I've got a wedding to attend next month. The Thai lady is a dear friend I've known since she was a young student. Her fiancee is British. They are both about 35 years of age. I'll be attending the wedding in BKK, and want to know what is appropriate for me to give as a gift. They didn't 'register' at any store or site. So I'm assuming the right gift might be money. But how much? And how do I present it to them? To her or to him, or to someones parents?  Any advice for me. THANKS....

2 hours ago, ehs818 said:

So I'm assuming the right gift might be money. But how much? And how do I present it to them?

Money is the right gift.

 

It's put in an envelope and at the ceremony there will be a box to drop it into, usually guarded by a family member.

Cash in an envelope, the amount up to you. I usually give 500 to 1000 baht.

I wouldn't give money at home as a wedding gift and I wouldn't do it here either (especially if it was between 500-1000 Bt. as suggested earlier and considering the groom is English) I would consider that an insult. Part of the gift when you buy it is the fact that one took the time to actually go into a store and search something suitable out. Money just seems the "lazy man's" way of giving a gift.

   I have been to 3 weddings while living in Thailand and the grooms were Farangs. I gave exactly the type of gift I would give to a couple back home, usually something for their home....cannot for the life of me see where there is a problem when this subject crops up.

  Last time I gave a mid expensive juicer. Before that a nice crystal fruit stand....forget before that.

 

Traditional Thai Wedding customary gift. 500 - 1000 THB.  Sounds cheap but, this is what they do here in the land of smiles.

The Asian culture (certainly at the weddings I have attended in Taiwan and Thailand, is for money gifts in the envelopes dropped off on arrival. These pay for the wedding party and are not intended to help them set up their home.

 

But if one party is a ferang, probably no problem in giving another wok or rice cooker to add to the four they will have already.

A troll post has been removed also one reply

2 hours ago, dotpoom said:

I wouldn't give money at home as a wedding gift and I wouldn't do it here either (especially if it was between 500-1000 Bt. as suggested earlier and considering the groom is English) I would consider that an insult. Part of the gift when you buy it is the fact that one took the time to actually go into a store and search something suitable out. Money just seems the "lazy man's" way of giving a gift.

   I have been to 3 weddings while living in Thailand and the grooms were Farangs. I gave exactly the type of gift I would give to a couple back home, usually something for their home....cannot for the life of me see where there is a problem when this subject crops up.

  Last time I gave a mid expensive juicer. Before that a nice crystal fruit stand....forget before that.

 

A fruit stand. That will have gone down well.

3 hours ago, jacko45k said:

Cash in an envelope, the amount up to you. I usually give 500 to 1000 baht.

Just arrived back from a big village wedding and did 1000 baht

You assumed correctly. 

Why not do both? You can hit the cheap end on the envelope at 500 Baht and find a gift that costs 500 baht less than you might otherwise give at home and come out the same.

36 minutes ago, PerkinsCuthbert said:

A fruit stand. That will have gone down well.

You're only supposed to eat the fruit.

$$$$$$ In a RED envelope

13 minutes ago, jerry921 said:

Why not do both? You can hit the cheap end on the envelope at 500 Baht and find a gift that costs 500 baht less than you might otherwise give at home and come out the same.

I think your suggestion is excellent.  BTW, are you the one and only Jerry Hopkins the legendary writer and journalist...???  If you are, I LOVE your books about Thailand and if I could I would shake hands and take you out to dinner.

2 minutes ago, billmichael said:

I think your suggestion is excellent.  BTW, are you the one and only Jerry Hopkins the legendary writer and journalist...???  If you are, I LOVE your books about Thailand and if I could I would shake hands and take you out to dinner.

Nope, sadly the only place I'm a legend is in my own mind.

You can buy nice oil paintings cheap

3 hours ago, Classic Ray said:

The Asian culture (certainly at the weddings I have attended in Taiwan and Thailand, is for money gifts in the envelopes dropped off on arrival. These pay for the wedding party and are not intended to help them set up their home.

 

But if one party is a ferang, probably no problem in giving another wok or rice cooker to add to the four they will have already.

Yeah l are probably wrong and yes this is the appropriate solution 

In this culture, money in the envelope you received the invitation in is the appropriate gift ("returning" the invitation), or in a red envelope. You'll see that most guests use the envelope that they receive the invitation in. If you know the people personally, you can optionally supplement it with a small, meaningful personal gift. In this case, personally meaningful is the key, not the value of the gift. If the first time you met her you gave her a teddy bear, this time give her a teddy bear with a card explaining why and a nice message for their future. There is no expectation of a physical gift beyond money.

 

The amount really depends on the social level of the people getting married, and on your level of closeness with them. 500-1000 may be ok for a village wedding for someone you barely know, but would be insulting for an upper-class wedding. In general, the money should at least cover the cost of you, the wedding guest. So if it's in a village where 350/person can hold a wedding, then that's appropriate. If it's at a Bangkok hotel where 1000/person barely covers the venue itself, then you'd best give more. And if you're considered close family, you'd best give more. Aunts/Uncles will often give 10-50x the amount that a "normal" guest gives, as a way to give the new couple a jump start financially.

 

Sam

I'm invited for a wedding too... he is from the UK, she is Thai.

 

Both of their parents are VERY wealthy, the ceremony and party is in a 5* resort... How much is appropriate in such situation?

3 hours ago, PerkinsCuthbert said:

A fruit stand. That will have gone down well.

But it was a nice crystal one!

1 hour ago, NutsMango said:

I'm invited for a wedding too... he is from the UK, she is Thai.

 

Both of their parents are VERY wealthy, the ceremony and party is in a 5* resort... How much is appropriate in such situation?

The money given should be at least a little bit more than they are spending on you, by inviting you. Roughly a 5 star resort would be THB 2500 per person. Also because the party is in 5 star, they would also be serving expensive liquor. Do the math mate.....

Edited April 20, 20188 yr by Emmess

4 hours ago, AsiaHand said:

$$$$$$ In a RED envelope

Correct, white envelope is used for funerals. 

Not scissors.

 

I always like to be the first person to give a whisky decanter, but that requires getting in early.

2 hours ago, NutsMango said:

I'm invited for a wedding too... he is from the UK, she is Thai.

 

Both of their parents are VERY wealthy, the ceremony and party is in a 5* resort... How much is appropriate in such situation?

 

500 baht, a wai, apologise to society, eat as much lobster as you can and then scarper :)

The majority of weddings I have attended here (probably about 30) have been in rural areas where money in an envelope is king. The envelopes are always of the white, airmail type, or the actual envelope that the invitation was in. Personally I have never seen a red one. That could possibly be something that is appropriate to a particular region. Certain parts of Thai culture can differ from village to village let alone province to province.
The money is usually presented to the couple after the meal. They will walk around all the tables attended by maybe two family members who collect the envelopes and in return hand out small gifts such as heart shaped key ring with the name of the couple and the date of the wedding.
Photos are normally taken at this point. The amount of money the guests give is depends of what they can realistically afford, or how close they are to the bride or groom. This could be anything from 300 baht up. This is all from my personal experiences living in and around Chaing Mai. When we got married we only received one actual wedding gift from my wife's daughter. It was a pink Tweetie Pie desktop fan. It died some years ago......


Sent from my iPad using Thaivisa Connect

5 hours ago, Emmess said:

The money given should be at least a little bit more than they are spending on you, by inviting you. Roughly a 5 star resort would be THB 2500 per person. Also because the party is in 5 star, they would also be serving expensive liquor. Do the math mate.....

Yea but at the same time I'm not a fan of spending 10k THB per night out. We are good friends, but I had to work hard for my cash. They got everything on golden plate from their parents. Non of them had actual real job in their life.

 

Obviously I don't want to look like a tight ass. At the same time it's not in Bangkok - we have to travel there. The resort is 9000 THB per night for the cheapest room and not much around = pay 9k THB for room or pay mafia level taxi charges to somewhere else. Even without the gift the expenses will be high.

1000 baht in the invitation envelope is the best idea.

I wouldn't give money at home as a wedding gift and I wouldn't do it here either (especially if it was between 500-1000 Bt. as suggested earlier and considering the groom is English) I would consider that an insult. Part of the gift when you buy it is the fact that one took the time to actually go into a store and search something suitable out. Money just seems the "lazy man's" way of giving a gift.
   I have been to 3 weddings while living in Thailand and the grooms were Farangs. I gave exactly the type of gift I would give to a couple back home, usually something for their home....cannot for the life of me see where there is a problem when this subject crops up.
  Last time I gave a mid expensive juicer. Before that a nice crystal fruit stand....forget before that.
 

How about adapting to Thai culture? Sad.

3,000 - 5,000 baht for these types of weddings depending on how well you know the people.

On 4/19/2018 at 4:03 PM, LongTimeLurker said:

Money is the right gift.

 

It's put in an envelope and at the ceremony there will be a box to drop it into, usually guarded by a family member.

Money is not a gift as such, it is a donation towards expenses and standard practice at all Thai functions and the amount can vary according to the circumstances. It would be normal to give more for a function in a hotel as opposed to one held in the home.

 

It is also fairly common to give normal type gifts at a wedding as well as the money, but normally only close family and friends. When I got married we got various items including hamper baskets, photo albums, a wall clock  and 2 floor standing fans.( the Thai answer to a kettle/toaster.)