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Posted

Frank walks into the office and sees John at work...

John, my man, what are you doing here? I thought it is your mother-in-law's funeral today?!

Yeah, it is... but you know... work first, party later!

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Posted

Woman is standing in front of mirror.... Geez, I'm so fat! And look at all these wrinkles! I look so old! Dear, please say something nice to console me...

Husband: You have excellent eye sight, darling...

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Posted

2 girlfriends talking and one asks the other: I've heard you married a boxer. What's he like?

Ummm.... difficult to describe. He looks different after each match...

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Posted

A man is making rounds giving Easter greetings to his neighbour when he gets to the last one... When the door opens, he puts on a grin and says: I wish you all the same as you wish for me!

Angrily, neighbour blurts: How dare you!

Posted

Policeman stops a car that was obviously speeding...

Good evening, Sir, says the policeman. I was waiting for you all day!

I know! answers the driver. I came as quickly as I could!

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Posted

John is telling his colleague that his wife ran away with his best friend Frank.

Colleague: as far as I know, Frank was never even your friend, let alone best friend...

John: Maybe not then, but he is now!

  • Like 2
Posted

Wife calls husband and starts yelling: Where the **** are you?!!

Husband: Dear, do you remember that gold shop where you just loved that diamond necklace and for which I told you that one day it will be yours?

Wife melts down: I'm so sorry, dear... Of course I remember...

Husband: Well, I'm at the pub across the road!

  • Haha 1

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