Worst Joke Ever 2025

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[WorriedNoodle]

[fangless]

22 minutes ago, WorriedNoodle said:

Up your street I assume although I imagine it was a bit of a dead end job  but at least the turn round was quick and easy with no road for mistakes.

[ballpoint]

If you lose your scapegoat,
you have no one to blame but yourself.

[ballpoint]

Another Christmas present for the wife sorted. A second hand artificial leg.
Nice stocking filler.

[ballpoint]

*** Advice needed ***
My kids keep finding the Christmas presents I have hidden around the house.

Someone suggested I put them up in the loft, so I did and last night I literally had no sleep. All I could hear was them crying and moaning about spiders, the dark and wanting to be let back down.
Any other suggestions please?

[ballpoint]

My wife woke up with a big grin this morning.

I love those magic markers.

[ballpoint]

If I had a pound for every time I didn't finish a point that I was making

[ballpoint]

Got my wife a wombat for Christmas
Don't know where she's going to play wom though.

[ballpoint]

Thieves have stolen 20 crates of Red Bull from my local corner shop today.
How do they sleep at night ?

[ballpoint]

The secret to originality is to never reveal your source.
My dad told me that.

[ballpoint]

[ballpoint]

I took my wife out last night.

The gunsmith's done a remarkable job on those sights.

[ballpoint]

It’s a lovely crisp morning.
I’ve had three packets already.

[fangless]

3 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

*** Advice needed ***
My kids keep finding the Christmas presents I have hidden around the house.

Someone suggested I put them up in the loft, so I did and last night I literally had no sleep. All I could hear was them crying and moaning about spiders, the dark and wanting to be let back down.
Any other suggestions please?

Insulate the loft with sound proofing material!

[ballpoint]

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink.
I'm now in hospital waiting to be seen.

[ballpoint]

What did the Croydon mother name her 4 kids ?
Jamal, Jamal, Jamal, and Jamal
How does she tell them apart ?
Their last names

[fangless]

10 minutes ago, ballpoint said:

A second hand artificial leg.

Would it not be better with a foot on the bottom of the leg rather than a hand and if she does need a second hand it might be better to put on the end of her arm instead!

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

[fangless]

What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
He  doesn't know, he hasn't opened it yet
 

[fangless]

Christmas has been a bit repetitive...
so I got a different type of tree just to spruce it up a bit
 

[Zyxel]

[fangless]

What does the Pope and a Christmas tree have in common?
The balls are just for decoration