Any Advice For An Idiot?

[Robski]

Tell her you're gay. End of story.

[ThailandTony]

By the way....the mother knows!....I've lived in the village for years and everybody knows the arsewhole of everyone elses business. The only way they don't know your business is if you tell noone. By the sound of it, mum introduces daughter to likely falang mug, mug is hooked, skin(t)ned and ends up gutted. That is less of an indictment on them more about you.

[TizMe]

Have you thought about hiring a private investigator to check this girl out. I'm sure there are a lot of PI's in Bangkok. Then, if the PI verifies this information, you could use it to explain to your fiancee why the wedding is off without implicating your friend's wife.

Better still. just tell her that you hired a PI and that the PI had told you. You save money by not having to pay a PI and without implicating your friend's wife.

[Dave the Dude]

Is there any way to bow out of this thing a little more gracefully? Here's the problem, one of my best friends is married to her neighbor, and the "fiancee's" family is a lot more powerful in the Moo Ban. I want to make sure that I deflect any blame from them, 'cause I know she's gonna be pissed. It's getting to be a bit like a like a soap opera -- she called me not 10 minutes ago..."Dahleeng, why you no call me?"

How do I get myself into these things?

Hi Servicetill

Us westerners deal with problems 'Face to Face', Thai's get some third party to sort things out. Why not get your friend and family to confront this devious b*tch and 'GET THINGS OUT IN THE OPEN' within the Moo Ban. Then when you arrive the sh*t would already have hit the fan and sensible people might remember YOU are the injured party.

THEN, as said previously RUN FOREST RUN

[Pink Mist]

Tell her you're gay. End of story.

better still tell her you are an english test cricket player

[endure]

Tell her you're gay. End of story.

Big problem. She'll try and set you up with her brother

[CTM]

Yes, confront her in the village with the news that the winning lotto ticket is no good. Can’t imagine how that could turn ugly.

Seriously, Thailand is not some hippy commune in California. You’re not going to sit around with her and her family and have some touchy rap session talking about your “feelings.” Listen to the advice, run. Just don’t go. They will get the message. They will know they have been caught and the jig is up. If you go they will never admit it and it could turn violent.

Why would you agree to marry a woman you knew one week and don’t love anyway?

All you who say “give gold”, “pay for the party”, and such are being foolish. You are rewarding their bad behavior. Everyone in the village knows you are being played for a chump. Reward her and you will always be a chump to them as will the next farang. Dump her with no rewards or mercy and you might actually gain some “face”.

PI would be a good idea except it is a village. Sorry, no way for a stranger to discreetly show up in the village and be asking questions or watching people. Telling her you hired a PI sounds like a good idea should you ever run into her again.

[SanukJoe]

It would be considerably more clear what to do if you can confirm the indescretion with information from more than one person. Unless you trust that one person totally. There are lots of jealous people to spread vicious rumors in the world. If the situation is not fully clear, you can delay things by being unable to return on schedule.

Just taking an alternate view.

kenk3z

I totally agree with you that it's a risky thing to believe one person, unless you trust that person 100%. Maybe OP can say something about that.

The whole story is a bit weird IMHO, marrying a girl you know for ONE WEEK! Come on, I believe in falling in love, but one week is obviously no reason to marry, this is of course my personal opinion.

Then, if OP trusts the person who told him, meaning it's all true about ripping off, I follow all posters here who said: RUN!!!

PI is no good in villages, no one tells him anything.

The way to run: well you have read several "creative" plans, take one as you please

Joe

[topdogdk]

Change the ticket to a couple of days before.

Go to Pattaya, spend the money there, and have a great time.

In 2 days you will have forgotten all about her, just DON´T fall in love.

Remember to change your telephone number.

[NovaBlue05]

No Isaan girl is going to fall in love with a farang in a week. They are looking for security (not from danger mind you) and the status it brings to them and their immediate family. hel_l... most farang women past the age of 25 size up their prospective husbands based on their percieved financial stability.

This girl seems to have another dimension of deception about her though. Too much baggage to take on IMO.

There are lots of available women. Chalk this up to experience and tread slowly the next time. There's no hurry unless you have some terminal disease and need a quick beneficiary. I have to say it again...You really had a horseshoe up your ass this time in that you found out all of this beforehand.

[Briggsy]

Look a million dollars ... for far less dosh

Here's a piece from The Sun

High price for getting hitched

By MARC WEBBER

Sun Money

February 02, 2007

COMMENT ON THIS STORY

LOVE comes at a cost - £18,490 to be precise.

That's how much it will cost the average couple to get married this year, according to wedding insurers, Weddingplan.

And while costs for the rest of the economy have risen by 4 per cent in the past year, the price of a wedding has risen by 6.8 per cent - meaning some companies out there are charging more than they should be for your big day.

Weddingplan's Mark Randerson said: "A wedding is one of the biggest financial outlays a couple will ever make. Shops say the bridal gown alone has gone up on average from £683 to £871."

The table below shows how much we will have to spend on individual items.

Item

Average

3 x Adult's Bridesmaid Dress (Purchase)

£519.45

Bridegroom's & Best Man's Morning Suits (Hire)

£110.55

Bride's Dress (Purchase)

£871.15

Bride's Shoes (Purchase)

£68.61

Bride's Veil

£80.62

One Child's Bridesmaid's Dress

£105.63

Pageboy's Suit (Hire)

£46.42

Bride's Bouquet

£72.19

Bridesmaid's Bouquet

£40.41

Buttonholes x 5

£20.25

Mother of the Bride's Bouquet

£16.09

Cars

£310.60

Church

£333.91

Honeymoon

£5,500.00

Honeymoon Suite

£233.32

Photography

£1,045.56

Video

£648.00

Reception

£5,492.88

Stationary

£620.99

Wedding Cake

£315.11

Wedding Rings

£2,039.10

Total

£18,490.82

As ever, the cost of a wedding can rise and fall depending on where you live.

It will come as no shock that London is the most expensive place to walk down the aisle with the average ceremony and all the frills costing a whopping £21,628.10.

If you want a wedding on the cheap, head off to the North East of England, where it will set you back a mere £16,550.16.

[CountryBoy]

"Idiot is as idiot does" Surely man if you can't run like Forest, a quick brisk walk will do, that is if you dont bump into the next mother daughter one two. Thailand is a big place. Just lower the withdrawal limit on your farang atm by 90%

Edited February 6, 2007 by CountryBoy

[ray23]

Cancel the wedding and leave it at that. Then run.

You are kidding right, what would you do for a con artist where you are now.

Good advice above. Do you have to go to this village? Ya! Moma don"t know. Apparently you just refuse to smell the coffee.

You know shame on her for what she has done, go back and it's shame on you.

Here is a little bit of news for you, you have lots of freedom in Thailand and no one can make you go to any village. Her face don't worry she lied to you she will lie to the village and you will be a number one jerk. Who cares lots of villages in Issan, but not nearly as many as there are women.

Man if you can't say no and walk away I really recommend that you avoid Thailand.

But on the other hand if yuo enjoy being the victim and the drama by all means meet at the airport, marry her, take back to the states work seven days a week twelve hours a day. Give her the money lots of people are going to enjoy the fruits of your labor. But you really need to start a true coffession's novel for yourself. Cause very few have the desire to worry about you causing yourself all this grief.

You just had had a semester in Water Buffalo University most of us bail out at about the AA level, but you can work on the Doctrates.

Up to You !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[phibunmike]

You have had a lot if differing advice. My unique contribution is...

RUN !

[Anek18]

Tell her you are not ready.....you had a second throught and just slowly break away from there..

[Ricohoc]

It seems you have a lot invested (money/heart) in this girl. Everyone is telling you to run. Have you thought about hiring a private investigator to check this girl out. I'm sure there are a lot of PI's in Bangkok. Then, if the PI verifies this information, you could use it to explain to your fiancee why the wedding is off without implicating your friend's wife. You'll also be able to talk to your fiancee about this and have some closure, maybe she will have a good explanation.

Better yet, save your money, don't hire a PI and say you did. It worked for me once. She never disputed the information that I provided and my source was protected.

[KK-Mike]

Is there any way to bow out of this thing a little more gracefully? Here's the problem, one of my best friends is married to her neighbor, and the "fiancee's" family is a lot more powerful in the Moo Ban. I want to make sure that I deflect any blame from them, 'cause I know she's gonna be pissed. It's getting to be a bit like a like a soap opera -- she called me not 10 minutes ago..."Dahleeng, why you no call me?"

How do I get myself into these things?

What do you mean " more gracefully " Your fiance is banging her EX or someone. How gracefull is that. To hel_l with the lot of them. Like many other post, Be gracefull while RUNNING VERY FAST.

[KK-Mike]

Fron The Nation newspaper in Brief column 10 Jan 2007

The government approved two key bills

1. "allows a fiancee to demand monetary compensation from those who have sex with their partners."

2. "allows those whose spouses are having an affair to demand money from the lover"

You could be a rich man

rEF: # 2 ABOVE. I know of a case where husband had girlfriend and wanted divorce, girlfriend and husband had to pay 300,000 baht to the wife before they could be free of the mess.

[KK-Mike]

Cancel wedding over phone..change date of flight and stay away from her village! (problem solved)

This is the BEST advice yet!! Why meet and stay in a hotel, where she will have more time to make your life more miserable or knife you while you sleep.

[Lickey]

By the posts here, members have given you many perspectives to think about, from mallicious village gossip, heresay and personnal misfortunes, reading your post a few times, i have come to the conclusion that you are a lot older than her at 35, you were smitten by her beauty and her mothers charms, probaly the kids too, ok, 50.000bht for the wedding is not bad, was there any mention of a dowry?? this is also normal in Thai, does she have land, do you have to buy her 20 buffalo?? are you paying for family coming from Europe? lots of things to consider, yes, i agree, any farang coming to Thai will have to spend money, ie, improve house,farm,transport ect, just to be more comfortable himself, and the right thai girl will appreciate this and be happy and look after you, then on recollection, every woman in the world wants this.

Put your mind at rest my good man, if you have doubts of her fidelity and get jealous to the point of breakdown, then make other plans, its not worth the suffering, Ive been here sometime now, and its only LOS if you are on holiday, without my special lady, i would have gone back to UK long time ago, be patient, you could find a good one nearer your age, they are a lot safer and mature,

Dont know if i should post this, sod it, will anyway!!

[Kaoboi Bebobp]

It's been over five weeks since the OP posted. Did he ignore all the good advice? . . .

Run

and

1. keep Sleep Around Girl?

2. throw his lot in with mama?

3. reveal he's gay and fall in love with the neighbour's well endowed son

4. open up a beer bar in Pattaya, which could be as successful as the marriage.

Tap tap tap tap tap . . .

Edited February 23, 2007 by Kaoboi Bebobp

[scooty]

RUN RUN RUN as quick as the wind

[Dave the Dude]

RUN RUN RUN as quick as the wind

Hi All

I wonder if FerangATM is getting the message ?? A common thread is running (pun) through this topic. We hav'nt heard from him since 12 Jan. Perhaps he ran into another few brides-to-be ?

[blue eyes]

Maybe he married her and they have now gotten rid of him for the insurance.

[jaiyenyen]

Well, as they say, there's no fool like an old fool. I met a woman while traveling through Isaan, and after a week together we were engaged. She is 35, divorced, and has 3 kids. I was introduced to her by her mother, of whom I am very fond, and I promised to return to marry her daughter at the end of this month (Jan. 2007). Now I find that she has been seeing a Thai man while I'm gone -- possibly the ex-husband, and has confessed to friends that she doesn't really love me, but wants money and is willing to move to the States and live with me to get it. I found out all this through a good friend in the same village.

None of this surprises me, although one can imagine my disappointment -- I really fell for her, but here is my quandary. She is planning a wedding, she sent out 300 invitations, arranged for music, etc., and I promised her Mom 50,000 THB for the food and drink, etc. Her brothers are comng from Bangkok w/their families, her sister is coming from Europe with her farang husband and 2 kids (she hasn't seen her in 4 years!). Half the family is meeting me at the airport when I arrive in Bangkok, and then I'll be frog-marched out to the village for the wedding 2 days later.

My inclination is to keep my word and return to Bangkok, and at some point confront her, I just don't want her family to think that I was the "bad guy" and dumped her. I am fairly certain that her Mom doesn't know about the boom-boom with the ex either, because she's been away from the village since I left. However, there are no secrets in the village as you all know, so it would be real strange for me to go through a ceremony knowing all this.

I don't know how I'll play this yet, maybe go through the ceremony, take her on a honeymoon then dump her -- I never promised her money or a ticket to the US. Any suggestions?

Run as fast as your little legs will carry you !!!!!!!