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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. Harry 'The Hatchet' Bennett, the underworld's greatest receiver of stolen goods, was killed today. He fell off the back of a lorry.
  2. This morning I saw an envelope on my doorstep that said: ‘Do Not Bend'. I stood there for ages trying to figure out how to pick it up.
  3. Someone ripped the pages out of both ends of my dictionary today. It just goes from bad to worse!
  4. Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal, he changed his name when the pressure got to him.
  5. I saw a man using different cuts of lightly cooked meat to create portraits. It was a rare medium, but well done.
  6. My wife said she was going to leave me because of my disgusting habits. I was in such a shock I almost choked on my toenails.
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