I met a bloke in a wheelchair today, his face was battered and bruised.
"What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?" I enquired.
"No..." he said, "... hurdles."
I've just seen the headlines in the local paper. "Graveyard targeted in the night- assailants leave cheese toasties everywhere!".
Police say it's likely the work of Breville worshippers.