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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. When you know there will be sod all left by the time you get to the front of the queue...
  2. Better stop scrambling your words before you crack. Then you'll be toast.
  3. I'd suggest fetching your coat, but it looks like someone's already taken it.
  4. I've finally got around to returning the invisibility cloak I got for Christmas. I just can't see myself wearing it.
  5. I built a model of Mount Everest and my son asked, “Is it to scale?” I replied, “No, it’s to look at.”
  6. I think my wife spilled syrup all over the letter tiles while playing Scrabble at breakfast this morning. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my words!
  7. The back of a guy's anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. Someone in the crowd said ‘Do you earn a living doing that?’ He said ‘Yes, this is my livelihood.'”
  8. Every time I get something stuck in my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a pint of lager. It's known as the Heineken manoeuvre.
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