Worst Joke Ever 2024

[fangless]

32 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A magician broke up with his girlfriend because he found someone else's coin behind her ear.

Was it nothing to do with the majic disappearing between them?

[fangless]

34 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I got beaten up this morning in a lift. A woman got in wearing a low cut top with a magnificent set of breasts spilling out. I couldn’t help staring.
It all kicked off when she said “Will you press one please?” So I did. Can’t remember much after that.

That is one uplifting experience you can feel a right t!t about!

[roo860]

[fangless]

35 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I got ripped off yesterday, I bought an old Elvis record from the market “Wooden Leg”
I said to the stall owner, “ I thought he sang Wooden Heart?”
He said... “This is a pirate version”

ARGH, did you get hooked up on it or was it just a rum do or a patch on the original?

[fangless]

39 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

I wonder if the Vampires ever reflect on that thought or have they seen through it all before!

[roo860]

[fangless]

45 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

While I was working in a chocolate factory one of the team fell into a vat of chocolate.
Someone started to climb into the vat to save their colleague.
I told him "Billy don't be an Aero"

Don't they pay a bounty for rescuing people or do they just fudge it!

[fangless]

54 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?

No provided you don't walk under the ladder while avoiding walking on the cracks in the pavement!

[fangless]

58 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

Just seen the BBC news headlines. Apparently the police are holding three men over a fire in West London.
Bit harsh, I wonder what they've done?

Maybe they were squeeling on each other but either way I suppose ther'e toast now!

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

Was it nothing to do with the majic disappearing between them?

To be fair, ever since the nasty accident, she was only his half girlfriend.

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

Would a telegram delivered by post chaise be OK?

I refer you to my previous Morse code and semaphore post.

(And no, a semaphore post isn't what holds up a semaphore flag).

[ballpoint]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

That is one uplifting experience you can feel a right t!t about!

I think you've milked that joke as far as it will go.

[roo860]

[ballpoint]

54 minutes ago, fangless said:

Don't they pay a bounty for rescuing people or do they just fudge it!

They didn't pay a thing, just snickered. Bunch of flakes.

[roo860]

[roo860]

[ravip]

A young blonde is in a Cessna 172 light airplane when the pilot has a heart attack and dies. 

The frantic young blonde calls out a May Day.   

“My pilot has had a heart attack and is dead and I don't know  how to fly."  

She hears a voice over the radio  saying:  
"This is Air Traffic Control and I hear you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the  ground.

 

 Everything will be fine!  What is your height and position?" 

The blonde says,  "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat."
(After a long pause)

"O.K." says the voice on the radio…
"Now, repeat after me."
"Our Father Who art in Heaven…"

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

I think you've milked that joke as far as it will go.

OK But please show the milk of human kindness and don't go and all sour on us now!

 

Edited November 4, 2021 by fangless

[fangless]

2 hours ago, ballpoint said:

They didn't pay a thing, just snickered. Bunch of flakes.

Typical! Just no quality down that street.

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fasteddie]