I saw this store in the Mall of Arabia in Cairo ...

 

Apparently Stella Egyptian lager is so strong that one should not attempt to sing karaoke or drive after consuming.

 

Paddy buys a digital watch...

His wife asks him what time it is... he's quiet...

She asks him again.... still quiet...

She shouts at him for the 3rd time, Paddy explodes: I have no damn idea! You go and divide 14:56 !!

Must be a very old car.

I know history has a way of repeating itself, but this Monday thing has got to stop.

A truck loaded with Vicks vapour rub has just overturned on the motorway.
Police have said there will be no congestion for eight hours.

I got a phone call from a chap, saying that he would replace my old boiler for free.
After a lot of consideration, I decided to keep the one I’ve got.
She’s not a bad cook, and keeps the house pretty tidy.

Thieves have stolen 24 cases of Red Bull.
How do these people sleep at night?

I saw a man with a trolley full of horseshoes and rabbits' feet earlier, trying to get it up a hill.
I thought, "He's pushing his luck."