LaosLover

-They provide little to YOU. The community accrues merit via gifts to the temple. When I wanted to visit a remote meditation center outside of Mae Hong Son, the driver was happy to give me a reasonable price. By delivering me and my donation, he too would be accruing merit. He also brought along a box of soap powder. My karma-driven appearance before him was a merit-multiplier, and had the opportunity been let to pass, a merit deficient. I researched Buddhism in Laos for a while and they have the most beautiful, folk art-funky temples in Asia. A lot of them are being redone in a more modern Thai-style via Thai donations. Middle class Thai's accrue merit by giving their poorer brethren a "nicer" temple. Lao people also like a nicer temple. My well-intentioned Westerner idea's about historic preservation and the beauty of the folk art style are not relevant at all to Thai and Lao Buddhists. Nor, respectfully, is your assessment of what the temples do and don't provide. There's one in every town, these poor people are voting with their wallets on their worth, and have done so for centuries.

The thing I don't get is the need to take a picture in front of the same mural or store as everyone else. It's a throw back to my parents standing stiffly in front of Big Ben. And ultra-fluffy pancakes -is there a saturation point? And now places like Panang are deliberately covered with not really-spontaneous Banksy-esque street art, all of which looks the same from town to town. In my town, a restaurant has painted a giant set of angle wings which people might pose between and post pics of it for a little free advertising. But no one's biting. Angle wings-posing are another social media cliche. Some catch on, most do not. The youth are fickle.

And yet, a restauranteur in New York tried to abolish tipping, charge a service fee, and his staff quit en masse. Like rent controlled apartments, tipping greatly benefits some servers at the greater expense of others. In the above example where the waitress only makes $9, notice that she's not demanding change, she's demanding tips. The US tax code is littered with various special interest taxes and relief's that no other country in the world has (like mortgage interest deductions). Some people benefit (homeowners), some don't (renters).Tipping works similarly. In a small percentage of high end restaurants, a waiter can make $1,500+ a night for merely being genial in a lightly skilled job. For someone working in a diner, it's a long slog of a day for $150 doing essentially the same work. This being America, the $150 a day worker isn't outraged, he's hoping to cash on the deal up the road. As the joke goes, every American is a temporarily embarrassed millionaire waiting for his turn. Tipping culture subsidizes the good looking and middle class-polished, at the expense of the less so. The people who need the least help, get the most in tipping culture. But nobody wants to give up their bite at the apple or their chance at it. So tipping will be with us for a very long time to come.

Some forms of begging, like in front of the BTS station, are bad. Some forms, like tip jars at Starbucks are fine. Like when my nephew's want to sell me a $1 candy bar for a fiver to help them with their footie shirts; why am I involved? And it's not like their parents aren't rich. But this bit of faux-work is thought to be character-building and I am expected to faux-support them. I'd rather give money to a blind Issan singer on Soi 11. Great Seinfeld ep where George keeps trying to get noticed and appreciated when putting money in a tip jar and the staff keeps turning their back on him. I have felt that pain.

$16 for a small white wine at NYC ballet, so if you bought her one and you one, that's a thousand baht done and dusted.

Thanks for this. I didn't think I could bear another version of this usually waaay over-sung song, but this was a textbook lesson in blues-pacing and big finish-building. Looked at a couple more of Joe and Beth's, but nothing else came close to this.

I have seen the greatest ballet and modern dancer on earth. I never felt like directly giving any of the $33.

-Good for you. You sound like a great partner.

All in white at my retreat, and 3 days seems to be the standard length of retreat. Men have often been monks. After that, no meditation is going on until maybe moments before death. And that is considered to be a reasonable spiritual life. Monk-dom = merit-palooza. You're more likely to find devoted meditators in California than in Thailand. Thai people are generally curious and praise-filled when I tell them I do 3 meditation sittings a day. As a long term meditator in the Western Vipassana style, it was a little disappointing to see so much emphasis on merit and chanting instead of doing inner work. But it's their thing, they can do what they want to do. I can't tell them.........

That story may be of a certain vintage. I was there 4 years ago. Tips are happily accepted everywhere now. Starbucks has a tip jar. What gets a tipping thread more agitated than the very concept of a tipping jar? All over Australia, veins are popping out of foreheads like garden hoses at the mere mention. In Manhattan, a couple of months ago, I saw a tip jar at a dry cleaner's. It didn't have any money in it.

Sometimes I like to laugh at rightie idiots too. Jorden Keppler does some funny bits in interviewing nutters at Trump rallies. Had a good one today about Jan 6th deniers.

Our politics is too much about Look! A Squirrel-stuff and not enough about fulfilling basic needs. And on this, the right is much worse. If you hear about say, dental insurance for children or fixing the roads, that's generally not coming from a rightward source. Trans-rights is another non-issue like Critical Race Theory to amp up low information voters who could care less about fundamental government services that are lacking and need fixing. If some trans blags some surgery $$$'s, that's a drop in the ocean that is Pentagon spending and entitlements for rich people.

When Thai women get closer to reincarnation, there is a tendency towards renunciation of worldly things (especially sex) and supporting their faith to up their chances of coming back as a man the next time around. I went to a meditation retreat outside of Bangkok. It was 90% older women, 10% westerner. I even talked to a hi-so. Even tho I read here that that was impossible. Does BMW = hi-so? If so, I did it.

My religious baseline: Is this faith-based action any nuttier than the wholly accepted Mormon Church? I come from the Bible Belt. Senior citizens who can't really afford it routinely send heating oil money to some awful minister. But if that's their belief system, I can't really fault it. I gave $20 to a wat near the airport in Luang Prubang. And then 2 days later, I heard about it from my the hotel desk clerk. Western giving is def noticed. I meant to support S-Mike's contention that little gifts in this little gift culture are generally appreciated and not necessarily seen as proof of sucker-dom.

Just not that may radical left dems found outside of Fox News. On the dem side, you have a scant few transgenders and women's studies majors. On the radical right, you have militia with guns. Trans are a non-problem that I'm never going to have to deal with. I'll just be broadly polite and then they will go away. The odds of an old straight male having trans friends is bumping along zero. What's in it for them?

The temple is also the spiritual repository of accrued merit for the community. Whether you buy into their version of Buddhism or not, most Thai people appreciate it if you give something to a temple and add to that pile 'o merit. If I lived in a devout catholic place, I would likewise toss some change into their stained glass fund.

Very true. Thai culture involves small bits of giving every day, to the monks, to stray dogs, to each other. As affluent community members, a bit of tipping and temple donating goes a long way.

I was a hospice volunteer in rural England. I didn't see anyone who didn't want more days added on at the end. It's a nice death, they just keep upping the morphine until you slide on over. It's not that costly, once you're in the hospice system, and it's the least you deserve. Speaking of kids, my wife's adult daughter has a diagnosed mental problem and a strong leaning towards drugs. I helped raise 2 kids in England, and they have no further interest in me. As Clint Eastwood said, If you want a guarentee, buy a toaster. My wife is 11 years younger than me (69), but due to health issues prob won't be around much longer than me -and could go before me. So we're def Ride Or Die till the end.

Had to stop reading this thread and just say that you are my role model. I am slowly trying to get off of thyroid medicine and I hope go down 25% a year over the next 4 years. I'm 69 years old. If I could be where you are in 10 years, I'd count myself lucky. At what age did you decide to make the lifestyle changes to get off of your medications?

OCD is a serious and very treatable mental problem. Don't self-diagnose; if you think you have it, talk to a specialist. Lifestyle change and often medication can help. A lot. If you're using OCD as a funny shorthand for generalized anxiety or garden variety neurosis, that's fine too.

I'm gambling and gonna book next week for Aug 1, anticipating more expensive flights when the announce the change.

Currently re-reading Tai Magic, a book about their yantra-based imagery that pops up in a lot tattoo's. Amazon tells me this book is now fetching $1,260, so let the bidding war begin -or maybe just ask a motorcycle taxi guy what's what about that blurry tiger on his back. Loved Private Dancer and wish that guy's other books were as good. SnakeHead, about Chinese people-trafficking in the USA is a gripper for people who like stuff like Grisham etc. Couldn't put it down. The same author just did another masterpiece about the Sackler family, of world-wide oxycontin epidemic-fame.