ballpoint

When I was at the garden centre today I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

I got stopped by a copper while I was going along the motorway. I stopped, opened the window and he said "This is a spot check," So I replied "I've got 2 blackheads and a boil on my arse"

Interviewer: "Give me three words that best describe you." Job Candidate: "Violent when disappointed."

Flat Earther logic:

I only found out when I went to my local office to do a 90 day report. But yes, I could just imagine turning up at the airport with family to go on a holiday only to be told you can't leave the country. I wonder if it would show up on the airline's system when checking in?

If they come from a comingled account. That is the reason I used to transfer funds to a separate account prior to Dec 31st, then make my remittances from that account the following year before transferring any more money into it. I could have remitted the money in January, and then added more to it in February with no problem, as long as I didn't remit any further money that year. Things have changed now, but I still keep that separate account, which I topped up last year, that I can remit non-assessable income (savings prior to Jan 1st 2024) from with no worries about comingling. I won't be making any transfers to it until the current money is gone.

As the person who was audited after retiring from work here, I agree that the chances of it happening to the average pensioner here are very low - or have been up till now. Whether that continues under the new rules remains to be seen. I suspect that it will, but can also see the TRD head office setting targets for tax offices to investigate a small portion of non-filing tax residents in their districts / areas each year. I'd be careful to, at minimum, keep good records over the next couple of years until we see the way things are going. The main reason I posted my experience, however, was the way that I was informed about the audit. My passport was flagged on the Immigration Bureau computer system, meaning whoever entered my name and number - including departure immigration at every airport and border, got a message saying I was up for a tax audit. As my local immigration office told me, this meant I was prevented from leaving the country until this flag was cleared. (Which eventually I had to arrange myself following the audit, by making a trip to Bangkok to visit the immigration detention centre in Soi Suan Plu). Therefore, the TRD do have the resources to identify and conduct audits on non Thai citizens, and do have sufficient integration with the Immigration Bureau to firstly identify that people have been in country long enough in a year to be tax residents, and get their passport details (I had obtained a new passport after retiring, so had a new number, but the TRD must have been informed of this by immigration), and then flag that passport in the Immigration computer system. They can, and will prevent you leaving the country until they are satisfied. Anecdotal? Not to me it isn't. And, while I'm here, I was clearly told during the audit that they use a last in, first out system when assessing remittances from savings. They look at the start and end balances of your overseas account following the remittance. For example, if you have $100k in your account on Jan 1st, you receive a further $50k to that account, then remit $50k to Thailand, the whole $50k is assessable income. You had $100k on Jan 1st, you still have $100k in there following the remittance, therefore that money was "earned" the same year it was remitted.

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. She drinks straight from the bottle.

My farmer mate had a hair brained scheme to breed genetically modified sheep that were twice the size of normal ones. He had to re-mortgage his house to finance it, but things didn’t go to plan. Although the sheep were larger they weren’t as big as he’d hoped, and the bank repossessed his house and land, leaving him with just his sheep, nowhere to live and penniless. The last time I saw him he was standing on a street corner selling biggish ewes.

I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all.

It's really difficult to find what you want on eBay. I was searching for cigarette lighters and found over 15,000 matches.

My missus was so clever at school. She got more A's than a Scouser trying to break up a fight.

Are we there yet???

As reported by the BBC:

Not a joke, more like therapy, but it brought a smile to my face...