A Beer Before It Starts

[PhilHarries]

A man came home from work, sat in his favourite chair, turns on the TV and says to his wife "Quick bring me a beer before it starts".

She looked a little puzzled but brought him a beer.

Whe he finished it he said "Quick bring me another beer it's gonna start".

This time she looked a little angry but brought him a beer.

When it was gone he said "Quick get me another beer before it starts".

"That's it" she blows her top "You lazy b@st@rd. You waltz in here flop your fat ar5e down, don't even say hello to me and then expect me to run around like I am your slave getting you beer after beer. Don't you realise that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long?"

The husband sighs and says "Oh sh1t, it's started".

[farangsay]

I thought this was going to be one I heard 30 years ago.

Guy walks into a bar and says to the barman

"Quick , gissa pint before the trouble starts."

Barman pours him a pint , guy chugs it in one ,

slaps the glass on the bar and says

"Quick , another one before it starts."

Barman refills the glass , looking puzzled

and says "What's this trouble then?"

"I haven't got any money." the guy says.