thaibeachlovers

5 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Your comment would be funny if it wouldn't be a problem in real life.

 

I remember a girl (in a western country) long ago. She told me her mother had a new boyfriend and they made a lot of noise which the daughter had to listen to. She told me she was really scared at that time and she won't forget that feeling.

 

 

That reminds me of the time I went to stay in an hotel and got woken by a woman screaming. I was seriously concerned that a female was being assaulted. Took me a minute or two to realise she was being assaulted, but not in a bad way. 

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

then something is seriously wrong.

Correct. Something has gone seriously wrong with society.

1 minute ago, OneMoreFarang said:

Is this really an issue in Thailand?

I know with the stupid MeToo in other countries it seems an accusation from a female is almost the same as a guilty verdict in some peoples' mind. But is this also the case in Thailand?

In normal family life it is normal that from time to time father and (step) daughter are alone at home and even in the same room. If the father has to be sure he doesn't even look TV alone with her in the same room if nobody else is in the house then something is seriously wrong.

Wouldn't have been a problem in the 80s in my country.

Wouldn't have been a problem in LOS 10 years ago.

Thailand is changing fast and becoming like the west. Kids all have mephones and connect to the internet. They see what is happening overseas and might try it here.

It might never happen, sure, but then why bother taking out health insurance- might never need that either.

It's recognising that something might happen and taking precautions.

I'd never be in a room watching tv with a Thai as I can't stand Thai tv. If I'm watching tv it's in the bedroom with my own tv, and a girl child should never be in that room alone with the stepfather. That would be asking for it.

10 minutes ago, OneMoreFarang said:

if you have to accept teenagers like they are with maybe a problematic upbringing you can almost bet there will be trouble.

Agree 1 million %. 

I've been there, got the T shirt.

Ruined my relationship and ultimately led to me losing everything and starting over at 35.

11 minutes ago, LukKrueng said:

 

You realize that false recitations can be made even of the guy has never put himself in a closed room alone with the girl, right? In normal family's daily life there can be many scenarios which a lying kid can use to fabricate false excitations. 

Of course I realise that, but we could get run over by a bus if we don't look before crossing the road. We can only do what we can to minimise the chance of catastrophe, but nothing in life is guaranteed.

As long as the man and girl are never in a room with the door closed, the man refuses to be left alone in the house with her, and stays in a room with other people while in the house, the chances of false accusation are reduced significantly.

7 minutes ago, 4MyEgo said:

Personally it all boils down to the woman your seeking to marry, here on TVF you will only get the disaster stories from a lot of old grumpy Humpty dumpy's which may confuse you.

 

Read, and analyse, but you cannot decide based on other xpats experiences, there are a hell of a lot of good Thai women out there and doing a good job raising their kids.

 

Sounds to me as if the kids will be old enough to stand on their own too feet soon.

 

It also depends what you lady wants from you, she might want you to not get involved, or you may not want to take on the "stress" others have suggested.

 

I think you should talk to your partner and discuss at length your role and her role and what is expected, once you have ironed that out, the rest should be straight forward in my opinion.

I understand what you are saying, but when a man marries a woman with her own children it's always a union of all, and not just the man and woman. There will not be a single day when the children do not impact the relationship in some way.

The OP has no obligation to take on another's children, so he has the opportunity to back off now, and from my experience, I advise him to do so. I made a huge mistake and my mission in life is to warn other men. NB I am WARNING, but they can make up their own mind.

I once got involved with a woman that had adult children, but when I found out that one of them was a gang banger I was out of there.

15 hours ago, smotherb said:

Yes, there are some good ones around. The childish drudge I divorced was a teenager, but so was I. You seem to have found the key most Western men never see. What most farang men don't seem to follow is the baggage associated with the women who frequent where they meet their sweet things. Most every one of the Westerners would not dream of doing anything, but have sex, with a sex worker in their own countries; yet they come over here and fall in love with the girl they just paid. Oh yes, they rationalize it as different; the culture, the circumstances, the lack of opportunities. However, most Western men in Thailand seem to have had problems finding good relationships with women back home; at least women with whom they would be proud to be seen.  They find themselves here, where young sweet things unencumbered by cellulite, age and bulk are commonplace--they can now have a flashy young model instead of that drab old one. Little head takes over, finances fly, and sorrow sets in.

Most every one of the Westerners would not dream of doing anything, but have sex, with a sex worker in their own countries; yet they come over here and fall in love with the girl they just paid.

Hmmmm.

I knew a FEW ladies in the business back home that I'd like to have fallen in love with. Genuinely lovely women, and ( some of them ) married. 

Given that the paid employee ( the sex worker that marries a farang for money, not love ) often comes to think that she's an equal with ( or better than ) the farang, it's not surprising that it goes pear shaped. I guess that that can be put down to familiarity breeding contempt.

I also think that sometimes the woman is playing the long con, or they married for the wrong reasons, thinking that because he gave them lotsacash he must be a great person, when he was anything but compatible. In either case, by the time the farang realises it's not working, it's too late for him to get out without losing a lot. 

8 hours ago, swissie said:

As the OP, I think a little "follow-up" is in order.

After I managed to eliminate her "sulking", we had some good years together. Then came menopause.
It started with sceaming tantrums at me and culminated with her attacking me physically. I coulden't follow the advice: "Do as Thai men do, hit her across the face, that will straighten her out". I could never bring myself to hit her back.
Psychiatric examinations came up with "bi-polar personality syndrome".
There came the day, when I had a hard time to explain to my friends my black eye. It was then, when I decided "enough is enough". 6 months later we were divorced after 13 years of marriage. Nightmare over and never again.
One might say "why not pull the plug earlier"? Not that easy to do as there were always lenghty "fairweather" periods in between. Her being a polite, friendly and nice Thai lady. Until her demons came to visit her once more....
Nevermind. Contrary to my initial fears, life as a 66 year old single is not that bad. It does have it's advantages.
I am not planning to re-marry. Actually I can't. Because every time I think of marriage, my hand starts to shake uncontrollably, making it impossible to sighn any official papers that are in connection with marriage.
I guess somebody is watching over me, having my best interests at heart.
Cheers.

I could almost have written the same about my marriage except it was shorter and she never hit me.

At the end I did fear for my life though.

I'm certain mine was bi polar, but she'd never have submitted to a psychiatric examination.

Not that easy to do as there were always lenghty "fairweather" periods in between. Her being a polite, friendly and nice Thai lady. Until her demons came to visit her once more....

been there, got the T shirt.

When mine was nice she was wonderful, but in the end it was full on hate, and that was the end.

I guess somebody is watching over me, having my best interests at heart.

Sure about that? If "somebody" was watching over us, best interests at heart we'd still be married to the "nice" version. I can remember the first day of our co habitation like it was yesterday. Happiest day of my life.

I'd certainly prefer that option, as when it was good, it was brilliant.

I think "somebody" is having a nasty joke at my expense.

8 hours ago, Rc2702 said:

I've never heard anyone yearn for tinned spaghetti. Like spaghetti bolognese in a tin? Please elaborate on this gourmet tinned spaghetti.

 

I don't think sizzler is expensive it's a good deal. Had two mains 2 refills and a load of salad which includes spaghetti (not tinned) for 900 baht today. Once a month luxury that completely puts me off mcdonalds and all the fast food. Price is very similar to fast food and yet it's more than decent. I have turned my back on Chesters though. Bit rank lately.

Obviously haven't tasted decent tinned spaghetti. I love it on toast with a poached egg. Yummy.

900 baht for one meal 55555555555555555555

That's almost my monthly food bill. That's not because I can't afford to pay more- it's because I don't need to eat that much, not looking like Mr Creosote.

I have nothing against the expensive places- I've eaten in enough myself and I liked Sizzler ( but IMO it's just not value for what they charge now ) to eat at- the eat all you like salad bar is a good idea. It's just that I can make my own salad for a fraction of what they charge now. Better things to spend money on.

3 minutes ago, transam said:

I did much the same but no uni, the lad now has a job for life and he knows he only has that because of me. In fact he treats me as his dad and we get on great.

Mrs.Trans sister has no farang husband, a Thai, they have three children, all been to uni and have degree's..One sells second hand clothes in a market, one lays on the sofa all day being fed grapes and the third is a salesman..

My ex's 2 nephews were brought up by their widowed granny. One turned out to be a pleasant person, and the other a little <deleted>.

Far as I know both from same parents.

As it turned out, I had more dealings with the <deleted> than the nice one. I guess my marriage was cursed in more ways than one.

7 hours ago, Goodwill Jones said:

Her son will live on campus while going to school 15 months. We have met. He is very likable seems smart. Her daughter I have not yet met.  She lives with Dad. I have seen many photos of her.When I ask about all of us living together she will say, we will talk about it?

If you do go ahead with this, just enjoy every day they ain't living with you.

I have no idea why you would want her to come and live with you if she's not already living with her mother.

It's not going to make YOUR life better.

58 minutes ago, ThaiWai said:

My wife's boys are a pain in the ass. On special occasions I treat them to some farang delicacies to keep them on track. Either a knuckle sandwich or a freshly opened hot can of whoop-ass seems to refocus them. 

Problem with that is eventually they grow up and you will have to watch your back.

53 minutes ago, ThaiWai said:

The no parents thing is great if you can find one like I did but with kids they either have them or want one and personally I'm not making anymore of my own so took the lesser of two options. 

For an older farang, a vasectomy is a good plan if wanting to marry a fertile Thai woman with children. A child by the farang is a guaranteed ATM card for life ( of the farang ).

1 hour ago, loong said:

Having had 2 relationships crash and burn primarily due to narcissistic sons, I would never enter into a relationship with a Thai woman who has a son.

 

That can apply to a Thai woman with nephews as well.

19 hours ago, NancyL said:

I'm not really certain of the definition of the term "shanky".   The Urban dictionary defines it as an adjective for someone who steals or plagiarizes the work of others.  I think, however, that j8k was intending to imply that the hostel dorm rooms in Chiang Mai are unclean and unsavory.  More like "skanky".

 

There have been many new hostels opening in CM in the past several years and I've seen the inside of some when making reservations for others.  I've got to say, I've been impressed with the clever design of the dorm rooms, with wifi, and every bed has a reading light, electric socket, shelf for glasses and electronic devices, nice large storage lockers and there are good, clean toilet/bathing facilities.  24/7 availability of hot water for tea, coffee, noodles and usually some sort of breakfast spread available, plus tour booking services.  All for usually about 200 baht/night.  Way better than the older guesthouses in the Old City, where yes you get a "private" room, but at a higher price and with questionable cleanliness and amenities or security for your belongings.  

 

Would I stay in one of the new hostels -- well no, but I'm not traveling on a budget of 200 baht/night for accommodation, either.  But, it's nice to see such good options exist.

Perhaps he meant "shonky".

3 hours ago, NancyL said:

I'm not really certain of the definition of the term "shanky".   The Urban dictionary defines it as an adjective for someone who steals or plagiarizes the work of others.  I think, however, that j8k was intending to imply that the hostel dorm rooms in Chiang Mai are unclean and unsavory.  More like "skanky".

 

There have been many new hostels opening in CM in the past several years and I've seen the inside of some when making reservations for others.  I've got to say, I've been impressed with the clever design of the dorm rooms, with wifi, and every bed has a reading light, electric socket, shelf for glasses and electronic devices, nice large storage lockers and there are good, clean toilet/bathing facilities.  24/7 availability of hot water for tea, coffee, noodles and usually some sort of breakfast spread available, plus tour booking services.  All for usually about 200 baht/night.  Way better than the older guesthouses in the Old City, where yes you get a "private" room, but at a higher price and with questionable cleanliness and amenities or security for your belongings.  

 

Would I stay in one of the new hostels -- well no, but I'm not traveling on a budget of 200 baht/night for accommodation, either.  But, it's nice to see such good options exist.

I'd happily pay a few hundred baht more ( and I've paid more than that in Europe ) to stay in a room by myself, regardless of age of accomodation. Even the cheapest places have ensuite now.

Last time I stayed in a dorm, I had to get aggro to stop a woman blabbing on interminably to her boyfriend ( in the male only room ) while I was trying to sleep.

No savings is worth putting up with 7 other people in the same room, and I've never slept in a dorm without squeaky bunks.

17 hours ago, CG1 Blue said:

Ang Thong is a popular choice:

 

"Ang Thong National Marine Park is a pristine archipelago of 42 islands in the Gulf of Thailand. It features towering limestone mountains, thick jungle, white-sand beaches, waterfalls and hidden coves and lakes to explore. Within sight of Koh Samui, Ang Thong park is a protected area of more than 100 square kilometres of land and sea."

 

I haven't been there yet myself, but I'm sure others on here can opine. 
 

The only place to stay in Ang Thong is in park accommodation and need to book far ahead. Probably can stay in a tent though.

Some spectacular islands, and the one with the HQ has a high hill with spectacular views.

Photos of every park in LOS will be on google images.

I quite liked the park accommodation at Doi Inthanon.

If you want caves and forest, stay at Chang Dao. Lots of forest and bird life. Plenty of nice temples. Need your own car to get there. 

Cave Lodge is spectacular, and the birds returning at dusk not to be missed.

All the info you want is on internet.

Why Songkran? Many spend Songkran hiding in their rooms ( that'll be me ) or outside Thailand.

You'll get wet wherever you go.

9 hours ago, catman20 said:

if you really want to enjoy dont have your honeymoon in Thailand, push the boat out for hopefully for a once in a life time thing, go to the Maldives its only a 4 hour flight from here it can be very expensive but if you pick and choose according to your budget you wont go wrong and your new wife WILL LOVE IT. let us know what you decide to do

So negative.

Railay beach can't be beat. Those sunsets are to die for and dining by the sand soooooo romantic.

Those cliffs are awesome.

6 hours ago, Bullie said:

Why don't people take better care? To not carry your passport, cards and money on your body is asking for any opportunistic SOB to have you part with it. And to put two people's belongings in one bag - I shudder at the thought that people like this will one day procreate.

It's like this woman who went paddling the full length of the Amazon all by her lonesome and subsequently was mildly surprised when she was murdered by illegal gold prospectors.

I wish them a speedy and happy return to Austria, at least in Vienna one would not get robbed in broad daylight. Ohh, wait a minute...

A while back I suggested a money belt, and I was scorned for it. Just not cool, apparently.

3 hours ago, Dave67 said:

To clarify the big temples and tourist attractions are safe. Like anywhere in the world go off the beaten track and anything can happen

Posts like yours put me in mind of when I was visiting the pyramids outside Cairo.

I was looking at the Sphinx ( after closing time ) on my own at dusk and 2 men came up and offered to take me by a secret way to get closer to the Sphinx. Needless to say I did not take them up on their offer, as I'm still here to write about it.

7 hours ago, leeneeds said:

One gathers that the tourist had No idea of their personal  security,

opportunistic theft, was decided on that spur of the moment, 

happens the world over, one would do better to research a country you are going to visit, the information is out there, 

A lesson learnt by these young (smart) travellers, 

I take it you were being sarcastic about them being "smart".

Smart travellers keep their valuables strapped to their bodies in tourist areas which is the obvious place for opportunistic theft. Perhaps being smart is too uncool to be nowadays when it's all about the image.

There have been stories of people losing bags with all their money, passports etc etc for decades, and yet young people that have more access to information than ever before in the history of humans took no notice.

33 minutes ago, malibukid said:

neuter and vaccinate.  this may cost more but it is more humane.

A neutered and vaccinated soi dog is still going to try and bite me when I'm out on my bike and it's still going to get a plastic pipe across its nose if it gets close enough to bite me.

However, not one dog ever kept coming once it saw my pipe. They always ran away.

1 hour ago, Rc2702 said:

Tinned spaghetti? That's for kids lol

 

Not eating today visiting sizzler shortly for a bite to eat. Cannot wait!

 

 

Maybe you come from a country where they make rubbish tinned spaghetti. Where I come from they sell as much of that ( to adults ) as they do baked beans, which they do sell in LOS.

I used to eat at Sizzler, but they put the price up too much for what they sell. If I want to waste money on food I'll eat at The Dukes.

26 minutes ago, Lacessit said:

Any man who hits a woman is a moral coward.

Women count on men not hitting them to abuse them with impunity. If my wife had thought for a minute that I'd respond with a slap to her abuse she'd have kept her mouth shut most of the time.

It's pretty bad when a guy has to leave the house for an hour to cool down because if he stayed he'd be getting into serious...........................