Worst Joke Ever 2024

[bluesofa]

1 minute ago, fangless said:

You can't be dishelextrix ro ouy  would have speltit rite!

I had one of those slot car/racing sets when I was a kid.

[Peter Denis]

4 minutes ago, fangless said:

You can't be dishelextrix ro ouy  would have speltit rite!

Time for the Dyslexorcist!

 

[stuarty]

6 hours ago, tifino said:

There are 3 guys... 

 

 

But if the boat becomes a cigarette lighter it will no longer be a boat and they will potentially drown.  Which is a quicker death than lung cancer anyway

 

[fangless]

10 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

I had one of those slot car/racing sets when I was a kid.

Show-off! I only had two lanes, but mine had banking and a switch/jump-over!

[fangless]

9 minutes ago, stuarty said:

But if the boat becomes a cigarette lighter it will no longer be a boat and they will potentially drown.  Which is a quicker death than lung cancer anyway

lighten up!

????

 

PS; A lighter is a form of transport at sea; 

[bluesofa]

14 minutes ago, fangless said:

lighten up!

????

 

PS; A lighter is a form of transport at sea; 

No schooner said than done:

[fangless]

????

14 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

No schooner said than done:

And I thought you wanted to light up my life!

You are (NOT!) sailing close to the wind with this so stop flaming me or I will light up your life; remember there is no smoke without fire.

Now on a lighter side, lets sink this!

 

????‍♀️????????

????

 

 

[bluesofa]

5 minutes ago, fangless said:

????

You are sailing close to the wind with this so stop flaming me or I will light up your life; remember there is no smoke without fire.

Now on a lighter side, lets sink this!

 

????‍♀️????????

????

You know I carry a torch for you.

[fangless]

Just now, bluesofa said:

You know I carry a torch for you.

What an Olympic response!

 

PS;  I edited my post just before your response!  

[roo860]

[fangless]

2 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

You know I carry a torch for you.

Do the cte; QGBL dyslexic gropers now about out alleged relationship?

[bluesofa]

1 minute ago, fangless said:

Do the cte; QGBL dyslexic gropers now about out alleged relationship?

 

huh?

I had one, but the leg fell off.

[fangless]

3 minutes ago, bluesofa said:

 

huh?

I had one, but the leg fell off.

Just pull the other one in that case!

 

 

PS; huh? = cte; QGBL = LBGQetc (going backwards or in reverse from the earlier post!)

[sanuk711]

[Disparate Dan]

1 hour ago, Peter Denis said:

Time for the Dyslexorcist!

 

I thought it was agreed we should not do dyslexic jokes any more. They're not nice and they're not furry.

[sanuk711]

[kickstart]

On 2/18/2021 at 2:53 PM, ravip said:

Or, girl runs in to the house and said to mum,"do girls come apart" mum thinks and said "why do you think that "girl said,"I just heard daddy say to our neighbour that  he screwed the a#se off they au-pair girl. 

[chickenslegs]

On 2/3/2021 at 11:14 PM, chickenslegs said:

 

You could try to make up for his disappointment by sending him this picture of two Great Tits ...

[bluesofa]

26 minutes ago, chickenslegs said:

This IS an instruction...

[ravip]

18 hours ago, fangless said:

A man was passing a pet shop when he saw a talking monkey advertised for sale. He was so impressed by its extensive vocabulary that he bought it on the spot.

That evening he took it to his local bar and bet everyone twenty dollars that the monkey could talk. Nine people accepted the challenge but despite its new owner’s coaxing and prompting, the monkey refused to say a word and the man had to pay up.

When he got it home, the man was puzzled to hear the monkey talking freely.

 

The next evening, the man returned to the bar and bet everyone thirty dollars that the monkey could talk. Again there were plenty of takers but, to the man’s fury, the monkey remained silent. After paying up, the man took the monkey outside.

‘I’m taking you back to the shop,’ he raged. ‘You’re a complete waste of money!’

 

 

‘Calm down,’ said the monkey. ‘Think of the odds we’ll get tomorrow.’

Monkey tricks

[ravip]

An Englishman is hiking in Scotland and he pauses to drink from a stream. A passing shepherd calls out "Dinnae drink frae that, it's all fulla coo <deleted> an <deleted>!"

The Englishman says to him in a cut-glass accent "I'm terribly sorry, my good fellow, would you very much mind repeating that in the Queen's English?" And the shepherd says "I'm terribly sorry sir, I was only asking if you would like to borrow this tin cup and get a proper drink?"

[fangless]

9 hours ago, bluesofa said:

This IS an instruction...

You big bully!

[ravip]

What's the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?
One snatches your watch...

[Hamus Yaigh]

Have you heard about the top secret bread makers club?

It’s on a knead to dough basis...

[Hamus Yaigh]

[Hamus Yaigh]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

[sanuk711]

Crazy what I've managed to do in the garden since lockdown

[sanuk711]