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Irish Landing


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As they approached Dublin Airport's No.1 runway, the control tower

heard:

PILOT - Bjeesus will ya look how fookin shart dat runway is?

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !

PILOT - Dis is ganna be one a de trickiest landings ever, Shamus !

CO-PILOT - Yer nat fookin kiddin, Paddy !!

PILOT - Right, Shamus, when I say 'go' put de engines in reverse !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat !!

PILOT - An den ya put de flaps down !!

CO-PILOT - Royt, I'll do dat, too !!

PILOT - An den stamp an de brakes as hard as yer can an pray ta de

Holy Mudder a Gad !!!

CO-PILOT - I'm prayin already, but I'll hit de brakes as hard as I

can!!

So, as the wheels hit the ground, Shamus put the engines in

reverse, puts the flaps down, stamped on the brakes and continued to

pray to the Holy Mother of God with all his soul.

The brakes screeched, the tyres squealed, and there was smoke

everywhere, but, to the relief of all the passengers, and, not least of all,

Paddy and Shamus, the aircraft came to stop only half a meter from the

end of the runway.

As they sat in the cockpit regaining some composure, Paddy looked

out of the window and said to Shamus, "Dat has gat ta be de shartist fookin

runway in de world!"

Shamus replied, "Yes, but da ya see how fookin wide it is?"

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