Worst Joke Ever 2024

[ballpoint]

1 minute ago, fangless said:

You can always count on them to win!

It all adds up.  They may divide opinion,. but the Chinese are good at multiplying, even when subtracted from their home country.

[ballpoint]

1 minute ago, fangless said:

I was wondering where did he hang his paint pot?

I'm more concerned with where he keeps his brushes.

[fangless]

Just now, ballpoint said:

It all adds up.  They may divide opinion,. but the Chinese are good at multiplying, even when subtracted from their home country.

Their native breed bears don't multiply much or have many off shoots but then you have been pandaring to them!

[fangless]

Just now, ballpoint said:

I'm more concerned with where he keeps his brushes.

That's obvious, he nose what to do with them if he is not *rsing about making bum strokes.

[ballpoint]

1 minute ago, fangless said:

Their native breed bears don't multiply much or have many off shoots but then you have been pandaring to them!

That bamboozles me.  It's not as black and white as that.

[fangless]

Just now, ballpoint said:

That bamboozles me.  It's not as black and white as that.

Pandamonium is about to break out if there is any more of this said confuse-us!

[tifino]

Bruce Lee

 

 

[Hamus Yaigh]

I've just got a job making plastic toy Draculas.

There are only two of us on the production line... So I have to make every second Count.

[Hamus Yaigh]

[Hamus Yaigh]

[Hamus Yaigh]

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

Pandamonium is about to break out if there is any more of this said confuse-us!

That bears repeating.  Especially during the Covid pandademic.

[WorriedNoodle]

[VBF]

On 5/27/2021 at 11:57 AM, fangless said:

Just loafing around as usual seeing what plain crumbs of comfort you can collect.  Still I hope it pans out well for you as I like seeing people using their loaf before they get too old, crusty and moldy and end up on the streets parading up and down with the old sandwich board over their shoulders.

 

 

PS; OK I'm toast, I'm out of here!

 

Yeah, Butter off!

[VBF]

On 5/28/2021 at 5:37 AM, ballpoint said:

I'm sorry to be negative, but I can't remain static at my computer all day.  Got to charge off and fix the shock absorbers on my wife's VoltsWagon, or I'll be met with resistance when I ask her for my lunch.  She's even threatening to lock me in my own ohm if I don't do it.  Hopefully it's just a phase she's going through, or I'll be grounded.

Can't you resist er? 

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[roo860]

[roo860]

[Daffy D]

7 minutes ago, roo860 said:

Should have tried "I'll be watching you"

????

[VBF]

57 minutes ago, Daffy D said:

Should have tried "I'll be watching you"

????

If you do Please Don't Stand So close To Me. ????

[tomazbodner]

2 hours ago, VBF said:

If you do Please Don't Stand So close To Me. ????

Where did you find that? Message in a bottle?

Seems Demolition man turned him into King of pain with Every breath he took...

[tomazbodner]

[tomazbodner]

[Khawphod]

Irish Dating

 

 

[roo860]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

The local Catholic priest rang up his opposite number in the Church of England asking him for a favour.

"I'm supposed to hear confessions in half an hour, but something unexpected has come up and I have to be the other side of the diocese by two o'clock. Will you take over from me here?" asked the priest.

"What? But I've never done it before."

"It's quite straightforward," said the priest. "Sit in with me for half an hour before I go and you'll soon get the hang of it."

 

So the vicar agrees and is soon hidden away within earshot of the confessional.

The first person to enter is a woman.

"Father, I have sinned."
"What have you done, my child?"
"I have been unfaithful."
"How many times have you been unfaithful?"
"Four times, Father, and I am truly sorry."
"Very well. Put £2 in the box and say ten Hail Marys and you'll be absolved."

 

Not long after another woman comes in.
"Father, I have sinned."
"What have you done, my child?"
"I have slept with a married man."
"How many times?"
"Twice."
"Then put £1 in the box, say five Hail Marys and you'll be absolved."

 

Moments later, the priest whispered to the vicar. "You see how it works? Take over from me now, I have to go."

So the vicar seated himself comfortably in the confessional and immediately a woman sat down on the other side.
"Father, I have sinned," she said.
"What have you done, my child?"
"I have committed adultery."
"How many times?"
"Oh! Only once, Father."
"Well, you'd better go back and do it again."
"What! You want me to do it again?"

 

"Yes, it's two for £1."