Worst Joke Ever 2025

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2 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

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Not another selfie!

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[fangless]

8 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

They should be finger licken good!

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10 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

I was going to weigh in with a heavy handed witticism but then I woke up!

[Zyxel]

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21 minutes ago, sanuk711 said:

A bit like this joke thread.

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Father Murphy walks into a pub and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."
The priest said; "Then stand over there against the wall."
Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
Father Murphy then walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?
O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father.
The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were trying to get a group booking to go now."

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A farmer had a wife who nagged him endlessly. From morning till night she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any peace was when he was out plowing with his old mule.
One day, out in the fields, his wife brought him lunch as usual & began nagging him again.
Complain, nag, complain, nag - it just went on and on.
Suddenly, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet, catching her on the back of the head, killing her stone dead.
At the funeral several days later, the Vicar noticed something odd.
When a female mourner approached the farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a male mourner approached, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
After the funeral, the Vicar asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with the men.
The farmer said, 'Well, the women came up and said something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.'
'And what about the men?' the minister asked.
'They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.'.

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I got a tattoo on my calf yesterday. I'm getting the cow done next week.

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I watched a beauty contest in Swansea while I was on holiday.
The girl who won had 36 double D's.
Even by Welsh standards, that's a long surname.

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Hedgehogs.............

why don't they just share the hedge?

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Geordie goes with a prostitute while on the p*ss in Blackpool. Drops his pants, gets his thing out and the lass says: "By eck! That's a gud un!"

Geordie says: "What's a 'gud un'?"
She replies:"It means a big one."
She drops her knickers and Geordie says: "why eye! That's a canny un!"

She says: "What's a 'canny un'?"

Geordie replies: "A ******* big valley that cowboys ride through!"

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A recent study by a well known men's magazine found that 43% of women had used vibrators.
The other 57% had new ones

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Yesterday I visited the birthplace of the man who invented the Toothbrush.
I didn't see any plaque.

[VocalNeal]

1 hour ago, fangless said:

Chat-up Line:-  • Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? 
 

The one my mate used was "Don't I know you? No. "Well I do now.

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“A thing a lot of people don’t know about me: I’m incredibly organised. For example, if I make a tea, I don’t make one cup of tea – I make a big batch of tea. I’ll have a cup of tea and then I’ll freeze the rest of it and then when I want to have a cup of tea, I’ll just break off a bit of frozen tea, put it in a pan and 25 minutes later I’ve got a cup of tea without all the hassle".

RIP Sean Lock

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[WorriedNoodle]

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