Worst Joke Ever 2025

[fangless]

Paddy on the phone: “I have a complaint. Every time I make a sandwich, it’s always too dry.”
Guy on the other end: “Sir, that’s not what we do at the Mayo Clinic.”

 

[WorriedNoodle]

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[fangless]

[fangless]

A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with the wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.

Very Truly Yours,
Acme Costume Co

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note which says:

Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

Very Truly Yours,
Acme Costume Co

Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head. So again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next week he gets a small parcel and a note which reads:

Dear Sir,
Please find the enclosed bottle of treacle. Pour the treacle over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your rear end and go as a dunking apple.

[WorriedNoodle]

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[fangless]

Bulls and sex
-------------------------

My wife and I went to the County Agricultural Show and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said:

THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ..... Smiled and said, "He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week".

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said:

THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, "WOW~~That's more than twice a week! .......... You could learn a lot from him".

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said:

THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
"That's once a day .. You could REALLY learn something from this one".

 

 

 

I looked at her and said, "Go over and ask him if it was with the same cow".

 

 

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and the doctors say I should eventually make a full recovery.

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[tifino]

a 'could only happen in america' moment...   

 

(or India) 

 

 

[Rimmer]

A political statement trying to pass itself off as a joke has been removed

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[tifino]

 

Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed? 

 

 

 

[fangless]

3 minutes ago, tifino said:

 

Why is no one ever the right amount of whelmed? 

 

 

 

Maybe the use of too much, or too little, Port and starboard perhaps!

[tifino]

On The Other Hand...

 

 

 

 

[chickenslegs]

Anyone else take ice in their beer? ...