Worst Joke Ever 2024

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Bono and the Edge walk into a pub.
The barman looks up and says: “For goodness sake’s, not U2 again!”
 

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A bloke was telling Paddy how nature sometimes compensates for a person's deficiences.

"For example", he told him, "if someone is deaf, they may have keener sight, or if a person is blind, they may have a very keen sense of smell".

"I think I see what you mean", said Paddy, "I've often noticed that if a fella has one short leg, then the other one is always a bit longer".

[ballpoint]

We all know where the Big Apple is,

but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

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If anybody wants a list of every famous Bugs Bunny quote,

I can send it to you as a WhatsApp doc.

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I need someone to help me sort out the terrible condensation problem in my kitchen...

Pop round anytime. The kettle's always on.

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Why did Billy the kid smell of coconut?

He had a bounty on his head.

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I popped into the library today and asked if they had any books on turtles.

The librarian said "hard backs?"

I said "yes, and little heads".

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I lost all the fingers on my right hand in an accident and asked the doctor If I would still be able to write with it.

He replied "Probably, but I wouldn't count on it"

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Whenever my wife is upset, I let her colour in my tattoos.

She just needs a shoulder to crayon.

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A friend is taking part in a social experiment... He is wearing a "I'm Backing Boris" T-shirt for 2 weeks to see how people react.

So far he’s been spat on, punched and had a bottle thrown at him.

I’m curious to see what happens when he goes outside.

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