Advertising

What the advert said versus what it really means

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needs minor work = needs significant work

needs nothing = except a tow truck

easy project car = completely disassembled, bring many boxes

minor rust = don't sit down!

minor rust = major rust you can’t see...

low mileage = only 170,000

convertible = after driving under truck

runs great = too bad it doesn’t roll

alarm = wires are cut to sell stolen

nice stereo = to overcome exhaust noise

needs paint = to cover rust

new paint = beautifully covers rust

fully loaded = seller is too

all options = 8-track player

only 59,000 miles = actually 359,000 miles

rare model = one of 500,000 made

must sell = before the law finds seller

must sell = need bail money

summer fun = roof leaks in winter

summer fun = won't make it to fall

reliable = don't leave the neighborhood

daily driver = 400 miles a day

only driven Sundays = Sunday is race day

engine rebuilt = engine degreased to look it

doesn’t smoke = no oil to burn, or 90wt oil

trans. rebuilt = fine sawdust used to make it quiet

4 speed gearbox = 5th gear is dead

hurry, won't last = neither will car

new tires = retreads years ago

well maintained = oil changed every other leap year

drives like dream = nightmare

car cover = to help keep out rats

always garaged = embarrassed to leave it outside

family owned = driven by 6 teenagers

fully restored = nothing original

smog exempt = DMV doesn't think so

tags till next year = stolen year sticker

moving, must sell = off to jail, need bail money