fatter than harry

Ok, I hate mosquito's

However I do give them the 'three attempts at death rule' - like when they tried to hang people in the olden days I get three attempts to kill them, if they're still flying after that then they're free to go - makes me mad though

It's just the genetal sort of mini mart stuff she's after purchasing.

Best. Typo. Ever.

If you need any dancers im sure Fatter than harry will oblige

Surely can, although I have to admit, my robot dance isn't working so well on the ladies, in fact only last week it earned me a strong punch to the abdomen and a drink poured down my pants.

'FTH needs new moves'

Quite right:

"D.M. might become a new Parliament /Government /Showpiece Building suckas!"

Yohan wrote to jonny moron:

I wonder what you know about women.....

All what I see when reading your postings, you have a Thai girl friend, who is pregnant and you consider to marry her.....

Not really enough to teach others a lesson, I would say...

But maybe I am wrong.....

So teach me a lesson and let me know, what you know about women....

FTH Wrote to Yohan regarding his ban:

Yohan, what did you expect? you have very unique views on many subjects but they always boiled down to women, fair enough, but anytime anyone criticised your opinions you trawled their personal info and posts and tried to make a fool of them, unacceptable.

Valid point about being non native english speaker and thinker but no excuses for your methods of rebuttal of other members and their opinions.

You say you do not like to "attend discussions, while being subject to arbitrary censorship." without knowing the reasons for your brief hietas I don't think you should be crying over censorship, I think you should have a look at yourself and how you handle yourself on forums, by the sounds of it this has happened to you on other forums in the past, can you see a pattern?

Many of us enjoyed your posts, many of us groaned at your single mindedness but you have to play the game, if you upset people with your opinions and they refute your claims you must learn to accept them and not launch your JohannXPI ver3000 detective droids into each disagreeable person's background, otherwise you turn the TVforum into the Johan responds forum, and that isn't fun for the rest of us.

I'd appreciate it if you didn't leave, but if you do thats ok too.

Cheers.

You're doing it again? why man, why! your sig should read "ehhh, just one more thing" as you're like an online-dirty mac'd columbo

"I live in Japan, doncha know...ehhh, just one more thing, all your opinions are redundant"

Is there a photo album link on the forum main page? As I can't find one, so does that mean I have to go into my email inbox and get to it from there everytime? Or, heavens forbid, I actually remember to add it to 'my favourites'?

Cheeops.

This is mental!

A thread regarding the westernization of Thailand has become a screaming match regarding saving brittish ass in WW2, well done.

Incidentally, wasn't it Pearl Harbour that bought the US into the war? or about four days afterwards when Japan followed by Germany said they were at war with America?

Americans are people, Thai's are people, Brit's are people - the aussies, well thats a different story just joking, Aussies are people too and we all have the same problems; a few muppets, crappy watered down politics, gay foreign policies, a youth troubled by angst, reality tv, corporate globalisation, drugs, we all have it all

Get a grip fella's, this is the land of smiles please relax!

"He hates those cans!"

Steve Martin has done many howlers, but 'The Jerk' wasn't one of them - so it wasn't that one!

After all, laughter is considered to be a manifestation of fear.

So my laughing at the Andy Capp cartoon strip is because I'm afraid of pencil drawn Northerners?

Now you mention it I think I am....

Yanker?

Let me know if you need bringing back from the dead again, ok?

my fear now turned to anger, but not just any old anger, it was a horrible, see red, pick up a car off a trapped child adrenaline surge, and unfortunate for the poor fellow he was on the receiving end of my uncontrollable emotions.

a sad tale, 12call, que the record...

Yojimbo

Not disqualified

This was a less well known Silvester Stallone vehicle whereby the characters Rocky and Rambo were actually portrayed as two brothers, the product of a 50's genetic experiment, seperated at birth. Comedy ensued as Rocky (Stallone) and Rambo (Stallone) tried to find their real mother, along the way the zany duo unwittingly find a third brother, Jimbo (Stallone) who is a transvestite tiger trainer.

Universally panned by the critics, Gregory Weinkauf, NEW TIMES said "This movie improves with depression." Jeffrey M. Anderson, SAN FRANCISCO EXAMINER screamed "An idea that began and ended with the casting session." and Kevin Fiddler of the HENDERSON HOME NEWS yelled "Freak!"

Zoolander

Zulu

Z exchanged for the letter S in text, what are you, twelve?

I'd imagine all the milling about would be due to the fact that they've never seen a snow plough before

A interesting theory organic, maybe the invasion of Iraq wasn't due to proliferation of weapons of mass destruction but the failiure of the spice girls to reform?

(okay it wasn't due to the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction either!)

Beer and pies.

You fella's never disapoint, many thanks for the info!

Mike's Bikes in Chalong do good, larger vehicle rentals, I saw they have a jeep cherokee on the forecourt - not sure on the rental rates but he's quite competitive

My Mate is trying to book a flight for sometime in the next few weeks, he tells me he can only get flights for 1,000 pounds economy - this sounds bizzare, are there any cheaper flights available and where would one look? or is he an insane cracker?

Your help. Much appreciated.

A pirate walks into a bar with his fly open,

holding a steering wheel that's fastened to

his penis.

The bartender says "Hey mate, you know you've

got a steering wheel on your penis?"

"Aye," says the pirate, "it's been drivin'

me nuts all day."

Arrrrrr

Resizing Avatar Instructions

Firstly print out your avatar and glue it to a piece of plastic. Plastics are made up of polymers in the form of a carbon chain. When a compound or mixture of compounds are polymerized (i.e. when two or more small molecules combine to form larger molecules and consisting essentially of repeating structural units) a polymer is created.

Polystyrene is a polymer whose molecules are bonded together on a long chain. Heat excites the molecues causing them to move closer together, and becoming more dense. This causes the plastic to shrink.

Materials:

Avatar coated Plastic or solid polystyrene

Toaster oven

Printer

Scanner

Colored pencils, acrylic paints, speedball paint markers (water based markers don't work as well). Do not use crayons

Sandpaper

Spatula

Tongs

Oven Mitt

Straight edge scissors, designer scissiors

Hole puncher

Jump rings

Directions:

1. Sandpaper one side of the plastic completely so that it can be drawn on and colored. The plastic is too smooth so the sandpaper creates a rough surface that holds the drawing and coloring agent.

2. Round off the corners and sandpaper the edges of the plastic so that the sharp edges will not cause injury.

3. Draw or trace any design on the rough surface using the colored pencils. The more color you use and the larger the design, the more vibrant the final product will be. You can cut the plastic into any shape you like. If you wish to create a necklace,or key chain, use the hole punch to place a hole in the top part of the shrinky dink. Insert the jump ring into the hole before you bake the Avatar coated plastic.

4. Pre-heat oven to 325 degrees. Cover a metal tray with brown paper and place the shrinky dinks colored side up on the tray. Place the tray in the oven and watch it shrink. It will start to melt and curl up, but eventually unfold when it has finished shrinking. This will take between one to three minutes.

5. Remove the plastic from the oven using a spatula or tongs as soon as it uncurls or unfolds.

6. Place it on a dry hard surface and flatten it out with the spatula. The plastic will be very hot so use caution when handling. The use of an oven mitt is recommended.

7. Scan the new resized Avatar coated plastic into your computer and upload onto the TV site.

Hope this helps!

chaaaaai

That was a very bad snail joke, beaten only by this:

I went to a fancy dress party the other day dressed as a snail, my friend asked me why I had a girl on my back?, I said "that's Michelle"

boom boom

I will!

I've been thinking about past relationships and can categorically say that in every single case, the moment I fell out of love was the moment I started to leave the toilet seat up.

In fact I think I used that as a defence in one case,

Her: "You're not the same as you used to be, you don't love me anymore!"

Me: "Dammit I do love you, have you ever noticed the toilet seat left up?!"

Her "errrrrrrr what?"

Me: (Triumpantly) "Exactly!"

[back flips out of the room]

This is bad.

We had this girl in our class who was a bit slow or 'Cornish' as we say in Cornwall, one lunch break it was absolutely teeming down with rain and I was doing skids down a grassy bank, ruining my shoes as all good schoolboys do and I noticed that there was loads of earth worms coming out of the ground, these were the big fat, dare I say juicy worms.

At this juncture I noticed the Cornish girl walking along the path next to my grassy bank, I don't know to this day what possesed me but I gathered a handful of those worms, skidded down the bank right in front of her and smashed my hand on her head, mushing the worms into her hair, she had lots of hair

I know that some people in the more upmarket spa's in Phuket would pay alot of money for that but at 8 years old I'd yet to realise that people will pay money to have stupid things done to them, the poor girl reacted like Carrie, she just stood there and screamed and screamed and screamed

The logistics involved in removing those fat worms from her tangled and blood matted hair must have involved at least two teachers, a dinner lady and 30 minutes stood over a junior washbasin but the mental scarring would certainly last her a lifetime, I know I myself can't watch Carrie, and by association all Stephen King adapted movies without thinking of the worm incident

I'd like to apologise to any other victim of worm/boy abuse and point out that my dad really kicked my asss about ruining another pair of shoes