Yep. Its easy for us to give advice on a forum, but hard to follow it in reality. I just know this, I was incredibly miserable during that time myself, and I have been happy ever since. We all have one life, some people live it in the best way that they can, helping where they can, not doing ill to others, but basically living their own one life. Others dedicate their whole lives to helping others and sacrifice much, if not all, in doing so. I would not criticize the later, but I follow the former. The solution with this lady, if there is one, does not lie with you, your wife, nor indeed Sheryl, who gives good advice and guidance. Once you acknowledge that, and act on it, the path forward may become clearer.