ballpoint

Another that isn't a joke, but is interesting, and funny peculiar, never the less: The passenger steamer SS Warrimoo was quietly knifing its way through the waters of the mid-Pacific on its way from Vancouver to Australia. The navigator had just finished working out a star fix and brought Captain John DS. Phillips, the result. The Warrimoo's position was LAT 0º 31' N and LONG 179 30' W. The date was 31 December 1899. "Know what this means?" First Mate Payton broke in, "We're only a few miles from the intersection of the Equator and the International Date Line". Captain Phillips was prankish enough to take full advantage of the opportunity for achieving the navigational freak of a lifetime. He called his navigators to the bridge to check & double check the ship's position. He changed course slightly so as to bear directly on his mark. Then he adjusted the engine speed. The calm weather & clear night worked in his favor. At mid-night the SS Warrimoo lay on the Equator at exactly the point where it crossed the International Date Line! The consequences of this bizarre position were many: The forward part (bow) of the ship was in the Southern Hemisphere & in the middle of summer. The rear (stern) was in the Northern Hemisphere & in the middle of winter. The date in the aft part of the ship was 31 December 1899. In the bow (forward) part it was 1 January 1900. This ship was therefore not only in: Two different days, Two different months, Two different years, Two different seasons But in two different centuries - all at the same time!

The dangerous Kodak bear in its natural environment:

Even funnier because it's true: "A British man has been stopped from travelling overseas as his surname is deemed too rude to be written on a passport. A few years ago Kenny Kennard decided he would change his name for a laugh. He managed to get a driver’s license under his new name Fu-Kennard but his plan has since backfired after he was informed his new name would not be accepted on a passport". Man not allowed to travel overseas as surname is ‘too rude’ for passport (msn.com)

Two old guys, one 80 and the other 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. His 80-year-old buddy was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies." So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help. He said, "Do you have any rye bread?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?" He said, "I want five loaves." She said, "My goodness, five loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard." He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this but me!!.

I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read the name backwards.

I shouted angrily at a couple sparrows sitting on my garden fence. They both fell off and died. I did not know you could kill two birds with one’s tone.

I asked an elderly bloke why he was using 2 massive frozen chips as walking sticks. He replied 'They're McCains!'

I covered myself in Creosote this morning. I just thought I'd treat myself.