Relationships and age differences, a personal case study

[NonthaburiBear]

3 hours ago, GoDucks said:

She met me alone, in a mall Starbucks.  We did not leave the mall in that first meeting.  She was unbelievably shy.  And I had absolutely no intention of beginning any long-term relationship with her (or anyone) at that time.

She had a foreign online BF for nearly 2 years whom she never met, from 16 until after we met and started dating.

She, like many Thai girls, has some self esteem issues.  She is always worried I am going to "find a girl better than" she is.  I tell her... I have been in plenty of relationships and I know a great thing when I see it.  I am not looking.  But, if she feels its time to move on (and I often mention that in 20 years she will be relatively young and I will be pretty old) she can and should.  And if that does, indeed happen, because I do want the best for her, I will wish her the very best.

actually your stories it's too good to be true, but hope all the best for you

2 hours ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You seemed confused about the definition of boyfriend/relationship.

Boyfriend = someone who gets to handle the goods on a regular basis 'without making a purchase' (not chatting online).

Relationship = living with someone.

 

Some of your opinions seem a little strange/naive/immature for a grown man 50+ years old.

Age just number not a state of mind or any particular behaviour

[GoDucks]

While I have not lived here non stop all this time, I have been in Thailand most of the time since 1996.  I KNOW things have changed a lot.  I have seen the changes.  But its a lot different than it was even 3 years ago.  The changes have been massive.

And while, SO FAR, my story is too good to be true (and I admit that might change any moment) thats the reason I posted it.  

[Gecko123]

3 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

She does nto hear it at all from her friends.  They all say "Most farang are bad.  You found a nice one.  Do not mess it up".

Like I said. Some guy telling us what he wants us to believe on an anonymous internet forum. Trust me people: I've seen the type of cyber bullying, teasing, and gossiping that goes on between Thais. I've even seen the Facebook feeds of girls after they've posted pictures of their foreign boyfriends. Raised eyebrows and snide comments are not in short supply. I can only imagine what her male Thai classmates must be saying.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, Gecko123 said:

Like I said. Some guy telling us what he wants us to believe on an anonymous internet forum. Trust me people: I've seen the type of cyber bullying, teasing, and gossiping that goes on between Thais. I've even seen the Facebook feeds of girls after they've posted pictures of their foreign boyfriends. Raised eyebrows and snide comments are not in short supply. I can only imagine what her male Thai classmates must be saying.

Well, agian, seems you know little about Thailand.

She studies in an English program.  That means the makeup of her class is 75% female, 15% gay, 9% ladyboy (way less ladyboys now as gay is more common) and 1% straight guy.

She is one of those girls who likes foreigners.  Is not a large percentage of the Thai population bit its not insignificant either.

[GoDucks]

She has a lot of freinds who date foreigners (NOT her classmates as they mostly date Thais), and is a member of two massive facebook pages (roughly 10,000 members each) which discuss dating and relationships with foreigners.  Its a private group for Thai girls only.  

Some of these friends openly discuss just getitng money.  Some are "converting" to asian guys because they are more willing to buy them stuff and give them money.

None of this has much to do with me or my girl... just stuff I find interesting that she tells me about.

Edited March 11, 2018 by GoDucks

[seancbk]

3 hours ago, GoDucks said:

I am obviously OK in discussing this relationship as... i am the OP.  It has been interesting to hear the other perspectives, humorous to hear the haters, and reassuring to hear the similar success stories.

And she loves to wear bikinis.  One of her faults is she is a bit obsessed with her body and weight--she was pretty heavy (70 kg) until the beginning of M6.  Now she watches her weight and diet religiously.

And because I know u guys just love it when I post her pic... (obvious sarcasm) here is another one.  

 

She looks good in this pic.   Congratulations!

[AsiaCheese]

And talk about progress: she cleaned the mirror. Or you did  

 

PS: nice pic - again.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, AsiaCheese said:

And talk about progress: she cleaned the mirror. Or you did  

 

PS: nice pic - again.

Wasn't me.  I hate housework.  And yes this is a more recent pic.

[transam]

3 minutes ago, seancbk said:

 

She looks good in this pic.   Congratulations!

I prefer what's between their ears.....

[NonthaburiBear]

28 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

She has a lot of freinds who date foreigners (NOT her classmates as they mostly date Thais), and is a member of two massive facebook pages (roughly 10,000 members each) which discuss dating and relationships with foreigners.  Its a private group for Thai girls only.  

Some of these friends openly discuss just getitng money.  Some are "converting" to asian guys because they are more willing to buy them stuff and give them money.

None of this has much to do with me or my girl... just stuff I find interesting that she tells me about.

some farangs still think they can get easy Thai women with money and knick knack.. i mean its 2018 not 60-70s where my father still bangs university girls  in BKK with minimum allowance from my late grandfather..5555

if i were you i would'nt mesh up with your GF,  i'm not into your GF looks for the first  and second picture. ..but the last one make me think its Bang for the Buck !  well done

Edited March 11, 2018 by NonthaburiBear

[GoDucks]

8 minutes ago, transam said:

I prefer what's between their ears.....

I tell her the same thing....

OK lets say I found a girl that looks better than you do.

Lets say I broke up with you to date her...

Is she as NICE as you?  That would take me 6 months to know, or even take a good guess at.  As compatible as we are?  Also, that takes time to know.

I am sticking with her, as long as she wants me and as long as things go well.

Edited March 11, 2018 by GoDucks

[Kadilo]

6 minutes ago, NonthaburiBear said:

some farangs still think they can get easy Thai women with money and knick knack.. i mean its 2018 not 60-70s where my father still bangs university girls  in BKK 

Your father is MaeJo........well I never!

Edited March 11, 2018 by Kadilo

[transam]

4 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

I tell her the same thing....

OK lets say I found a girl that looks better than you do.

Lets say I broke up with you to date her...

Is she as NICE as you?  That would take me 6 months to know, or even take a good guess at.  As compatible as we are?  Also, that takes time to know.

I am sticking with her, as long as she wants me and as long as things go well.

Yes it is the luck of the draw for sure, which only time will tell...Usually "tells" after the honey moon period...

[Gecko123]

1 hour ago, GoDucks said:

Well, agian, seems you know little about Thailand.

She studies in an English program.  That means the makeup of her class is 75% female, 15% gay, 9% ladyboy (way less ladyboys now as gay is more common) and 1% straight guy.

She is one of those girls who likes foreigners.  Is not a large percentage of the Thai population bit its not insignificant either.

I meant males in the student body of her school, not just in her English class. I'm sure she studies other subjects besides English.

 

Her taste in foreign guys has never been the issue. The issue is her liking a guy close to three times her age without there being any financial incentives in place. You've told us that money isn't a factor. But yet you talk about dining at fancy restaurants, vacations out of the country, a condo in downtown Bangkok. What kind of car do you drive around in, may I ask? You've told us (the TVF underclass) that you believe you're financially better off than "95% of the people on this forum", right? Are you expecting us to believe that you haven't made similar boasts about your financial status to this girl? Are we supposed to believe that these perks and intimations that there's more where that came from have played absolutely no role in her calculus to stay in the relationship?

 

And that's only what's leaked out in dribs and drabs in your more than 100 posts on this thread! Who knows what other financial incentives you've provided which you haven't bothered to tell us? That's why calling this a case study, where an accurate and unbiased account of the relationship is provided, is a total joke. You'd like us to believe that it's sheer inter-personal chemistry and (in the absence of money) just your personal charm and charisma which binds you together. A rather self-flattering premise, wouldn't you agree? You label everyone who questions the believability of your stories as "haters." But all they are saying is that your Lady and the Tramp account of your relationship just doesn't ring true to life. You've won the disprovability battle. Easy to do on an anonymous forum. But the war of credibility? I'm afraid that's been lost.

Edited March 11, 2018 by Gecko123

[simoh1490]

1 hour ago, Gecko123 said:

Case study? This is not a case study. This is one guy telling you what he wants you to know about his relationship on an anonymous internet forum.

You think it's not a case study because you have this thing about the age gap and until you can get over that it will only ever be the nasty little thing what you want it to be.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

25 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I 

 

Her taste in foreign guys has never been the issue. The issue is her liking a guy close to three times her age without there being any financial incentives in place. You've told us that money isn't a factor. But yet you talk about dining at fancy restaurants, vacations out of the country, a condo in downtown Bangkok. What kind of car do you drive around in, may I ask? You've told us (the TVF underclass) that you believe you're financially better off than "95% of the people on this forum", right? Are you expecting us to believe that you haven't made similar boasts about your financial status to this girl? Are we supposed to believe that these perks and intimations that there's more where that came from have played absolutely no role in her calculus to stay in the relationship?

 

 

 

Hmmm....some very good points here. I wonder what the inevitable comeback will be?

[MaeJoMTB]

1 hour ago, GoDucks said:

I think you know very little about Thai universities.

555 the vocational unis are where all the kids go when they are thrown out of high school at age 15, for being naughty or getting pregnant. When you read about the 'gang fights', that's where they came from. Not to mention all the girls in the beer outfits. 

[GoDucks]

53 minutes ago, Gecko123 said:

I meant males in the student body of her school, not just in her English class. I'm sure she studies other subjects besides English.

 

Her taste in foreign guys has never been the issue. The issue is her liking a guy close to three times her age without there being any financial incentives in place. You've told us that money isn't a factor. But yet you talk about dining at fancy restaurants, vacations out of the country, a condo in downtown Bangkok. What kind of car do you drive around in, may I ask? You've told us (the TVF underclass) that you believe you're financially better off than "95% of the people on this forum", right? Are you expecting us to believe that you haven't made similar boasts about your financial status to this girl? Are we supposed to believe that these perks and intimations that there's more where that came from have played absolutely no role in her calculus to stay in the relationship?

 

And that's only what's leaked out in dribs and drabs in your more than 100 posts on this thread! Who knows what other financial incentives you've provided which you haven't bothered to tell us? That's why calling this a case study, where an accurate and unbiased account of the relationship is provided, is a total joke. You'd like us to believe that it's sheer inter-personal chemistry and (in the absence of money) just your personal charm and charisma which binds you together. A rather self-flattering premise, wouldn't you agree? You label everyone who questions the believability of your stories as "haters." But all they are saying is that your Lady and the Tramp account of your relationship just doesn't ring true to life. You've won the disprovability battle. Easy to do on an anonymous forum. But the war of credibility? I'm afraid that's been lost.

Blah blah blah

Man I could not even get through your post.

Until she asks me for stuff, she has never asked me for stuff.

Right?  Or wrong?  If that day comes, I might go back and read your diatribe in detail.

LOL

[GoDucks]

24 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

555 the vocational unis are where all the kids go when they are thrown out of high school at age 15, for being naughty or getting pregnant. When you read about the 'gang fights', that's where they came from. Not to mention all the girls in the beer outfits. 

You are talking about vocational COLLEGES, not universities.  techniq (technical college) or asheewa (vocational college) in Thai 

This is a whittialai, a degree granting institution.

Man, its really better to know something about what you are talking about... Its not your fault that you do not know and probably not important to you, but if you are going to post, you should know what you are talking about.

 

[Gecko123]

2 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

Blah blah blah

Man I could not even get through your post.

Until she asks me for stuff, she has never asked me for stuff.

Right?  Or wrong?  If that day comes, I might go back and read your diatribe in detail.

LOL

Been tending this 24 page thread non-stop for days and suddenly can't read a 20 sentence post? Hmmmm.

[transam]

6 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

Blah blah blah

Man I could not even get through your post.

Until she asks me for stuff, she has never asked me for stuff.



 

Yet......

[GoDucks]

31 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

Hmmm....some very good points here. I wonder what the inevitable comeback will be?

Well she had no idea if I rented or owned this condo when we met and for a long time after.  

I think I mentioned in my first post, she never want anything from me.  She cried when I finally bought her a 495 baht dress from H&M.  Refused my 20 offers to get her a new phone until I just bought her a new one myself--this after dating for a year.  I have taken her on a few cheap Airasia backpacking trips and she insists on paying for food and souvenirs herself.  She refuses to go anywhere far (like USA) until she can pay for the ticket herself.

Like I said before, if the time ever comes when she starts actually wanting things, I will deal with it then.  For the past two years that simply has not happened.  The 37 year old wanted expensive stuff all the time.  Five star hotels, etc.  So far, that just has not happened, and we have been dating for over 2 years.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, Gecko123 said:

Been tending this 24 page thread non-stop for days and suddenly can't read a 20 sentence post? Hmmmm.

I reserve the right to ignore silly rants.

[GoDucks]

1 minute ago, transam said:

Yet......

Sure it might happen.

I can't tell the future.

But, again, if this is all about money, she is awfully patient.

[GoDucks]

And just like I reserve the right to ignore silly rants, I also reserve the right to say, if that day ever comes, "baby, its been a great x years but its time to move on".  I did ithat with my ex wife and my ex gf.  I know how its done.

[theguyfromanotherforum]

24 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

And just like I reserve the right to ignore silly rants, I also reserve the right to say, if that day ever comes, "baby, its been a great x years but its time to move on".  I did ithat with my ex wife and my ex gf.  I know how its done.

 

I'm not. I'm a whiny needy man during break up and I beg them to stay with me.

[MaeJoMTB]

43 minutes ago, GoDucks said:

You are talking about vocational COLLEGES, not universities.  techniq (technical college) or asheewa (vocational college) in Thai 

This is a whittialai, a degree granting institution.

Man, its really better to know something about what you are talking about... Its not your fault that you do not know and probably not important to you, but if you are going to post, you should know what you are talking about.

 

You need to read your own previous post. 

[GoDucks]

6 minutes ago, MaeJoMTB said:

You need to read your own previous post. 

Not really.  In Thailand both COLLEGES and UNIS can grant degrees.  FOr the colleges it depends upon the type of college they are.  If they are under OHEC they can.  They are institutes of higher education. 


But some colleges are not degree bearing institutions.  These are not under OHEC and they are the techniq and asheewa I mentioend earlier.  They are under another office... Maybe OBEC?  I cannot recall.

One reason a college is not a university is land size.  To be called a unviersity you must have 100 rai, even if both the colelge and uni offer bachelors, masters and PhD.

Again, its ok that you do not know these intricacies.  But you also should not post if you do not know.

 

Edited March 11, 2018 by GoDucks

[theguyfromanotherforum]

Fk it. I thought I had it good,  but now I have to find a 20 year old chick with a house and 50k salary to beat the OP. 

 

My wife's friends never told her I'm a "good 'un. More like what are you doing with this lazy bum

 

 

[GoDucks]

2 minutes ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

Fk it. I thought I had it good,  but now I have to find a 20 year old chick with a house and 50k salary to beat the OP. 

 

My wife's friends never told her I'm a "good 'un. More like what are you doing with this lazy bum

 

 

My ex wife used to tell everyone I was lazy, stupid, etc.  She even told everyone that all our money came from HER because she was so smart.

Oh well.  Everyone has an opinion.

Edited March 11, 2018 by GoDucks