Lesson Finally Learned

[car720]

3 hours ago, Kwasaki said:

Some may agree with you that's life a game and for OP whose been here for 16 years frankly I find it a sad attitude, kind of living a life like that.

I've got kids and grandkids from my relationships and no regrets, well too few to mention. ?

It is called generalizing.  If you put 10 smokers in a room and only one of them uses the ashtray then it is safe enough to generalize and say that most smokers will ash on the floor.  

[Snow Leopard]

1 hour ago, OneMoreFarang said:

35+ should be happy if anybody wants to marry them.

 

Personally I prefer a sexy 18 year old who tells me I am a hansom man compared to an old woman who tells me the same lie. The difference is the old woman told that lie probably already to thousand other guys. And there are other things she probably did with 1,000 other guys...

 

Horses for courses as always mate... Me personally though i never did like and i still dont like doing homework.

[OneMoreFarang]

14 minutes ago, Snow Leopard said:

 

Horses for courses as always mate... Me personally though i never did like and i still dont like doing homework.

Homework like:

Tilac, should I really do this?

Yes, baby, this is the way to do this. I will explain to you all the details.

Thank you tilac, you are such a good teacher.

[KhaoYai]

6 hours ago, watcharacters said:

 

Assuming this implies ownership, there's the proof foreigners can own a house in  Thailand.

Not according to the law but I'm happy that its tied up as tight as it possibly can be. Let's put it this way, if the registered owner wanted to try and sell it, they would have to pay almost as much as its worth to do so.

[thedivezone]

On 8/7/2018 at 10:50 AM, NoMeAmes said:

he probably thinks "my wife is different"

The German or the US president ?

[gaff]

12 hours ago, KhaoYai said:

Old fashioned?  Well you don't elaborate on what the 'new fashion' but based on your last comment about banging your stepfather let me guess?  Everyone sh*gs who they want right?

 

When I'm in a committed relationship and as a couple, we decide to get married, I make it very clear to my partner what I expect from that relationship - I expect her to spell out what she wants too.  I can tell you now that if it had been me playing around, my ex would have gone crazy - she was even jealous of female Thai friends that I'd had for years before I knew her. So I think its fairly clear that me playing around was not acceptable...........it later turned out it was OK for her though.  I've even had it said to me - by the girl who's father was dating the German's wife "this is going to sound very selfish, I want to see other people but you can't".........yeah right!!

 

So back to my 'old fashioned' ways of expecting my wife to be faithfull.........I worked away for 8 week stints and returned home to Thailand for 2 weeks.  I paid the bills, bought the car, paid the insurance, paid for her mother's eye operation. etc. etc. etc. Damned right I expect a faithfull wife.  I didn't get married to have my wife sh*gging every Tom, Dick and Harry just because maybe she's a bit lonely, horny or whatever!

 

So what's the modern way then - seeing as I'm so old fashioned?  Work your guts out, pay the bills, buy the car, pay for the insurance etc. and both sh*g whoever you want?  Is that the modern way? Naaa, its the stupid way...............if you want to play around all the time, why bother even being in a relationship? Why not be footloose and fancy free as I am now? What's the bloody point? Is it just that you want the security of having someone at home you can call your partner to make you feel better?

 

I've heard this all before - so called modern, new age people - well let me tell you something, I'm not old fashioned at all - infidelity is still the biggest cause of all divorces by a country mile so its clearly not acceptable to many people. If I'm old fashioned then most of the world is too.

 

If you knew how many married women I banged !!! Married to Thai and foreigners, but latter my fav, less chance to have problems when knowing that kind of idiots are many of them !

 

Yes you are old fashioned to believe in any faithful relationship, it's so ridiculous in 2018.

 

 

[from the home of CC]

20 hours ago, smotherb said:

That pretty much disrespects that man's wife. Do you even know them?

If having some class was  a prerequisite in posting here TVF would be  shutdown from lack of ad revenue.

[KhaoYai]

50 minutes ago, gaff said:

 

If you knew how many married women I banged !!! Married to Thai and foreigners, but latter my fav, less chance to have problems when knowing that kind of idiots are many of them !

 

Yes you are old fashioned to believe in any faithful relationship, it's so ridiculous in 2018.

 

 

You're such a stud...........................but I suspect a liar and a failure.

[hellohello123]

3 hours ago, from the home of CC said:

Hello, is this you basing this upon your own experiences? If you had relationship (s) that went south maybe you weren't thinking enough with your big head. I admit I was very lucky to find someone to spend the rest of my days with (15 yrs and counting). She was a PR in Canada (where we married) for a while so she's gotten a good handle of where I'm coming from. And I spent 3 years in her small village running a store so I got an inkling of what influenced her when she grew up. We both worked hard in keeping it going (though it wasn't that tough) and it payed off with a lot of mutual love and respect, ol' school I guess you'd call it. Good luck to you Sir.

Settle down my friend, it's a  half tongue and cheek comment! 

[hellohello123]

56 minutes ago, gaff said:

 

If you knew how many married women I banged !!! Married to Thai and foreigners, but latter my fav, less chance to have problems when knowing that kind of idiots are many of them !

 

Yes you are old fashioned to believe in any faithful relationship, it's so ridiculous in 2018.

 

 

Let me guess. The chances of that happening back home are zilch to nil to nadda! 

[smotherb]

1 hour ago, from the home of CC said:

If having some class was  a prerequisite in posting here TVF would be  shutdown from lack of ad revenue.

Not talking about class; talking about disrespecting a man's wife. You think you need need class to know that is wrong, especially when you do not even know them? 

[from the home of CC]

48 minutes ago, smotherb said:

Not talking about class; talking about disrespecting a man's wife. You think you need need class to know that is wrong, especially when you do not even know them? 

yea, having the class not to cross certain boundaries (even if you are an anonymous web warrior} Anyways he said he was only jivin' me so I'll leave it at that.   

[NoMeAmes]

10 hours ago, Berkshire said:

But if you marry someone and she's playing the long game with a BF on the side, then that's true evil.  No excusing that.   

 

 

1

And that's the difference I'm talking about. That's the kind of lies that comes in question in this matter. Not the "oh Grandma, I love this sweater!" kind of lie. You see, you think it's simply evil. I do too. It's actively deceiving someone, knowing they are hurting someone else's feelings, in order to get personal gain. If I were the Thai boyfriend, I would totally dump the girl for being that sort of "bad" person. For Thais, this is not necessarily something evil. It's proven by how many boyfriends or husbands are ok with their wives having farang gik's, as long as they also get to enjoy the money the whores (yes, this is what I think of women who pretend to be in love for money, no other word is suitable) get from the farang men.

[katatonic]

On 8/7/2018 at 4:00 PM, oldrunner said:

Berkshire sure sounds British so leave President Trump out of your limited mental capability.

I'm sure you think it's all the truth, the whole truth and nothing but! By the way, how does Hathaway sound to you?

[NoMeAmes]

3 hours ago, thedivezone said:

The German or the US president ?

the German. 

[Gecko123]

12 hours ago, NoMeAmes said:

And that's the difference I'm talking about. That's the kind of lies that comes in question in this matter. Not the "oh Grandma, I love this sweater!" kind of lie. You see, you think it's simply evil. I do too. It's actively deceiving someone, knowing they are hurting someone else's feelings, in order to get personal gain. If I were the Thai boyfriend, I would totally dump the girl for being that sort of "bad" person. For Thais, this is not necessarily something evil. It's proven by how many boyfriends or husbands are ok with their wives having farang gik's, as long as they also get to enjoy the money the whores (yes, this is what I think of women who pretend to be in love for money, no other word is suitable) get from the farang men.

Yes, it offends every Western sensibility and expectation about how a spouse should behave, but I'm not prepared to label this behavior as "evil." Some Thais do have a disturbing willingness to dehumanize foreigners, sometimes as a rationale for taking advantage of them. Entering into a marriage under false pretenses for monetary gain is certainly an example of this behavior.

 

But consider the following. A foreign guy appearing out of the blue, promising to rescue a woman from grinding poverty, in many cases is the one and only chance that Thai woman (or in some cases Thai man) may have to financially get ahead in life. Not excusing the behavior, but I do ask myself were I in the exact same situation, would I not be tempted to do the exact same thing?

 

I also ask myself how different is it for a woman to use sexual favors as a lure for obtaining financial gain than for a man to use financial gain as a lure for obtaining sexual favors?  'See my house, my yacht, my Ferrari, babe? All this could be yours if we go to bed together.' And if she gets dumped after sleeping with him? Bitter resentment for sure, right? Seems to me that this is just a case of the shoe being on the other foot. I know what you're going to say: 'dating is one thing, but marriage is a sacred vow.' I hear you, I feel the same way, but just because a Thai woman doesn't share your values about the sanctity of marriage doesn't necessarily make her evil.

 

I agree the seeming willingness of Thai people to go along with another Thai taking advantage of a foreigner for financial gain can be deeply disturbing. I believe there is a tendency for Thais to rationalize such exploitation on the basis of 'farang-have-money-not big-problem-if-steal-from-him.' Thais do have a fairly deep tribal streak which makes them stick and band together against outsiders when a 'us-vs-them' choice arises. Not saying basic decency and a sense of right and wrong never overrides it. I also think that for many Thais they think that if it's blindingly obvious that someone's being taken advantage of, and someone is foolish enough to refuse to see reality, then they probably deserve to be taken advantage, or need to learn a lesson. Or they don't want to risk antagonizing the person doing the exploiting. When you spot a foreign guy with a Thai woman, and immediately think, 'she's taking him for a ride', you don't pull him aside and warn him, do you? Well, Thais have the same 'don't want to get involved, not my job' mentality. As far as this notion that there are legions of Thai boyfriends and husbands willing to let their girlfriends and wives have foreign boyfriends or husbands, in my opinion, you are grossly exaggerating the frequency which this happens. A handful of well-publicized cases (and TVF legends) do not make a pattern.

 

Cliff notes version of what I'm saying: You are only going to harden your heart and develop a hatred for Thai women if you start seeing them as 'evil.' If you're going to play in the playground, better to identify what is driving the behavior, learn the rules of the game, spot the warning signs, take the necessary precautions. Deciding you don't want to play in the playground is a completely sensible option as well. But labeling people as evil is probably only going to make you bitter and not going to improve your interactions.

 

 

Edited August 9, 2018 by Gecko123

[earlinclaifornia]

On 8/7/2018 at 3:00 PM, oldrunner said:

Berkshire sure sounds British so leave President Trump out of your limited mental capability.

And just why should he leave out Trump when referring to a man who lies 7.6 times a day?? I applaud any critic of that miserable President.

[hellohello123]

3 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Yes, it offends every Western sensibility and expectation about how a spouse should behave, but I'm not prepared to label this behavior as "evil." Some Thais do have a disturbing willingness to dehumanize foreigners, sometimes as a rationale for taking advantage of them. Entering into a marriage under false pretenses for monetary gain is certainly an example of this behavior.

 

But consider the following. A foreign guy appearing out of the blue, promising to rescue a woman from grinding poverty, in many cases is the one and only chance that Thai woman (or in some cases Thai man) may have to financially get ahead in life. Not excusing the behavior, but I do ask myself were I in the exact same situation, would I not be tempted to do the exact same thing?

 

I also ask myself how different is it for a woman to use sexual favors as a lure for obtaining financial gain than for a man to use financial gain as a lure for obtaining sexual favors?  'See my house, my yacht, my Ferrari, babe? All this could be yours if we go to bed together.' And if she gets dumped after sleeping with him? Bitter resentment for sure, right? Seems to me that this is just a case of the shoe being on the other foot. I know what you're going to say: 'dating is one thing, but marriage is a sacred vow.' I hear you, I feel the same way, but just because a Thai woman doesn't share your values about the sanctity of marriage doesn't necessarily make her evil.

 

I agree the seeming willingness of Thai people to go along with another Thai taking advantage of a foreigner for financial gain can be deeply disturbing. I believe there is a tendency for Thais to rationalize such exploitation on the basis of 'farang-have-money-not big-problem-if-steal-from-him.' Thais do have a fairly deep tribal streak which makes them stick and band together against outsiders when a 'us-vs-them' choice arises. Not saying basic decency and a sense of right and wrong never overrides it. I also think that for many Thais they think that if it's blindingly obvious that someone's being taken advantage of, and someone is foolish enough to refuse to see reality, then they probably deserve to be taken advantage, or need to learn a lesson. Or they don't want to risk antagonizing the person doing the exploiting. When you spot a foreign guy with a Thai woman, and immediately think, 'she's taking him for a ride', you don't pull him aside and warn him, do you? Well, Thais have the same 'don't want to get involved, not my job' mentality. As far as this notion that there are legions of Thai boyfriends and husbands willing to let their girlfriends and wives have foreign boyfriends or husbands, in my opinion, you are grossly exaggerating the frequency which this happens. A handful of well-publicized cases (and TVF legends) do not make a pattern.

 

Cliff notes version of what I'm saying: You are only going to harden your heart and develop a hatred for Thai women if you start seeing them as 'evil.' If you're going to play in the playground, better to identify what is driving the behavior, learn the rules of the game, spot the warning signs, take the necessary precautions. Deciding you don't want to play in the playground is a completely sensible option as well. But labeling people as evil is probably only going to make you bitter and not going to improve your interactions.

 

 

I've met many poor folk in country towns who are completely content with life and are the most honest and kind people ever. They have enough to eat with country comforts. 

So why do other people. In similar situations deserve better. 

 

 

A billionaire would say we are poverty stricken. 

You look up you will see millions of people better off than you, you look down, same deal

 

Shit behaviour is shit behaviour, and any justification is just an excuse. 

 

Just like when there is a hooker saying how tough life is and that's the only job she can do, yet there is a 7-11 next door with the staff getting paid peanuts but still working hard and doing a respectable job

[NoMeAmes]

12 hours ago, Gecko123 said:

Cliff notes version of what I'm saying: You are only going to harden your heart and develop a hatred for Thai women if you start seeing them as 'evil.' If you're going to play in the playground, better to identify what is driving the behavior, learn the rules of the game, spot the warning signs, take the necessary precautions. Deciding you don't want to play in the playground is a completely sensible option as well. But labeling people as evil is probably only going to make you bitter and not going to improve your interactions.

 

 

 

When have I ever said that I want to play in the playground? And when have I ever said that I'm a white male? Funny how it is a typical behavior of TVF posters to just assume things... And who says I want to improve my interactions with Thai women - or Thai men? Don't assume anything. 

[NoMeAmes]

8 hours ago, hellohello123 said:

I've met many poor folk in country towns who are completely content with life and are the most honest and kind people ever. They have enough to eat with country comforts. 

So why do other people. In similar situations deserve better. 

 

 

A billionaire would say we are poverty stricken. 

You look up you will see millions of people better off than you, you look down, same deal

 

Shit behaviour is shit behaviour, and any justification is just an excuse. 

 

Just like when there is a hooker saying how tough life is and that's the only job she can do, yet there is a 7-11 next door with the staff getting paid peanuts but still working hard and doing a respectable job

Exactly. This is why I WILL judge shamelessly people who trade sex for money. It is black and white for me. Sure life is tough. "Das Leben ist kein Ponyhof", says the Germans. But instead of working hard, some people choose to take the easy way out and chase money. This money-oriented mindset is what leads them to selling their dignity, their self-respect, even their morality. And that's just disgusting. I bet you, if you ask 20 bar girls, and 20 fruit sellers on the street, what kind of living situation they come from, they will give you a similar answer. Some just won't sell themselves for money and would rather do hard, but respectable work. Some just choose to dehumanize themselves and sell themselves like cheap carpets on discount. 

[bermannor]

57 minutes ago, NoMeAmes said:

Exactly. This is why I WILL judge shamelessly people who trade sex for money. It is black and white for me. Sure life is tough. "Das Leben ist kein Ponyhof", says the Germans. But instead of working hard, some people choose to take the easy way out and chase money. This money-oriented mindset is what leads them to selling their dignity, their self-respect, even their morality. And that's just disgusting. I bet you, if you ask 20 bar girls, and 20 fruit sellers on the street, what kind of living situation they come from, they will give you a similar answer. Some just won't sell themselves for money and would rather do hard, but respectable work. Some just choose to dehumanize themselves and sell themselves like cheap carpets on discount. 

What is the oldest profession on earth?

[StreetCowboy]

20 minutes ago, bermannor said:

What is the oldest profession on earth?

Judge. Everyone’s a judge

[NoMeAmes]

2 hours ago, bermannor said:

What is the oldest profession on earth?

the one that requires nothing else than your holes. 

[5633572526]

On 8/7/2018 at 2:50 PM, Ketyo said:

One aspect that is more common in Thailand than many Western countries, I reckon, is that there is a higher frequency of bare faced lies and a higher acceptance that people lie to get on in life. This is often done to save face, to protect personal relatiomships, or to avoid conflict. It may seem wierd to people who assume most people are honest most of the time. It can come as a surprise to westerners since Thai people are often polite, personable and sociable. Whereas in the west, known big time liars are often ostracised....but of course not always...

Unfortunately the culture of saving face makes it absolutely acceptable to lie in order to do that. 

[pennine]

On 8/7/2018 at 1:57 PM, phitsanulokjohn said:

That man's my Brother.

How many times have I heard that old chestnut?

and by all accounts still doing the rounds most successfully.

Don't be silly honey, he's gay.

Another old chestnut.

[pennine]

On 8/7/2018 at 3:54 PM, Pilotman said:

Ha ha, good luck finding one of those mate.  They dont exist.  All Thai girls and older woman know about the Farang game.  The vast majority know someone married to one,  or were married to one,  or knows someone who knows someone who has a story about one. 

 

On your second point about successful  mixed relationships, absolutely right, probably more than ones that fail, they just don' t write about it on forums.   

True. Trains which arrive on time are not news.

[pennine]

On 8/7/2018 at 3:54 PM, Pilotman said:

Ha ha, good luck finding one of those mate.  They dont exist.  All Thai girls and older woman know about the Farang game.  The vast majority know someone married to one,  or were married to one,  or knows someone who knows someone who has a story about one. 

 

On your second point about successful  mixed relationships, absolutely right, probably more than ones that fail, they just don' t write about it on forums.   

True. Trains which arrive on time are not news.

[KhaoYai]

14 hours ago, pennine said:

Don't be silly honey, he's gay.

Another old chestnut.

Yep, had that one too.