The Funny Things The Girls Say!

[gburns57au]

Today while watching TV with my lady who is here on holiday, she suddenly said what I thought was Lex Luthor........thinking that Smallville had returned to the screens I looked at the TV and couldnt see any connection....

yep it was an ad for a local chicken outlet......Red Rooster

[tripperj]

My Thai wife calls my penus "HIM" and her vagina "she".  You can make up your own jokes!!

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Mine calls mine " my son " and hers " her daughter

she say " he he he, ur son wake up!!!"

[Thaipwriter]

many girls have said to me " can you buy gold for me?"

as you can imagine...I laughed my conkers off

[nev]

my ex thai girlfriend was reading the paper when she started sneezing.

i ask whats a matter darling.

she say's i am allergic to newspaper then adds thats why i no read book's.

god bless her.

should have used that excuse at school.

[craigt3365]

Just after we moved to the US, we rented a car in Florida and I made my wife the navigator. Easy instructions. I knew what they were, but wanted her to get use to reading a map, etc. So, when I was suppose to turn right on 3rd street, she said turn right at "tree". I was trying to remember if that was anywhere on the directions...so I asked her again. She just said tree, tree, tree. After a few minutes of going back and forth I pulled over and read the directions again...3rd street! I told her. She got very mad at me and said "I quit". "No more work". Too funny...

[SiamOne]

yep, I make good mistakes too

I was at dinner party in London, we were talking about tattoos

I said I wanted one, they politely asked me where, so I replied "up my bum"

stunned silence, until my hubbie explained I meant on top of my butt

I get my English from him anyway!!

[bendix]

I love this thread. Funniest thing on this forum, for sure.

TGF and I were in Hua Hin recently, having coffee on the pavement. Across the road, was a small hotel and there were a couple of farang tourists, hanging over the window ledge, idly killing time.

I watched TGF watching them. She was obviously thinking of a word, but couldn't quite find the right one. And then it popped out . . .'Bendix, those farang had better be careful they don't fall off the balcorridor".

She mixed up balcony and corridor. A new word is born.

She's also been studying western philosophy recently. Each night she comes home, keen to discuss the ideas Praydo, Soccertease and Arrytoto. Her favourite, though, is Jim PaulShat. Go figure.

By the way, is it usual for all inanimate objects to be referred to as female? Recently her phone was on the blink . . "She's not working . . need to get fixed." I've noticed this on other things also.

[tripperj]

When i first meet my gf, we were taking about previous relationship. She told me about her last boy friend from Norway, and how she live there with him for 3 years. I asked what happened , how she ended back in thailand. She told me " he have go monkey house". ????? Turns out this is her word for jail, i love it. i use it all the time now.

Also on my frist trip to LOS, there was 4 of us. Me an another on our 1st trip and the other two were old hands. They were trying to teach us a little thai, One night in pattaya, we were in a resteraunt, and it was time to ask for the bill. MY friend (the other one who was on his 1 st trip), raised his hand and calmy said to our waitor " jack wow krap"!!!!!

[udon]

My ex used to refer to "Jockey" dungers as Monkey Pants......

She had obviously seen chimps on TV wearing nappies.

Not a very complimentary remark...

[Canadian-Jesse]

My ex used to refer to "Jockey" dungers as Monkey Pants......

She had obviously seen chimps on TV wearing nappies.

Not a very complimentary remark...

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I'm wearing my monkey pants!

[jayenram]

The FG was booking a hotel on the telephone the other day. She turned to me and asked if we wanted a room with fish because it's Bht 50.00 / day extra. I said "no, no fish" as I visualised a tropical fish tank in the bedroom, lit up and bubbling away all night.

It wasn't until next day when I was discussing this with Lampshade that she butted in asked "what are you talking about fish for?" She was trying to say "fridge".

I hadn't noticed before that although she does an excellent job of guarding the fridge, she cannot say the word properly.

[Jai Dee]

Just after we moved to the US, we rented a car in Florida and I made my wife the navigator.  Easy instructions.  I knew what they were, but wanted her to get use to reading a map, etc.  So, when I was suppose to turn right on 3rd street, she said turn right at "tree".  I was trying to remember if that was anywhere on the directions...so I asked her again.  She just said tree, tree, tree.  After a few minutes of going back and forth I pulled over and read the directions again...3rd street! I told her.  She got very mad at me and said "I quit".  "No more work".  Too funny...

Knowing your wife mate I can visualise that scene perfectly...

Just like her cousin...

Priceless aren't they?

The FG was booking a hotel on the telephone the other day. She turned to me and asked if we wanted a room with fish because it's Bht 50.00 / day extra. I said "no, no fish" as I visualised a tropical fish tank in the bedroom, lit up and bubbling away all night.

It wasn't until next day when I was discussing this with Lampshade that she butted in asked "what are you talking about fish for?" She was trying to say "fridge".

I hadn't noticed before that although she does an excellent job of guarding the fridge, she cannot say the word properly.

"The fish guard"...

Classic!!!

[OlRedEyes]

Leaving a casino early one morn after a night of entertainment my gf announced quite loudly, 'Now I feel like cock!'. Two guys who happened to just walk past nearly dislocated their necks, envy in their surprised looks.

She went to great lengths after that to get the pronunciation of coke right

[Canadian-Jesse]

Leaving a casino early one morn after a night of entertainment my gf announced quite loudly, 'Now I feel like cock!'. Two guys who happened to just walk past nearly dislocated their necks, envy in their surprised looks.

She went to great lengths after that to get the pronunciation of coke right 

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Hahahaha!

Dude, that's hilarious!

[sbk]

OK, my husband is not a girl, but he is Thai and although his english is fluent he does make the occasional mistake.

Last high season our bungalow resort was full and very very busy. Husband turned to me and said (of our staff) "The girls are naked". I said (indignantly!) "They are not!". He said, "Yes they are, they are really tired, they've been working very hard. They are naked". I said "Knackered! Not naked!" Needless to say, I ended up laughing my head off. The girls didn't think it was so funny...

[sleir]

A phrase from my girlfriend that i really adore :

DO YOU LOVE I MAI ?

It's just too cute !!

She's constantly mixing Thai and English, and this was in the beginning of our relationship when her english wasn't that good.

[sierra01]

An ex Thai g/f had me stumped once, she asked me if I wanted 'chicken circle' for dinner. After much head scratching by me and discussion with her I finally realised she meant BBQ chicken!

[mrbojangles]

She's constantly mixing Thai and English

Yeah, i know what you mean. But she's got me at it now. I'll be speaking something and it's usually half English and half Thai. She must be saying to her friends "The funny things the GUYS say" like when i wanted to go and watch "Pubic Hair Boxing"

[OxfordWill]

//just wanted to confirm that Bambi can say 'crisps' perfectly.

[BambinA]

//just wanted to confirm that Bambi can say 'crisps' perfectly.

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well ...thank you OxfordWill...i have a great teacher ,,,indeed ...he thoght it sound like cris+sip see(14) in TH word ...

kisses at the teacher xoxo

Bambi

[naomisri]

My Thai husband loves Liverpool Football Club and calls Michael Owen "my friend" (despite the fact that he's at NCastle now).

Last season he was reading the paper and I asked him who was playing that weekend. He said "Old Man Antique" were playing in the League Cup... Who? I thought to myself.

It took him about 10 minutes to be able to pronounce Oldham Athletic.

When it comes to teams that aren't or haven't been in the premier league he hasn't got a clue. If he doesn't recognise a team name he'll say "Oh they play in division 1 right?"

[BambinA]

i hate myself sometime , when i have a conversation with farang bloke, i try to talk as inteligent suff...but i dont know how to say ...sometime i dont know that word in eng , so i just say nothing ...and give up ... sound like dumb gal..but yes yes .. i know guy like stupid girl .. no need to pretend then lol lol

[BambinA]

hallo hallo .. from barlady

aroi .. me no mamasan

me go 7-11

bank 20 no condom

me like mama

after eat it .. mama's bag is useful

no need comdom

aroi prick..phed phed

seab eeh leeh der

[Duality]

my gf never says "can't" instead she says "can not to"

"i can not to go out with you tonight darlin, i wery tired and must to pai non"

[Canadian-Jesse]

hallo hallo .. from barlady

aroi .. me no mamasan

me  go 7-11

bank 20 no condom

me  like  mama

after eat it .. mama's bag is  useful

no need  comdom

aroi prick..phed phed

seab eeh leeh der

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What?

By the way Duality that's funny stuff

[BambinA]

hallo hallo .. from barlady

hello hello from barlady

aroi .. me no mamasan

I'm yummy ,  i dont have any mamasan

me  go 7-11

I will go to seven-eleven

bank 20 no condom

give me 20 Bht , without condom

me  like  mama

I like instant noodle (mama)

after eat it .. mama's bag is  useful

after eat , the bag can use instead condom

no need  comdom

aroi prick..phed phed

yummy chilli spicy !!

seab eeh leeh der

bloody yummy indeed

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What?

By the way Duality that's funny stuff

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[opothai]

my gf never says "can't" instead she says  "can not to"

"i can not to go out with you tonight darlin, i wery tired and must to pai non" 

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quality

my wife has been in england, now she say's 'i want see ulop my lub'

[mrbojangles]

my wife has been in england, now she say's 'i want see ulop my lub'

What does 'i want see ulop my lub' mean

Is she coming friday Opothai ?

Mine says things like "no pwoblem darklink" and "darklink, i wan axe you somthink" It's great innit

[opothai]

my wife has been in england, now she say's 'i want see ulop my lub'

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

What does 'i want see ulop my lub' mean

Is she coming friday Opothai ?

Mine says things like "no pwoblem darklink" and "darklink, i wan axe you somthink" It's great innit

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i think it is mean't to be 'i would love to go to europe my love'

the wife unfortunately can not make come as i am coming straight from coventry [work]

[tripperj]

"you learn talk thai this make me clazy, why me talk ilish all time, you talk thai. You not know what me talk about me talktalktalk you just smile and shake head, LAERN THAI, ding dong AAAAAGHHHHHHH!!" "Solly my lub, is today no good, me think men come me want kill evelybody"