ballpoint

I wouldn't be flying in the sky if I was him...

A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his payment. He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing." The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter you’ll have to drive around in his 2021 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive." The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-s******* me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “

Unaided, Ukraine will bravely fight to the last Ukrainian. Aided, Ukraine will bravely fight to the last Russian.

If you're bringing in money that has already had legitimate taxes paid on it from a country with a tax treaty with Thailand, then no problem, you can bring it in any time as long as you have the proof that tax was paid, however, my money comes from tax free investments. In many years, the taxes I'd have to pay on these if I was a resident of my own country, or many others, are greater than the amount of money I bring into Thailand each year - which is no small amount, so, unless anyone can point me to an investment that consistently gives a far greater than 100% return in a year, I'm not complaining about losing a bit of interest. Alternate options are: 1. Just transfer as and when required, and hope that you don't get audited, which is what many people do (including myself in the past) - and the vast majority get away with it. But since the Revenue Department are now flagging passports, and the Immigration Department are following up on them, it may be more a case of when rather than if it becomes your turn. 2. Spend less than 180 days in Thailand, and any other country, in a year. This is an option I'd consider if Thailand ever started trying to tax all overseas income, whether it was transferred here or not. Maybe five months in Thailand, five in my own country, and two vacationing in others each year. Or do what I did for much of my working life - alternate four weeks here, four weeks elsewhere, making sure nowhere got up to 180 days in a single year. 3. Live by withdrawing from your overseas accounts using ATMs, or foreign credit cards at cashless sales points. It would be relatively expensive due to fees and generally poorer exchange rates, but, for me, it would be still cheaper than paying taxes. (And maybe this loophole will be closed as well if banks start reporting multiple withdrawals from foreign ATMs under CRS. You'd also still have to deposit some of the money in your Thai account if you want to use a local debit card, which would have to be accounted for as well.). 4. Move to a country with less stringent tax rules, which unfortunately are becoming fewer and fewer due to increasing global tax fraud and money laundering measures. There are still some about though.

A gentle reminder. Check your dryer settings before putting your car in.

That's correct. If I transferred all the money in January, I'd just have to show a statement for that month - showing that enough money was in there on the 1st. If I transferred it in, say October, I'd have to show statements for every month up to then, again showing the money was in there on January 1st, and no unaccounted for deposits were made in between.

Shop assistant: "Would you liked this wrapped as a gift?" Me: "Sure! I thought I was going to have to pay for it."

A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

Notice in a school cafeteria: