On his first day on the job, the trainee dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:

“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”

The voice from the other side responded:

“You fool, you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you have any idea who you’re talking to?”

“No,” replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Director of the company, idiot!”

The trainee shouted back: “And do you have any ........... idea who you are talking to, <deleted>”

“No!!!!” replied the Managing Director indignantly.

“Thank God!” and slammed down the phone.

18 hours ago, ravip said:

Pedant alert.

That's not a solar panel, it's a solar water heater.  The water runs down the sloping bit and is heated by the sun.  No electricity is involved.  In the middle of summer it may well be prudent to shade it in order to prevent boiling yourself in the shower.

 

 

Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, 
"Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"

She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"

While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked . . . "Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe . . .
why don't you give ol' George here your best last kiss?"

So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that . . .
and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.

After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That's a real talent you're wasting there, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

 

It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

39 minutes ago, ravip said:

Only cute ones i hope.