sometimes that loyalty is misplaced, and the person is taken advantage of, even to the point where they are a victim. So, in my opinion and in my experience, filial piety is largely a good thing, but sometimes gets twisted by bad people so it needs to be tempered by awareness and critical thinking. That is true with family, just as it's true with churches, governments, educational institutions, employers, or any other group that you might affiliate yourself with. Sometimes they are good but fall under the influence of bad people, or sometimes they reveal themselves as just being outright bad for you.

So many of the naysayers are bitter because they pick the wrong relationship/wrong family, so they don' t know the joy of being accepted into a good one and enjoying its support, and especially seeing firsthand how truly wonderful a good, close extended family is in providing a supporting, nurturing environment for raising children. So when someone claims to have found it, they doubt its existence and think you are deluding yourself, maybe just because that is outside of their personal experience, or maybe because their own experience has been so much the opposite. Extended family is one of the strengths of this culture, one that we have lost in the west, replacing family with other institutions. Some better maybe (more individuality and personal freedom), but many not (how we treat the aging or turn away from family members enduring hardship). I think also that many people expatriate late enough in life where they are always going to be visitors, they either already had their families elsewhere, or opted to not have a western family at all, or in some cases their western family opted to disengage from them for one reason or another, so they are doubly doubtful of what you describe.

Tong Kamolchanok | Facebook Also here is a pic as I suspect she may increase privacy settings on her facebook quite soon.

No, hadn't looked at the picture. Whoops, just did, and you're right, that is not a typical Uk girl. From her high school (corroborated by her appearance) that is a rather attractive Bangkok girl.

At least this one can't be blamed on evil farangs. The last thing they want to do here is to ogle wine-sipping, midnight pool-dipping UK ladies.

How long were you together? Four years, married two of those. Western woman. We were both in our late 20s. How did you know it was coming to an end? We went through some financial hardship, but nothing permanent. She moved out. Then I got deployed with the military for a year. She moved back in (while I was gone and I was paying all the bills). She moved back out a couple of weeks before my deployment ended and I was to return home. After I got back there were many calls on the landline from various men she had hooked up with looking for another go (this was before cell phones). Do you still have any contact with your ex partner? Nope. No reason or interest. Did it break your heart to split up ? Nope. Her conduct in blatantly using deception to derive financial support from me made it clear that there was nothing to salvage, so no hesitancy in moving on. Did it hurt you emotional or did you just carry on? A bit, but mostly surprised at myself for not seeing the mistake as it was unfolding. Thankfully no kids, no alimony, the divorce was just simple paperwork without even a court hearing, so I got closure once the phone calls stopped. Enjoyed just dating for the next seven years, had a couple of near misses, but had much higher standards and awareness by then, so didn't settle for anyone who would need sandpapering to shape into a great partner. Was that person your soulmate ? Nope. I thought I could help her grow, had her enrolled in a junior college with goals for the future, thought she'd be grateful for support in improving her future. Ultimately it was a work in progress that never took root. Did you find love again ? Yep. Married 20+ years to an educated, industrious, family-oriented southeast asian lady.

Great pics! The thread should tun into a pajama pic thread, but only legit ones actually taken by the person posting it, with info on the general location and time of day included. Might get people out there into the fresh

For background, what is your country of citizenship? Legal residence? And....where is the private company domiciled and would the gain on the sale of your shares be taxed there?

Maybe they didn't realize that he was a guy.

Yeah, I suppose it all comes down to perspective. Many of the things I spend my time on now for entertainment would be of little interest to my 20-year-old self from years past. My dad lived to be 91, and for the first few years after he retired we kids kept suggesting all of the things that he could be doing to enjoy himself. Then one day he shut us down by saying simply, "sometimes when you reach a point where you can do whatever the hell you want, the thing that appeals most is just staying home." That right there is freedom. As for the original topic, I had drafted a post about spending less here in my late 50s, but then deleted it without posting because I realized that it really wasn't accurate. I spend more on housing, a bit more on travel, more on health insurance, and a lot more on my kids who are in their teens. The one thing that I spend a lot less on though is myself, other than the travel. I don't buy much stuff because I already have enough stuff, and barely replace even the stuff that breaks or wears out. Like OP, many of the things that I enjoy are free or inexpensive, going out for coffee, trying new recipes, and other hobbies. I've reached a point where time is more important than money, and now I'm able to spend my time on the things that interest me most. Once the kids are through university and we downsize the house, my spending will probably be considerably less than what is it now or what I could afford. I've read that is actually an adjustment that older retirees frequently have difficulty with, and that is shifting from a wealth accumulation/preservation mindset to a decumulation/consumption mindset.

Yes, but what would be the point? ????

Anyone with access to the Hubble who has such a dire lack of useful things to do that rank anywhere above seeing my private parts, is not only welcome to the view, but has my express permission to post photos on the internet as a reward for their trouble and probable trauma.

Not sure how divorce works in France, but in the U.S., generally the longer the duration of the marriage, the longer will be the duration of support awarded to the lower-earning spouse, so doing it now reduces his exposure, all the more so while things are amicable. And getting the divorce now will legally formalize OP's custody of his daughters while cementing the French court's jurisdiction over any future custody actions. Also tax filing status (again not sure how this works in France). Letting the marriage stand just leaves too many loose ends and landmines lurking to potentially blow up in the future. Best for OP to get it done and gain a sense of closure to move on.

What is the residency requirement for getting a divorce in France? Undoubtedly you should consult with an attorney before taking any action regardless. I have no idea about divorce law in France, but in many U.S. jurisdictions two things are generally true; first a person can obtain a divorce if one of the parties has resided in that jurisdiction for some period of months. And second, child custody is often impacted (negatively) toward a parent who has been voluntarily absent from the children's lives, more so the longer that parent has been voluntarily absent. A good attorney can advise you on how to plan for a divorce, how to time it, and what steps to take/what facts to document by email, texts, videos etc. to build your case. It will also do you some good to seize the initiative, which it sounds like you have already. Best wishes for you and your daughters.

Be glad that you have your kids with you, that alone is a blessing. They are your family now, she has opted out. It sounds like it might even not be good for them for her to visit one month out of three, and it's not your problem or your obligation to finance her travel - -that is up to her to figure out. Move forward and build a good life for you and your daughters, and don't let her disrupt that. And, look ahead to what you want your life to be once your daughters are in university. You are still young. As for companionship now, if you get yourself stable in France there will likely be some single moms wanting to associate with you, but of course tread very carefully there and probably don't get married.

The rest you can just squander.....

I find the pineapple on a stick sold by some street vendors to be a refreshing little snack.