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1. Teaching Maths In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Maths In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or £80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Maths In 1990 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80. Did he make a profit? 4. Teaching Maths In 2000 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for £100. His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Maths In 2020 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of £20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers. ) 6. Teaching Maths in 2030 伐木工以 100 英鎊的價格出售一卡車木材。 他的生產成本是售價的4/5。 他的利潤是多少？

The front fell off.

Wait a minute. I'm coming to them.

From the article linked in the OP: ""The talks in Washington have shown that neither Ukraine nor the United States is seeking peace. They are simply intent on continuing the fighting," said Russian foreign ministry spokesperson Maria Zakharova". This is getting surreal. Those war mongering Ukrainians, intent on fighting rather than lying down and letting the Russians walk all over their country. How dare they stand up to them. All they want to do is have a peaceful outcome, one that makes Russia larger by 603,700 km², and then why not add a few tiny little countries in the Baltic to it as well? No one will even miss them. And, after that, a few more...

With private armies, like Wagner and the Chechens, and their warlord leaders, are we seeing Russia turn into another Afghanistan?

Judging by a lot of comments on social media and "news" sources like Fox, he's under more threat in the US than in Ukraine.

Things aren't looking too good financially in Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. 'This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now.' 'Yes, I remember him as a baby' says the other mother cheerfully. 'He's a martyr now though' mum confides. 'Oh, so sad dear' says the other. 'And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21'. 'Oh, I remember him,' says the other happily. 'He had such curly hair when he was born'. 'He's a martyr too' says mum quietly. 'Oh, gracious me ...' Says the other. 'And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18', she whispers. 'Yes' says the friend enthusiastically, 'I remember when he first started school'. 'He's a martyr also,' says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says.. 'They blow up so fast, don't they?'

Ever wondered, how important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

For those wondering how the UK has an oil shortage, the answer is simple. No one ever checked the level of it. It's all a matter of logistics; The oil is in the North Sea The dipsticks are in Westminster.

Saw my mate Jim yesterday, he's only got one arm. "Where you off then, Jim?" "I'm going to change a light bulb," he said. "That's going to be awkward, isn't it?" I asked. "No..... I've still got the receipt."

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared an office with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the reception desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?" All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, "NO, I'VE COME TO ENQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION. BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS." Don't mess with old folks.

HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up Your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? hay and corn. And what are these? vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need Grain? Eat Chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If You have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ... Foods are fried these days in vegetable Oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop. They go over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the local mountain. Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says, 'Dis looks like a grand place.' He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'fek dat. Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me!' Moment's later; Seamus arrives on the mountain top. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. 'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says. He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body. Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!' Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fek dat, lads. First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... And now Sean and his bloody hengliding!'

Friendship between women: Woman didn't come home one night. Next morning she tells her husband she slept over at a friend's house. The chap calls her 10 best friends, and none of them know anything about it. Friendship between men: Bloke didn't come home one night. Next morning he tells his wife he slept over at a friend's house. She calls his 10 best friends. Eight of them confirm that he slept over, and the other two maintained that he was still there.

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it, the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, 'Watch that wall!'

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . Please advise.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.

A blonde was trying to sell her old car without much success, because it had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she mentioned her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a way to make your car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "as long as I can sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here's the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the odometer in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

One beautiful December evening Pedro and his girlfriend Rosita were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, 'Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu.' “Oh no, not now. Let's look at the moon!' said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time,' Pedro begged. 'But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon.' replied Rosita. 'Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me.' Rosita looked at Pedro and said, 'OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu.' Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... 'Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year.' Merry Christmas. And take your mind out of the gutter.

I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop asked "Analogue?" I said "No, just a watch."

It's the 8th dwarf. Jeehaddy.

Elon's quote was "until I find someone foolish enough to take the job". One man is over qualified.

And they both manage to find the same "some of the people" who they can fool all of the time.

Headline coming soon: "Donald Trump appointed CEO of Twitter".