Worst Joke Ever 2024

[fangless]

[fangless]

[ravip]

A penguins car breaks down...

Okay so this penguins car breaks down in an area he's unfamiliar with.

Penguin gets his car towed to the nearest shop. He asks the mechanic how long it should take. The mechanic says probably a few hours. The penguin asks if there's anything around he can do while he waits.

Now, this is a pretty dinky town so the mechanic says all there is to do is go to an ice cream shop around the corner.

 

The penguin goes to the ice cream parlour and orders the vanilla ice cream. Penguins don't have hands so he pecks at it till it's gone and it gets a little messy.

 

When he finishes he heads back to the mechanics shop. He asks what was wrong with the car.

The mechanic goes: well, it looks like you blew a seal.

 

The penguin goes: no, that's just ice cream.

[sanuk711]

Didn't get the job . . .

[ravip]

He knows how to do it...

A man walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money next to a horse stall. The man goes over to the bartender and asks what the set up is for.

 

"You pay five bucks to go into the stall where the horse is, and if you can make the horse laugh, you win all the money in the jar.

 

"Easy" the man says. He puts five dollars in the jar, walks up to the horse, whispers in his ear, and the horse starts cracking up. The man takes the money and leaves.

 

A week later, the man goes back to the bar, where they have the same set up.

"Same bet?" The man asks.

"No, this time you have to make the horse cry"

"Even easier" the man says. So he puts five bucks in the jar, walks up to the horse, and the horse starts crying.

 

The man is about to take the money and run, but the bartender stops him.

"OK, first, how'd you get the horse to laugh?"

 

And the man says "I told him I had a bigger d1ck than he did."

"And how'd you get the horse to cry?" The bartender asks.

 

"I showed him."

[fangless]

 

 

[roo860]

[roo860]

[fangless]

19 minutes ago, roo860 said:

That is so corny!

[fangless]

21 minutes ago, roo860 said:

I chose February 29, 30 and 31 of this year!

[roo860]

58 minutes ago, fangless said:

That is so corny!

So's that.

[roo860]

[sanuk711]

[fangless]

1 hour ago, roo860 said:

So's that.

Another corny joke!

[roo860]

[fasteddie]

[sanuk711]

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[sanuk711]

Anatidaephobia Rules !

[sanuk711]

Two  Mem's I posted on there---& I had to go and look up what the words meant ..... 1/ Cottaging =  The French explain it better * Bum Sex

2/ Anatidaephobia...=.. is the fear that at any point, somewhere in the world, a duck or goose may be watching You........ * How do you even get a phobia like that.

 

I don't know if I am a complete Thicko....or these Mems are just getting to high brow for me.

[sanuk711]

6 hours ago, roo860 said:

Wish I could give you two votes........but definitely post of the week.............very funny.

[fangless]

26 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

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What a bummer!  I'm not going cruising with P&O again.

[Peter Denis]

2 hours ago, sanuk711 said:

...

Anatidaephobia...=.. is the fear that at any point, somewhere in the world, a duck or goose may be watching You........ * How do you even get a phobia like that.

...

[ballpoint]

On 1/19/2021 at 5:52 PM, Crossy said:

 

Anyone know who the player is??

 

It's the albino Chinese player. Won Hung Low.

[ballpoint]

A little, silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a very difficult jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbour asks, “What's it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The little lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster.”

Her neighbour decides to go over and help her with the puzzle. When he arrives, the old lady shows him the puzzle spread out all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says:

“First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.” Then he takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then...” and he says this with a deep sigh...

“Let’s put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."