Worst Joke Ever 2025

[DezLez]

7 minutes ago, overherebc said:

She doesn't!  She probably would just want the action!  He on the other hand?

[DezLez]

1 hour ago, Yellowtail said:

Are they people that really think this is funny? 

You do realize that this forum is "Worst Joke Ever"!

You may vote for it as such.

I think that many of us see it just as a very apt comment on the appalling situation/act!

[VocalNeal]

1 hour ago, Zyxel said:

Or the funeral palour

[overherebc]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[ravip]

[Yellowtail]

1 hour ago, DezLez said:

You do realize that this forum is "Worst Joke Ever"!

You may vote for it as such.

I think that many of us see it just as a very apt comment on the appalling situation/act!

Yes, but I assumed making jokes about news stories of so many children being murdered families ruined would be inappropriate, even by people that hate the county it happens in, my bad, carry on.

 

[VocalNeal]

38 minutes ago, ravip said:

 

[overherebc]

[overherebc]

[overherebc]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[Zyxel]

[Zyxel]

[dcsw53]

[dcsw53]

[ballpoint]

A retired older couple return to a Jaguar dealership where the salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and tight sweater.
"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the £35,000 asking price", said the older man. "Yet I just heard you closed the deal for £29,000 to the lovely young lady there.  You insisted there could was no way you could discount this model."
"Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash and, just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.
Just then the young woman approached the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.
"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get that <deleted> to lower the price. See you later, Dad."

[ballpoint]

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. “Fred,” the man replies.

“Fred what?” the officer asks.

“Just Fred,” the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket, but he still presses him for the last name.

The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. “Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?”

The biker replies, “It’s a long story, so stay with me.

I was born Fred Johnson.

I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school.

Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS.

Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD.

Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am just Fred.

[ballpoint]

A preacher is working on his sermon for Sunday morning. His wife asks what he will preach about. He said "waterskiing, and being a Christian."

Wife said "You don't have any business preaching about that. You've only tried it twice and couldn't get up." But he promised he could do it.
Sunday morning the wife was sick, so didn't attend church. The preacher, on the pulpit looking at the congregation, realized his wife was right, he shouldn't preach that sermon. So he ad libbed a sermon he had done before about sex and being a Christian. He got through the sermon with no problem.
Monday morning at the doctor's office the wife sees a church lady who said "You missed the finest sermon your husband ever preached!"

Wife shook her head and said "I don't understand. He's only tried twice.  He couldn't get up, and fell off both times."

The church lady fainted.

[ballpoint]

“Poor Old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink.

As they sipped their whiskys, the gentleman thought he’d humour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”

[ballpoint]

A Priest and a Rabbi were sitting next to each other on a plane. After a while, the Priest turned to the Rabbi and asked, “Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?”
The Rabbi responded, “Yes, that is still one of our laws.”
The Priest then asked, “Have you ever eaten pork?”
To which the Rabbi replied, “Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.”
The Priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later, the Rabbi spoke up and asked the Priest, “Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?”
The Priest replied, “Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith.”
The Rabbi then asked him, “Father, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?”
The Priest replied, “Yes, Rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith.”
The Rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking, for about five minutes.
Finally, the Rabbi said, “Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?”

[ballpoint]

"To be is to do." --Socrates

"To do is to be." --Spinoza

"Do be do be do." --Sinatra