fatter than harry

Oh pleeeeeeeeeease, I'm not back to normal 

mmmmmmmmmmmmm, normal. good.

I'd like one, although I'm too busy being in cahoot's with you and scamming other members to make a request, can you choose one for me?

On the way home I realized that 'cock and cock' is three words - my mistake

Sometimes I amaze myself with the rubbish I come out with.

Everything is dammnn great in Phuket as long as you have a sense of humour, smile a lot, and have enough money to get by.

The bad things for me would probably be the excess factor, too much of a good thing, you need to be aware of it and have your feet firmly on the ground. If you put a toothpick in the corner of your mouth and swaggered around a bit you could be considered cool, if you put two toothpicks in your mouth, one in each corner and swaggered around a bit you could be considered a bit loopy, if you had forty five toothpicks in your mouth and swaggered around a bit, you'd probably have very badly bleeding gums, my point being there really aren't any limits except for the ones you set for yourself.

where is the land?

Has any one seen any plans of the proposed layout?

The Phuket Provincial Administration Organization, as the representative [body] of the Phuket people, will prepare a master plan for the project at a later date,” K. Pissawong added.

where is the land?

Good point, my guess is all that land that stretches from the old pier down to fisherman's way, only a guess. It could also go from the fisherman's lodge (soon to be upgraded to super cool apt's) Northwards....maybe inland, or even underwater, thats all bases covered

Sky Marina anyone?

firstproducer, how come there are only two answers to your query regarding land titles on Phuket and they seem to both know each other; quote "I agree with the big fella". DO NOT trust anyone here. Especially the farang. And only buy Chanote. See a good lawyer, Thai or farang FIRST.

Wow, thanks for that.

I've never met Tornado, although going by his posts and chatting to him in the chatroom he seems like a sensible and likeable fella (you see I called him fella again?)

Ya big jessy.

To a degree I agree with your sentiments about not trusting strangers, my mum taught me that, she also taught me to arm wrestle, snake wrangle and yodel naked on the back of angry bears, but that isn't pertinent here.

See a lawyer if you're buying Land? good advice, but not a farang lawyer becuase they - if I may take a leaf out of your book - CAN'T BE TRUSTED

Other good advice would be something like this:

If you have a headache, TAKE AN ASPRIN

If you're crossing the road LOOK BOTH WAYS

If you run out of steam when posting or can't think of a snappy ending WANG IT INTO A TREE

Of course, you better ignore that as I'm a FARANG

[WANG]

I agree with the big fella, feel free to PM me if you want my opinion.

Government plans marina at Chalong

PHUKET CITY: Governor Udomsak Uswarangkura has announced that Phuket province plans to build a marina in Chalong Bay.

The announcement was made during a seminar at the Royal Phuket City Hotel, attended by about 80 participants from both government and private sectors.

Panjit Pissawong, Chief of the Phuket Provincial Commercial Office, told the Gazette that Chalong Bay is the most suitable location for a new marina.

It is already home to the new Chalong Pier and to the “one stop” service that allows mariners sailing into Phuket to clear Customs, Immigration and Marine Department procedures in one place, she pointed out.

K. Pissawong said the marina would be a boon to marine tourism, an industry that is expected to grow swiftly now that import and excise taxes on foreign vessels have been reduced to zero

“To promote marine tourism, we have to attract yachtspeople here by providing marina facilities,” said K. Pissawong, adding that human resources would also need to be developed in order to meet the expected growth in the industry.

“We discussed the idea of introducing programs in marine mechanics at polytechnic and vocational schools in Phuket,” she said.

“The marina project will be initiated by the government, but will also be open for private-sector investment. The Phuket Provincial Administration Organization, as the representative [body] of the Phuket people, will prepare a master plan for the project at a later date,” K. Pissawong added.

A source told the Gazette that the project would include both hotels and a duty-free shopping area.

In a related story, the Tourism Authority of Thailand has announced that it is cons idering taking space at the Paris Boat Show and is looking for co-exhibitors.

Participation in the event, which will run from December 3 to 13, will cost between US$500 and US$1,000 (20,000-40,000 baht) per company, depending on the number of companies that agree to join.

For more information, visit the website at http://www.ifbso.com/single.asp?ShowID=12

Brought to you by:

The Phuket Gazette

19:14 local time (GMT +7)

Move along, there's nothing to see here.

It was just a normal, run of the mill bacteria-in-eye type infection, how gay of me. The doctor recommeded I give up my membership of the poo fight club.

First rule of Poo fight club; Don't talk about Poo fight club

"Never <deleted> with the Jesus"

Jesus Quintana

Lebowski 19:98

Whilst we're on the subject, I've been looking for a paint knife for years.

Last time I went paint balling I bought a paint grenade, I doggedly held onto it until the last game, threw it at the enemy in a rush of blood and ducked behind a thicket, the thud I didn't heed was the greande bouncing off a tree and landing a few feet behind me, is there a rank lower than private?

3 nights ago I was out and about and my eye was a bit itchy, like some dirt got in it, the next morning i woke with a thin crust of eye 'stuff' on my eylash, I thought 'great! that must have been that bit of dirt getting washed out'

Not so

Since then my eye has gotten puffier and more leaky, I made an appointment with the eye specialist at the hospital but that meant waiting until this afternoon at 4pm. This morning I woke up looking like rocky, I stood in the bathroom looking in the mirror trying a few 'Yo Adriaaan's' and it looked good.

Driving is a bastard with one eye closed over, self treatment wasn't so good either, the eye drops I bought were easy enough, the eye bath was a bit of a bugger, I keep dribbling it into my mouth - tastes like a very fruity leibfraumilch - the shock of drinking eye bath leads to a knee jerk reaction which usually creates a vaccum with the plastic eye bath, this enduces panic fuelled leaping in the air and a good spread of the fruity eye bath juice all over my shirt - not sexy.

Not painful but itchy and it keeps weeping this sticky clear fluid, <deleted> me what is it?!! has anyone had anything similar happen to them? will I be a fly by the end of the week? I will be going to see the specialsit in a few hours but I'm getting a bit nervous!

I say hello to everyone, I'm just addicted to being polite in public, except to people who wear camoflage trousers, I'll normally walk up to them and kick them in the back of the leg and say "Sorry, I didn't see you there" I never saw the point of camoflage clothing, unless say, you were in an army.

Orient Thai are operating the cheapest flights this month, so I hear, although its a bastard to get a seat.

I've never tried Air Asia and I have to admit I never want to, unless its a choice between them and a minibus - am I right in thinking that to qualify for the cheapy deals you have to book 30 days before flying and there's no options to change flights?

For the extra baht it costs I'm still TG'ing, upgrade to business class for 900 baht? a bargin!

The new Marina next to Boat Lagoon is called Royal Phuket Marina (RPM) I wouldn't hold your breath for this project as it only broke ground a few months back after stuttering around for 3 years after much initial fanfare, it will have the same channel style entrance as Boat Lagoon and will be berthing spaces only.

Yacht haven is good for the larger vessel / man with car, it's within spitting distance of the Sarasin Bridge (big spit, heavy smoker, very windy day) berthing fee's were about 6,000 baht a month 6 months ago. Long way from everywhere hence the car, and if you have any size mast over 6 ft you'll have to loop round the island because of that bridge.

Boat Lagoon you know only too well, Ao Chalong would be my recommendation to you, you can leave your boat on a bouy for about 400 baht a month - I think! - and there's lots of old sea dogs / miserabley mean baztards that hang out in the Yacht Club (if it's still there?) and the tamarind bar - which is definately still there, expect conversations with fellow seamen to run like this "That bloody chang was expensive, 30 baht! eeeeear, I can save 3 baht on a carton of orange cordial when I shop at sooooper cheap as compared to Big C, ......"

Good luck!

You see, it does make you disrespectful, I don't understand how you can feel ok with posting derogatory statements regarding * insert generic terms of sleeping with Thai's*

I never posted any derogatory statements. Are you sure you know what you are talking about?

My mistake, I should have wrote 'I don't understand how you can feel ok with postings of a derogatory nature'

Either way you asked the question and without PMing Yohan and asking to borrow his trawl-through-your-posts-bots to see if you actually have posted anything derogatory, not that I care if you have, I get the impression that you are fine with haphazzard posts asking 'about how quickly someone has sex?' - I simply don't agree with you because we are living in Thailand and people are talking about Thai people as if they are all <deleted> puppets, thats what I find offensive.

Apart from that I agree with your other comments

Bluecat is our very own Haiku-eske machine, he always makes me smile

Artificial life..

Masquerading as human?

Closer than you think

Yes, it's very nice.

I can see why you like it

Put it away now....

Enigmatically

I slip in there, unnoticed

And dance in the nud_e

I can't land a punch!

I look like a fool! I know...

I'll bite his ear off!

The Monkees attack

They use light bulbs as weapons

Quick, everyone hide

Life getting you down?

Go get yourself a cookie.

Forget about it.

not wearing undies...

pants stained with tomato sauce

need to do laundry

Spacemen have landed

...Christina Aguilera

It's time to go home

http://www.smalltime.com/haiku.html

Rock on Bluecat

That doesn't make me unempathetic or disrespectful or asleep, just different.

You see, it does make you disrespectful, I don't understand how you can feel ok with posting derogatory statements regarding * insert generic terms of sleeping with Thai's* when you know full well there are Thai ladies reading these threads - I'm no prude but I don't like to be rude either. If that's how you're 'just different' then so be it, I'm glad I'm not like you.

Scamp, bless ya, have you seen the fim Bruce Almighty? watch it and dammmn the potatoes (or go buy smash, it'll be near the crisps section)

It's a dance off!

LC, Wolfie, get a room!

Yeah, I too received a crappy PM from Derbyman, not the best way to start in a forum, I think he is a troll, in fact I think nearly 50% of the current farang Pub forum is filled with troll posts, not much quality there and offensive to Thai's too, I'm surprised no one else has picked up on it as we usually jump down their throats.

I think trolls are trolling their own posts which makes it all the more harder to spot, whatever, its not good.

Adelaide Crows....are they a band?

for the complete ins and outs see here: http://www.football365.com/features/f365_f...ry_119123.shtml

If you were an Evertonian, would you wish to sell Wayne Rooney? If any club needed 35 million pounds it would be Everton, who's board have given their excellent manager almost no financial support at all.