Gazza

Someone else used to have that avatar. I like it. Its good to see avatrs like that sometimes. Even although its kinda against the rules.    

What's wrong with seeing someone enjoying sitting on a rocking horse?

To the OP, glad to see everything turned out ok.

Next time you get caught kissing someone use the old 'But Honey, I was whispering in her mouth' excuse.

please url for BKKChat

Careful..............................Gazza's waiting for you.

AKA 'Thai-GerSugarBuns69'

If you don't wanna meet a bargirl stay out of the bars, if you want to meet a girl that likes going to libraries go to a library, if you wanna meet a girl that is studying Karate, join a Karate club.

It aint exactly rocket science. 

And if you want a female Rocket Scientist don't look on here.

Chachangsao province I've only ridden through. Prachinburi town should be ok for a visitor to see what a typical market is like. Don't forget Khao Yai NP, but go on a weekday when it's very quiet. Maybe getting there via Wang Muang WF and little paved backroads cutting through some villages.

Where children are available.

How much they charge.

and even a few pictures.

Comments please.

Also one guy was giving tips on how not to get caught. Where are the mods/admin?

I personally would like to read just the story and have it closed for comments.

I'd be interested in knowing more off beaten track destinations myself Donna. If you know of any yourself then let me know.

There's a nice temple covered in bottles in Narathiwat appropiately named 'Wat Khuat'. There is another temple named 'Wat Lan Kuat' (temple of a million bottles) in Khun Han district of Si Saket. I never managed to find that one though.

There's the communist tunnels not too far away from the Sadao border crossing. These are much better than the ones near Betong (Yala) in my opinion.

Plus the following as posted in another topic:

One of my favourite places in 'Kan' is riding to Pilok on the Burmese border.

When you reach Thong Pha Phum there'll be a turning for Sangkhlaburi and 3PP.

Carry on through Thong Pha Phum and travel past Khao Laem Dam. Staying on that road will take you through some nice scenery. Limestone karsts on one side and Khao Laem reservoir on the right.

Continue passed the resrvoir and the main road and you'll eventually come to a t-junction. There'll be signposts so turn left for Pilok.

You'll then start ascending a mountain on a narrow paved road with spectacular jungle views, especially when you reach top. From there you'll get a nice view of Khao Laem lake depending on weather conditions.

Carry on for about another 15 kms and you'll arrive at Pilok. Carry on through for a few more kms and you'll arrive at a rustic little village named Ban I-Thong. Stay on the road until you reach a checkpoint. You'll be asked for ID that you leave with the guard and then continue on for about 500m.

Park your car at the base of a small hill on top of which the Thai and Burmese flags fly side by side. You are actually in no-mans land. From top of the hill you can see over the village on one side and the Burmese forests on the other. It's said that on a good day you can see the Andaman Sea.

This area is where the Burmese oil enters Thailand and then gets pumped down to Ratchaburi. There was a lot of protesting about it some years ago because the Thai government kept quiet about it. You can also see the pumping stations on both sides of the border.

In a nearby neighbouring village lives an old French woman who's husband died in the wolfram mines and is supposed to be very knowledgable about the area.

The only place I've seen for staying at in this area is Thong Pha Phum NP where they have tree houses.

Another favourite area of mine is Sisawat. Continue on the main road passed the turning for Erawan WFalls and travel alongside Si Nakharin reservoir. Some nice scenery at any time of the year. From Sisawat you can continue along the main road until it becomes a dirt road and starts climbing up a mountain. From the top of here you get a lovely view overlooking the reservoir. One of my favourite views. Continue on down and travel through some Karenni villages and arrive in the Nong Prue area.

The narrow dirt road lasts for 31kms and could be done in a saloon car but you need to be a little adventurous to tackle it.

1990. So been here 15 years.

And the next question that Thais would ask is....'and can you speak Thai?'

Best place to celebrate Songy now is indoors. Just peep out from the window and when I spot someone enjoying themselves I shout "Hey, p!ss off!! Go and play around your own house you little gits!" usually followed by "Hey! I heard that! you little bastard. I'm telling your mum and dad off you. Aye, I know where you live as well you <deleted>' little tw@ts. Go on! Fukc Off and leave me alone!!!".

I just don't get a moments peace to count all my money these days. Bah!!

I got more than one girl so how can I vote properly?

Wait for the poll "Which university(s) does your Thai GF(s) attend?".

(About 90mph uphill!)

Would that be Swan Hill or Biddy Hill?

Personally cannot see the need for shaving cream or oils, for the last thirty years I have only used ordinary washing soap.

Same here. Never used a foam or gel in my life. I just use good old soap. I'm bloody glad that I do when I see the prices of some foams.

Soak bristles with water. Rub bristles with soap. Rub soap into a lather. Scrape with cheapo Gillette twin blade going with the grain. Then scrape against the grain for smooth finish. Then when finished shaving the wife, sniff razor.

Use same razor until it no longer cuts through the bristles but starts digging into them and plucks them out.

One of my favourite places in 'Kan' is riding to Pilok on the Burmese border.

When you reach Thong Pha Phum there'll be a turning for Sangkhlaburi and 3PP.

Carry on through Thong Pha Phum and travel past Khao Laem Dam. Staying on that road will take you through some nice scenery. Limestone karsts on one side and Khao Laem reservoir on the right.

Continue passed the resrvoir and the main road and you'll eventually come to a t-junction. There'll be signposts so turn left for Pilok.

You'll then start ascending a mountain on a narrow paved road with spectacular jungle views, especially when you reach top. From there you'll get a nice view of Khao Laem lake depending on weather conditions.

Carry on for about another 15 kms and you'll arrive at Pilok. Carry on through for a few more kms and you'll arrive at a rustic little village named Ban I-Thong. Stay on the road until you reach a checkpoint. You'll be asked for ID that you leave with the guard and then continue on for about 500m.

Park your car at the base of a small hill on top of which the Thai and Burmese flags fly side by side. You are actually in no-mans land. From top of the hill you can see over the village on one side and the Burmese forests on the other. It's said that on a good day you can see the Andaman Sea.

This area is where the Burmese oil enters Thailand and then gets pumped down to Ratchaburi. There was a lot of protesting about it some years ago because the Thai government kept quiet about it. You can also see the pumping stations on both sides of the border.

In a neighbouring village lives an old French woman who's husband died in the wolfram mines and is supposed to be very knowledgable about the area.

The only place I've seen for staying at in this area is Thong Pha Phum NP where they have tree houses.

Another favourite area of mine is Sisawat. Continue on the main road passed the turning for Erawan WFalls and travel alongside Si Nakharin reservoir. Some nice scenery at any time of the year. From Sisawat you can continue along the main road until it becomes a dirt road and starts climbing up a mountain. From the top of here you get a lovely view overlooking the reservoir. One of my favourite views. Continue on down and travel through some Karenni villages and arrive in the Nong Prue area.

The narrow dirt road lasts for 31kms and could be done in a saloon car but you need to be a little adventurous to tackle it.

Cops pulling you over and asking YOU what the regulations are? Pretty interesting...I know many cops in the States don't know all the regulations but the ones you're describing should be second nature for these guys. Perhaps they need to go back to the police academy!

This was back in the late 70's - early 80's and 3-wheelers were a real rarity. Plenty of Robin Reliant's though which were 3-wheeled cars.

Usually I only got stopped when my helmet was off. Cops must've thought I was flouting the law but most always seemed more interested in the bike than the actual laws.

In the UK a number of policemen told me that I needed to wear a crash helmet on a 3 wheeler. No idea of the law (helmets depend the seat and seatbelt regulations).

I know what you mean. Even MC cops used to pull me over and ask me if I should be wearing a helmet or not.

I just showed them an official letter from the MoT.

Whay up man, diz no need like for me to tell youze where I'm from like, me old china cock sparra plate mates. North of t'Watford Gap and from the land of stolen car stezzies an' hubcaps............Wales.

Just over d'water from ya, 'der ar' kid...

'Dey do 'do don't 'dey 'do...

Actually I'm from the One-Eyed City myself too. If I tell people I'm from Birkenhead they give me a blank stare. Easier just to tell them I'm from Liverpool.

Everyone's heard of Liverpool.

Yeah, dey do do dat doe don't dey ay, like.

If a katoey jumps on my back, do I leave him on or pull him off?

Good one Mac, I had to read that a couple of times before I understood it.

Two guys walk onto a bar. You'd think the first guy should of noticed.

I'll get my coat.

And I'll hail you a cab.

Q: How do you find a farang in a room full of Thais?

A:

Your friend has to come up with the answer, after all, he's the comedian.

A:

He'll be the one smiling like a <deleted>' idiot trying not to stand out and because he won't have a clue what's being said.

In fact...it'd probably be me.

Thanks all.

I think very few would work for a Thai comedian with poor English and pronunciation, but never mind, keep em coming.

Can anyone think of some one liners relevant to a farang being in a mainly Thai audience?

In that case try the usual Thai comedians one-liner.

To farang in audience: "You know, my father's a Farang. And my mother's a Papaya".

Whay up man, diz no need like for me to tell youze where I'm from like, me old china cock sparra plate mates. North of t'Watford Gap and from the land of stolen car stezzies an' hubcaps............Wales.

So I walks up to this lovely Thai girl and says "Prung Nee Wang Mai"

She says "Wang Kha" with a sexy look in her eye.

I says "Fukc Off you Bitch! Nobody calls me a <deleted>"

I walks up to this other girl and says "Do you wanna go for a pizza and then back to my place for a good fukc?"

She slapped my face and stormed off.

hmmpf! How was I supposed to know she doesn't like pizza?

Next time you eat rice contemplate something. Where does the rice farmer working in a field go when he wants to go to the toilet?

The well water level is now down to about 14 metres - two neighbours already lost their supply because their pipe was too short. The well goes down 15 metres. Please, Buddha, gives us some rain...

I dont miss rain. Sorry RDN but i hope that it doesnt rain for a long time. If you want rain or snow. Then go back to the UK. Snowing 2 days ago in Scotland and frosty.55555555555555

Rain makes everywhere cleaner and greener. I love the rainy season.

"I like the rain...it washes away the misery and troubles off the sidewalks of life'

Humphrey Bogart.

When you pick up the phone in between rings, never when it's actually ringing.

When you pluck hairs out of your chin using two 1B coins.

When you decorate your car dashboard with 50 stg coins.

When you feel a compelling need to have to place a GSM Mobile sticker on your car.

When you use big paper clips with a belt to keep your skirt or trousers up.

I don't trust those bi lingual tellys anyway, I am always afraid I will find it in bed with the toaster and the radio

I caught my bi-TV in bed with the toaster one time. Now they've got a little baby toaster with 'pop-up' ads.

When you get here look for a map printed by PN Map Center. They make the best printed maps overall in my opinion.

Ban Krut is marked on PN's 'SouthernThailand Map'. I've recently seen a new map by them that has the Prachuap Khiri Khan area with much more detailing. Only about 80 baht.