On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:

"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." !

My long-passed grandfather's birthday is coming up, and for me it is a time to reminisce. The long walks we used to take. The long drives, the special trips he would make to pick me up so I could spend weekends with him, and the advice he used to give!

Much was wasted because I was young when he died. If he were alive today and sharing his pearls of wisdom, I'd be a better man.

Those gems were well and good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandfatherly advice, came when I was only 12.

We were sitting in a park, watching children and their mothers enjoying a beautiful spring day. He told me that one day, I'd find a woman and start my own

family.

"And son," he said, "be sure you marry a woman with small hands."

"How come, Grandpa?" I asked.

It makes your pecker look bigger."

Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

small hands, a classic