Worst Joke Ever 2024

[tomazbodner]

7 hours break in jokes posting. Hoping to find more in the morning now that site is back up...

Edited March 20 by tomazbodner

[tomazbodner]

[chickenslegs]

On 3/17/2024 at 9:45 AM, ballpoint said:

It's the same photo, just reversed ...

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

9 hours ago, chickenslegs said:

It's the same photo, just reversed ...

 

That's the B side.

[ballpoint]

[Crossy]

Yesterday, Mary’s husband Jim thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen.

 

So, naturally, Jim sprayed everything down very carefully and then cleaned the entire kitchen thoroughly from wall to wall and floor to ceiling.

 

Absolutely nothing escaped his cleaning regime.

When he’d finished the kitchen sparkled like new.

 

Today, Mary put the cockroach in the bathroom.

[Zyxel]

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an

animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at

first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say

the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come

once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee

twice. Then I come one lasta time.

"You foul-mouthed swine" retorted the lady indignantly.

"In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex?

I'm a justa tellin' my friend how to spell a 'Mississippi'."

[Zyxel]

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[Crossy]

[ballpoint]

Time flies:

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

I ordered a beer on my last business trip and the lovely waitress asked for my ID.

Feeling flattered, I asked if she really thought I was that young.

"No", she replied "I was just checking to see if you qualified for the Senior Citizens Discount".

[Crossy]

A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that

no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play."

 

The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old

guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and

starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks.

 

The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens

up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy

hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner.

 

The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back,

coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm.

He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can

play that I'll give you a hundred dollars."

 

The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over,

and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus'

owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up

and play the damn thing!"

 

The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's

pyjamas off, I'm gonna shag it! "

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

[dcsw53]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[roo860]

[still kicking]

[still kicking]

[scottiejohn]

18 minutes ago, roo860 said:

A bit pugnacious of you I thought!

So I think you you should be sent off to the dog house!

 

 

 

Edited March 21 by scottiejohn

[jvs]

8 hours ago, roo860 said:

I always smell the cucumbers before i decide to eat them but cucumber and tuna on a sandwich

tastes alright to me.