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ballpoint

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Everything posted by ballpoint

  1. ballpoint
    2 pebbles on a beach, one asks, "Are you married?" The other replies, "No, I'm shingle."
  2. ballpoint
    Over forty years ago today, I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful girl I've ever met to marry me. All 3 said no, so I got stuck with this one instead.
  3. ballpoint
    Had an appointment with my GP this morning. She said, "Let's talk about your weight." I said, "Well, it was about 40 minutes but it was OK, the chairs are reasonably comfortable but you could do with a few newer magazines."
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  5. ballpoint
    There's the truth, in plane English.
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    It is expected that Vladimir Putin will be voted 'employee of the century' at next month's NATO summit in Madrid, for his sterling recruitment work. (YLE is Finland's national public service media company).
  20. ballpoint
    The builders working on my house forgot to bring their trowels today. There was a lot of finger-pointing, I'll tell you!
  21. ballpoint
    Our local garden centre is selling garden shelters ridiculously cheaply. I'm wondering if they really keep out the sun and rain, or are they just a plazebo?
  22. ballpoint
    I sent off for some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested it would be in my best interest that I just start over again.
  23. ballpoint
    My consultant has told me that I will need complete rest after my operation, but after two weeks I can start doing some light housework. I said "well that's alright but I live 75 miles from the coast"
  24. ballpoint
    I just invented a thought controlled air freshener. Sounds crazy, but it makes scents when you think about it.
  25. ballpoint
    My wife said earlier: "I am going out for the morning. Do you want anything?" Me: "No, that's enough."
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