Worst Joke Ever 2024

[chickenslegs]

16 hours ago, overherebc said:

 

14 hours ago, bobandyson said:

ahh.....the old sign meme again and at the same time of year. Takes me a few seconds longer each year to get it though.

Most things take langer as we get aulder.

[ravip]

 

[dcsw53]

[roo860]

Ya never go back.

[WorriedNoodle]

[tomazbodner]

9 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

 

Most things take langer as we get aulder.

I must be prehistoric. Still don't get it.

[WorriedNoodle]

[chickenslegs]

4 hours ago, tomazbodner said:

I must be prehistoric. Still don't get it.

Auld Lang Syne (sign)

[ballpoint]

Due to NHS receptionists going on strike, patients are now able to see doctors.

[ballpoint]

I accidently sent an embarrassing picture of myself to everyone in my address book.

Not only was it mortifying, it cost me a fortune in stamps.

[ballpoint]

I asked this nice girl a question the other day.
She was a pretty young thing, and gave me a pleasant smile.

I asked her if six inches satisfies?
She grimaced and pondered, shifting her weight from foot to foot as if balancing the question and finally replied "no not really".
So I ordered the ten inch pizza instead.

[ballpoint]

I'm having trouble getting into my computer...
Enter Password: "FootLoose" ...
Wrong, Try again: "DangerZone" ...
Wrong, you are locked out!

You are only allowed 2 incorrect Loggins.

[ballpoint]

I’ve always had an irrational fear of speed bumps,

but I'm slowly getting over them.

[ballpoint]

My car wouldn't start this morning.
I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine block.
He said: "Good day to you Sir! And might I remark how splendid you look today?"
I knew the problem straight away.

Bat flattery

[ballpoint]

Just had the worst day today.

I paid a carpenter to build us a bespoke double bed and found out he’s done a bunk.

It’s just one thing on top of another…

[ballpoint]

I bought my local MP a get better soon card.

He's not sick. I just think he can do better.

[GarryP]

2 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Auld Lang Syne (sign)

I need a groan emoji. 

[ravip]

[roo860]

[Crossy]

5 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

Auld Lang Syne (sign)

 

I admit it took me a bit longer than it should have to realise it was an "Old Lang Sign"

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

"Army to fill in for striking health workers."

 

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]