LaosLover

My wife loves whoremongers. She would pay to talk to one. And be called a ham sandwich. But that's a one way affection. Interest from an old, curvy white woman is not exactly their dream social encounter.

Or as was actually said to my face: A ham sandwich to the picnic.

Nah, they're busy Livin' La Vida Loca over here. Respect. I'm an old married type. To an old white woman, no less. If I were them, I'd dodge me too.

My pandemic year was spent on a Blue Ridge mountain top. I saw only 3 faces. And one of them was a dog. Now resettled in Chiang Mai, I feel like I fought my way out of a grave, like in Kill Bill. I do notice I seem to get colds easier over here, so mask-wearing in enclosed spaces is back on for me. Partic in a cab where the driver is always masked as a sign of courtesy. I hope I eventually get some immunity to the local flu flora funk. Thai people do seem to bump me up half a letter grad esteem-wise for wearing a mask more frequently. It's not a covid-political stance for me, but more a when in Rome-thing.

I wandered in here this Feb after a decade plus of just reading the forum. Can't fault a thing about the place (well, the imaginary place). I'm grateful that someone else is moderating and paying for the server so that I can have a few laughs and get some useful info -and maybe even provide some in return. Because karma is a boomerang. When I first got here, I got a ton of likes on my posts and that has fallen off down to nil. You're hot, then you're not. It seems that overall, most posts get less reaction these days. I'm grateful for all the great characters here, and count myself lucky to have met a couple of them. Tho the ones I really want to meet wouldn't touch me with a barge pole.

Pine is a very underrated flavor. We put some crushed pine needles in our cucumber water when we have houseguests.

Was just in Penang, contemplating a relo- there. Much, much more efficient in every sense, English widely spoken, prices about the same. Every cab turns on the meter before you even get in. But no Sanuk-vibe. So it was Chiang Mai in a route. 'Wasn't even close. Def worth a look for you, tho.

Raging against tattoos is like when my gym teacher hated me for having a Beatle's haircut. The world moves on, fashions change. And tattoos have been big since the early 80's, so like rap, they deserve a bit of begrudging respect just for not only enduring, but growing in popularity over nearly half a century.

It's like the song Abba forgot to write. I guess because Abba didn't exist yet. Would have been killer.

North Carolinian. Pretty much every man, woman, and child there. She gave it up for years, but had a long medical convalescence and re-took it up out of boredom. She's shifting to vaping. It's better to wait it out than to nag. She'll def be blowing it out the window. Hope no one grasses on her. CM is the most culturally Thai part of Thailand. It's like Florence or Kyoto. No other place has so much history and art in so small a place. Not that the Nimman area is ever going to be confused with Venice.

Because I love you: 20K baht a month. So 666 baht a night. A hotel room of that quality would be at least triple that and without a kitchen. Have a look at the Nimmana condo in Chiang Mai. This isn't an endorsement, so I hope saying the property name is allowed here. We wanted to be on the other side of Nimman Ave and my wife wanted a balcony to smoke on. Otherwise, we're really happy to have gotten such a great place. Most Nimman listing get rented in a single day -and that's without Chinese competition. Said the agent, we're on the Chinese-owned side of Nimman Ave. The other side is mostly owned by one Thai person.

Included breakfast is a con job like "free" tortilla chips in a Mexico restaurant. Included means included in the inflated price. I can be a circa '99 backpacker for every meal except breakfast. Having it all set up mere steps from the elevator is worth a premium of say, 200 baht to me -if we're at the papaya level of offerings. Sparktrader will be moaning, "an elevator? too posh". If I'm assembling say, a cappaccino and croissant ala carte, I'm getting near that price anyway. A hot soy milk or rice porridge start to the day is for locals, not me. The 120 baht places I've seen are heavy on the horrible sausage options and are always papaya-lite. I am aware that I could buy and gut a papaya on my own. Def a good thread idea: what makes for a good brekkie buffet. I also like to see some sliced, not-that-great-cheese on offer, but that seems to be another Covid-victim. The place I'm in now has a range of probiotic drinks and two kinds of peanut butter (junky and health food store type). And very good coffee. Plus eggs to order. Can't fault that for 200 baht. In the states, that would be triple that amount.

Wow, thanks Henry David Thoreau. Did a quick tour, signed on the spot. In the hot rental rental market of Nimman, you have to. I'm surprised at how well furnished it is. We have rice cooker. Next up: electric wok, blender, toaster. No need for a pod coffee maker like at home with 35 baht lattes downstairs. In Japan, I did well buying at sayonara sales when people moved. Do people do that here? Will def be possession-averse. We're probably only here 2-3 years. We collect Hilltribe textiles, but it's gotta A+++ and under a hundred bucks to rate drape over a chair status.

As a Christmas tree grower back home, prices will be up 50% over last year. Like most Christmas tree growers, I prefer a plastic tree. If I see a tiny tree at the supermarket, I might buy one. Might hit some hotel doing a turkey dinner in the 2K baht range. Internet says I'll be spoiled for choice.

Curtains are very plush -as befits an upper-middle price condo. Deffo on the mat tho. What's a good, cheap/mid-priced store to get all my homewares in one go? I'm in Nimman, Chiang Mai. Power Buy looks like the place for a toaster etc. They had a huge sign in the lobby offering an unspecified reward for turning in Air BnB renters. That's a good thing, right?

Just rented a furnished condo. It has bits and bobs for the kitchen. I have quality sheets, towels, a proper corkscrew, some bed side lamps on my list. What did you forget to buy before moving in somewhere? Condo is a small one bedroom. Has decent shelving. Has as much furniture as I need. In fact: If I want some furniture taken away will the owner do that?

Ghandi said: "All things in moderation -but especially moderation in moderation". 3 beers? Ghandi would approve. I'm at about 4 alcohol units and 3 spliffs a week. Singha soda water and lime? Like, 3 a day. A place that give me a good-sized lime wedge has me coming back. A thin sliver-place has me dubious about a return. At the side soi restaurant near the night market, The Berlin Bar in CM, they give you half a lime and a bucket of ice. It's almost worth taking a Bolt cab over there for. Good Souls vegan restaurant in the Old City is another Lime-arama landmark. I will happily tip 20 baht on a 20 baht soda. I can't wait to acquire the language skills to convey this.

Another vote for the cheese toastie (hold the ham). Was dinner for me twice on this go-round when it was too rainy to go out. The Asia Hotel in Bangkok has a 7/11 on either side of it. So when one place was outa toasties, I only had to walk 20 meters to scratch the itch. Toastie is among my fave brit-words. No love for tamarind jelly globules with a bit of salt and chili? That and dried sour mango are very occasional treats. Dietwise, I lean towards being Lacesit on his splurge day, maybe every other day. Otherwise, I'm peanut butter toast for breakfast (if only it could be a toastie!), a little fruit and a slice of cheese for lunch to help me finish my treadmill session, and sushi or the healthier end of Thai food for dinner.

I have my wife's first initial tattooed above my heart. But it was only the size of a dime, and over time it blurred to the point that it now just looks like a pen leaked in my shirt pocket.

Those sharp mattress corners mean a hard, hard mattress. That, and cut whatever you think the size is of the pool in half, is the sum of my accrued Agoda knowledge. Oh, and when I said my wife was game for it bi-weekly, that's the bi-weekly that means twice a month, not twice a week. But at least they're good'uns.

I get hit on bi-weekly. But that's a to-the-grave deal. Top that.

The rental agent -quite lovely- seemed unable to comprehend that I didn't have a Thai wife. She asked me 4 times for clarification. And old fat wreck like me? She just assumed I suffered from low self esteem.

Old City has less properties to rent and even more demand. Would have been my first choice. Chinatown, likewise. Walking around and checking in on places can def yield results, but the frustration factor is high. Still, a guy at the pot store found a free-standing house with a little yard in Nimman for $600 a month. It def helps that he had a gorgeous, local, pothead GF when looking for a place. I reminded my wife she has to up her game to stay in my game. She says that I should just run off with the 7/11 cashier and be done with it. An agent has one I like with a one year lease. Will prob bite the bullet. It's only $500 a month for a one bedroom, so eatable if it came down to it. Lived in Ubon for 3 months at (I think) The Wrong Way Inn. Great, great town, partic for Muay Thai. Decent little walkable downtown area. You gotta really, really like hot weather.

pretend-boutique hotels tend to be centrally located, tho. Had a great boutique-ish one in Nong Khai. Boutique is often a synonym for new-build too. We want to be within a 5 minute walk from Nimman Ave, in a fairly recent new-build, with a pool -like everyone. A lot of places listed have you out by the highway. That great 90 day bargain era of June-Sept when they finally opened up appears to be over for good. Prob no tourist season as such happening in Ubon, so hard to go wrong, rental-wise. Nimman and Ubon = chalk and cheese.

Yeah, two months ago, prices were def. cheaper than now. There was more uncertainty. 3 other couples at breakfast I met this week are also competing with me for a condo with a pool on a quiet soi in Nimman. Chiang Mai is coming back. If the Chinese could get here, it would be a proper tourist season again. My experience is that a 500 baht room is not the same as 2000 baht room, partic. in the hard mattress department. In my traveling around for the last 3 months in the 1,200-1,800 baht hotel range, prices seem pretty much in the realm of you get what you pay for. Want to see some papaya at the breakfast buffet? That starts at 1,500 baht. Watermelon and dead weight Dragon fruit suits you? Possible for 800 baht. Even the bread for the toast conveyor belt on offer is predictable by the price point. As a bleeding heart liberal, I'd be loathe to bargain at Noi's Cozy Cabins. Saintly Noi was practically eating grass for the last 2 years. Would I try to talk her down a fiver? I wouldn't have the heart. Google for a good article on the Travelfish site about the death of the Thai guesthouse. A lot of them are painting the walls a wacky color and tossing a textile across the bed to inch up a bit as "boutique hotels". Their margins are so tight, they may as well try. Thai people prefer a pretend-boutique hotel to a warhorse like Noi's too. Goofiest boutique hotel experience was in Viang Vieng, Laos: welcoming drink (out of a can), elaborate murals, but no hand rails on the uneven staircase and a single fluorescent overhead bulb to light the room. And yeah, it was full of boutique suckers like myself.