fatter than harry

So very sorry to hear that LivinLOS

To answer Mandy's post my friend had her baby at the hospital next to Big C, her parents own hospitals in bangkok and Samui and selected that one for her, the staff were gracious and her convalesence was very comfortable, not sure how much you have for budget with regard to your accomodation but Kalim Bay Residences have 2 bedroom apartments available from 30,000 a month with a huge swimming pool, the sound of the waves, nice neighbours, friendly staff, all the trimmings really and a perfect home away from home, website is here: http://www.kalimbay.com/

Good Luck!

I'd also like to thank you rod, you manage to articulate perfectly the feelings I hold quite deeply, I spend too much time here trying to find a gag and not saying what I really feel - thank you for sharing your wisdom, it makes me happy.

I've stalked all your posts and include my favourite bits....

---------------

"I learned early that generic typecasting was pure crap ... that there were good whites and bad whites, good blacks and bad blacks, good Asians and bad Asians, and of course, good prostitutes and bad prostitutes. Consequently I have no racial prejudices at all, but I do have a behavioral prejudice ... an <deleted> is an <deleted> regardless of his/her race or color or profession.

I treat a prostitute who acts like a lady as a lady, and I presume all prostitutes to be ladies unless they prove otherwise ... but it wasn't always so. In my youth I treated those who came across like sluts badly ... insulting them and ordering them to get the <deleted> out of my face, and worse ... but I soon realized that even they had feelings and emotions, and that by deliberately hurting those feelings and emotions I became less of a man in their eyes. Being treated with contempt by a low class hooker is a hard lesson, but it's one I brought down on myself, and it's one I'm glad I learned early in life.

No matter how sleazy the advance, a polite "No thank you" is all it takes for both parties to retain their dignity. I can look back and honestly say that every working girl (even the ladyboys) who approached me in the past 40+ years has walked away with her head held high and her pride intact. Respect is a two-way street ... and courtesy costs nothing."

"Most of the girls with whom I associated at that time spoke little or no English, but we managed to communicate OK. They taught me a lot ... and not just about sex. As the weeks went by I became less arrogant, less callous, less tempermental, less violent, more respectful, more considerate of other peoples' feelings, and more open about my own feelings. In short, they taught me how to be a real man ... something some of the posters in this forum have yet to learn."

"Their lessons made me a better man."

"My father was straight-laced almost to the point of Puritanism. I couldn't wait to get away from home. I seldom thought about him while I was rampaging across the known world ... I was too busy having a good time. It wasn't until many years later, when he was dying, that I realized how much I loved him."

"Purely out of curiosity, what do you consider makes a man a "real man" ? Getting blind drunk and dropping your pants and pole-dancing in gogo bars ? Calling ladyboys poofters and faggots ? Insulting bargirls to impress your drinking mates, then paying one for a quick blowjob when no-one is watching?"

"Some posters have taken the piss out of me for admitting I learned a lot about life from Thai prostitutes. Sure, maybe I could have learned the same lessons from other sources ... but I didn't have that opportunity ... and I honestly think no-one was better qualified to teach me than the girls (and a few older women) who were the exact opposite of everything I was and had the patience (and in hindsight, in some cases, perhaps even the love) to put up with my shit and show me I could get more enjoyment out of life by being a decent human being than by being a self-centered arrogant prick."

"Even after 40+ years, I clearly remember Pornthip, a tall attractive woman of about 30 (one of the very few Thais I met in those days who spoke good English) with whom I'd spent a couple of days, saying after I'd reduced a young working girl to tears with some thoughtless insult, "Why did you make the girl cry ? You hurt yourself more than you hurt her. Now she hates you, and her tears will wash away part of your spirit." I went over to apologize to the sobbing girl, but she sneered and turned her back to me, and so did all her girlfriends. The ultimate insult. It made me feel like shit ... but I learned a valuable lesson."

"Everyone has dignity.

Everyone has pride.

Everyone has an ego.

You get what you give."

And my favourite:

"No, I didn't marry her ... and I never saw her again.

It was a devastating blow to my ego and my teenaged heart was broken ... she was a real stunner ... but Thailand was (still is) a land of outstandingly beautiful girls, so I soon recovered.

(I guess old age plays tricks on your mind ... I can taste her tears as I write this.)

--------------

How beautiful is that?

I was shocked today after last night having a conversation with a friend who was telling me to slow down with the self destructive behaviour and take care of myself and I replied 'I don't care mate'

I truly didn't care and I've been worrying all day what that means to me, I mean, I've always cared. Your words have stuck a cord at a very opportune moment, on a day when I truly needed some inspiration. I shall dust myself down, get myself together and continue to try to become a better man.

Thanks.

I getcha!

Oh any one know how I can go back and spell it right !!

Hey man, it sounds like you need to build your own time machine, which you can do here: http://www.uwe.ac.uk/fas/time/string1.htm

briefing notes can be found here: http://www.uwe.ac.uk/fas/time/notes.htm

Please pM me if you need help on any of the following categories:

How to Prepare for the Mechanical Aptitude and Spatial Relations Tests

Greenhouses and how to grow spectacular container plants

How to get ahead in the world of window cleaning

Women's Altars

Sitting down for long periods of time

Rapid room clearing A-Z

How to be a succesful reality tv candidate

How to Go to the Bathroom in Space

Improving facial hair performance

Ugly pets

Cheers!

Well... How old are you FTH?

In internet years I'm 87.

Maybe you should send him an email back asking him to stand trial for war crimes?

Or just sign him up to gay whale porn websites?

Woohoo!

The ins and outs are here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/e...rem/3889781.stm

Birmingham and Middlesborough have bought in the big guns, Everton have bought in Marcus Bent , deal of the closed season must be Villa getting 2 million pounds for Crouch, Tottenham tipped for top 6 finish!

As a West Ham fan I'm still smarting over the Palace loss, but he's a fine fella that Ian Dowie, even if he has a somewhat scary head.

Going down:

West Brom

Portsmouth

Everton

Winners:

The Arse

Also think Man United's reign is over, like Liverpool they will be facing a battle to get back to past glories for a few years to come.

Move to Pattaya.

That just happened to me! salami and cheese sandwich? Nope, ripped and mutilated carbohydrate crumbs squeezed back onto a salami / cheese magnet.

The Yang to that mess-that-was-dinner would have to be the fact that the bread was nearly 3 weeks old and no mould - not one bit

Single man's dinner.

Fasbric being Russian for Pizza

Ok, whilst the flippant pizza post upset Debaryman101, I must point out that I try to stay away from flamming others and try to keep clear of threads that I don't find apealing - however you caught me on a bad day and whilst I was reading your post I heard the screaming voices in my head and I felt I had to respond to your pointless post with a pointless post - no offence.

My point is, if you ate 4 pieces of toast this morning and didn't put jam on them and asked me why? how the sweet f##k am I supposed to respond?

The attraction of Bar girls? maybe its static, you know like when socks and pants stick together in the dryer when you don't use fasbric softner?

Maybe

The attraction of Pizza?

I am half Italian and half piss bored, I grew up in not Italy. I have been to Italy four times the last two times I was on a diet. I have had oppurtunities to go eat pizza but i never did for reason's i rather keep to myself.

But can anyone answer this for me?

with no mo teeth

So she would be an 80 year old black feminist hip-hop recording star, sounds like my gran - she has a huge growth on her inner calf which makes her walk like a gangsta.

RNA, turn back! It's just started to piss down!

Why do redheads wear panties. To keep their ancles warm. - You see it just doesn't work.

I'm a redhead and it works for me....except I don't wear panties........and I have ankles......however it still works for me.

Carry on.

Ohh and if there's anyone who'd want to trade some books, please let me know.

You wanna learn about 'The errors of world war II'?

If I may be so bold...

[clears throat]

Ladies and Gentlemen! I'd like to bring you this stirring rendition of a traditional bluegrass tune some of you may remember from the popular motion picture 'Oh brother where art thou' I bring it alive for you today, with a little help from my muppet friends.

[slow jigging, elbows high]

[The Muppets] In constant sorrow all through his days!

I am a man of constant sorrow,

I've seen trouble all my days.

[The Muppets] he's seen trouble all his days!

I bid farewell to old Kentucky,

The place where I was born and raised.

[The Muppets] The place where he was born and raised!

--- [Miss Piggy] Banjo breakdown ---

For six long years, I've been in trouble.

no pleasure here, on earth I've found.

[The Muppets] no pleasure here, on earth he's found!

For in this world, I'm bound to ramble,

I have no friends to help me now.

[The Muppets] He has no friends to help him now!

It's fare thee well, my old true lover,

I ne'er expect to see you again.

[The Muppets] He ne'er expects to see you again!

For I'm bound to ride, that Northern Railroad,

Perhaps I'll die upon this train.

[The Muppets] Perhaps he'll die upon this train!

You can bury me in some deep Valley,

For many years, there I may lay.

[The Muppets] For many years, there he may lay!

Then you may learn to love another

while I am sleeping in my grave

[The Muppets] While he is sleeping in his grave!

Maybe your friends think I'm just a stranger,

My face you'll never see no more.

[The Muppets] His face you'll never see no more!

But, there is one promise that is given,

I'll meet you on God's golden shore.

[The Muppets] He'll meet you on God's golden shore!

I found it on a website, if I'd made that lot up I'd be a kung foo master, but I'm still only a kung foo bitch.

They made me smile.

It sounds like a nightmare begs, for what it's worth from an anonymous internet poster, good on you for working hard to beat it.

Life of Pi was written by Yann Martel and I agree it was a good read.

I also enjoyed 'Cryptonomicon' by Neal Stephenson.

and 'Carter beats the devil' by Glen David Gold.

I'm currently reading 'The errors of world war II' which is boring as helll, but I'm a stubborn bast@rd that hasn't been beaten by any book yet.

For epic cheese you can't beat 'Kane and Abel' by Jeffrey Archer or 'The Stand' by Stephen King.

And you really should read everything (in the right order) by James Clavell

My long term projects of books to get hold of are 'East of Eden' by John Steinbeck and 'Dear Boy: the Life of Keith Moon' by Tony Fletcher

Hardest book I ever read was 'Mason & Dixon' by Thomas Pynchon, clearly a modern masterpiece but written in an 18th century style which meant that I had to pretty much re re read every sentence.

The only book I've ever read twice is Lord of the rings.

When I was growing up our family had 'The kenny Everett book of Loo Laff's' next to our toilet - for some reason it stayed there for about 12 years, I hate that book.

I have never really considered 'downer' addiction, I spent 5 horrible fantastic years taking every form of 'upper' known to man and beast, the day I thought I was a cow and was found wandering the streets in a animal print blanket, on all fours, mooing was the day I realised I needed to tone it down a bit. That was about 5 years ago now and I think I'm better!

What kind of symptoms does one go through from a Xannax or suchlike addiction?

In Japan, Sony Vaio machines have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with their own Japanese haiku poetry.

Windows NT crashed.

I am the Blue Screen of Death.

No one hears your screams.

A file that big?

It might be very useful.

But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek

Can not be located but

Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.

Reflect, repent, and reboot.

Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:

Close all that you have worked on.

You ask way too much.

Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.

This thousand dollar screen dies

So beautifully.

With searching comes loss

And the presence of absence:

"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen

Is not the true Tao, until

You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course

Of little worth is your ire

The network is down

A crash reduces

Your expensive computer

To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:

Death, taxes, and lost data.

Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,

But the water has moved on.

This page is not here.

Out of memory.

We wish to hold the whole sky,

But we never will.

Having been erased,

The document you're seeking

Must now be retyped.

Serious error.

All shortcuts have disappeared.

Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

Samotność – towarzyszka życia.

I'd like to become a sex slave, where do I sign?

how drunk is blind drunk?

Because A, IO can hardly focues

B., Neither can the girls w' on the sauxce eith,

and C, sleepy dwarf.

<deleted>?! I have no recollection of posting that at all, sorry!