scottiejohn Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 A parishioner who only attends church on holidays is leaving church after Easter mass. The preacher is standing at the door to shake hands. He grabs the parishioner by the hand and pulls him aside. "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" the pastor tells the parishioner. The parishioner replies, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, pastor." The pastor questions, "Then how come I don't see you in church except at Christmas and Easter?" The parishioner whispers, "I'm in the secret service." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 On the first day of Hanukkah, a grandmother is giving her grandson directions to her new apartment. He is coming to visit with his new wife. "You come to the front door of the condominium complex. I am in apartment 2B. There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 2B. I'll buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Hit the up button with your elbow, get in, and with your other elbow hit the number two. When you exit the elevator, I'm the second door on the right. Ring my doorbell with your elbow and I'll let you in." "Grandma, that sounds easy," replies the grandson. "But why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?" His grandmother answers, "You're coming to visit empty-handed?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 5 hours ago, scottiejohn said: That's quite amoosing. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted October 17, 2019 Share Posted October 17, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedNoodle Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VocalNeal Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 10 hours ago, chickenslegs said: That's quite amoosing. Just washing his cock in the bison 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 An office manager is interviewing an applicant. He asks the woman if she has any unusual talents. She says she'd actually won a few national crossword puzzle contests. "Sounds good," the office manager replies, "but we want someone who will be just as intelligent during office hours." "Oh," says the applicant. "That's good because that's when I do most of my puzzles." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 A man goes on a job interview. The interviewer tells him that they are looking to hire someone who is responsible. "Well, I'm your man," the applicant replies. "At my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 18, 2019 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 A man is begging a judge to let him off jury duty because of his job. "I'm sure your company can get along fine without you for a few days," the judge tells the man. "I know," the man answers. "But that's what I'm trying to prevent them from figuring out." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted October 18, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 18, 2019 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheryl Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 It took me a lot longer than I will admit to [emoji846] That's because you aren't a woman.I got it instantly [emoji57]Sent from my SM-J701F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fasteddie Posted October 18, 2019 Share Posted October 18, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post chickenslegs Posted October 18, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 18, 2019 Well, some messages are more popular than others ... 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenslegs Posted October 19, 2019 Share Posted October 19, 2019 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Seth1a2a Posted October 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2019 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Can't we just wait till at least after Halloween b4 the Xmas stuff! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 1 hour ago, scottiejohn said: 5 hours ago, Seth1a2a said: Can't we just wait till at least after Halloween b4 the Xmas stuff! I think that this year Halloween will be really scary in the UK and possibly the EU as well. Kids will be wearing masks of Boris, Teresa May, Junker, Tusk and Nigel. Later in the dark of the night there may be visits to, and disappearances from, some MPs houses 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seth1a2a Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 1 hour ago, scottiejohn said: Can't we just wait till at least after Halloween b4 the Xmas stuff! I'm just "warming up" for now .....more to come later.......In the meantime here's a seasonal post to kick off the Halloween spirit....... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post scottiejohn Posted October 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2019 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 (edited) Unless you are well covered that is Edited October 20, 2019 by scottiejohn 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottiejohn Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 It’s true !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Andrew Dwyer Posted October 20, 2019 Popular Post Share Posted October 20, 2019 Yup, that would be a khrap day !! 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 Here’s some excellent advice !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Dwyer Posted October 20, 2019 Share Posted October 20, 2019 If you’re really quick you can still save it !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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