You Know You've Been In Thailand Too Long When...

[toptuan]

As I finish up my fourth year in Thailand, and as I look forward to my first trip back to the USA in three years, I'm starting to notice a few changes about myself...the good, the bad, and the ugly....here it is, a mix of impressions ranging from the light-hearted to the serious.

Remember, I live upcountry (Isaan), so every Bangkokian may not necessarily identify with all of this post. I invite other posters to add their own impressions, as well.

You know you've been in Thailand too long when...

* You watch an American movie on TV, and the Americans appear to be driving on the wrong side of the road.

* You ask for extra chili peppers on top of your stir-fry.

* Hot noodles for breakfast seems normal. So does BBQ'd chicken.

* You don't feel like you've really eaten unless you've had some rice on your plate.

* Lizards on the wall of your bedroom don't startle you any more.

* You use something as small as a credit card to shield your face from the sun when walking outside.

* You only consider it a "hot" day when the temperature tops 100 Farenheit. Anything less is "normal."

* When hearing a lie seems an everyday normal occurance with Thai friends and acquaintances:

Quote from another ThaiVisa thread:

"I think you've got a good understanding of the culture-wide view towards truth in Thailand. Truth does not exist. There is no objective reality that people compare words to. The only thing that exists is what is said. "Saving face" is the idea that appearances are what is important - what people think of you is much more important than what you are. Lies are like makeup, if they make a person appear more pretty, that person will use them. They don't have the feeling that the lies make them ugly."

* "Hey YOU!" yelled at you by a Thai doesn't offend you anymore.

* You don't like policemen. (You and 80 million other Thais).

* At a fancy five-star buffet at the top of a skyscraper in Bangkok, a western tourist totally flips out when she sees an insect on the watermelon at the dessert table. You can't stifle a laugh while thinking "Upcountry, they pick it off and pop it in their mouths, and consider it a bonus."

* You think that "fat" looks successful, and "thin" looks poor, disadvantaged and from the boondocks.

* You think that irony is funnier than an open joke.

* A bus interior completely decorated in orange, purple and bright pink doesn't make you go blind.

* Using an outdoor urinal at a gas station, without any semblance of privacy doesn't phase you. My favorite stop overlooks a whole village and rice fields. Best view from a urinal in the entire province.

* Going without household water or electricity for a day or two every month is "normal."

*Last-minute planning by others, resulting in last-minute screw-ups doesn't raise the blood pressure any more.

Edited February 19, 2007 by toptuan

[BigSnake]

You eat Sticky Rice and have a coke for breakfast and feel FULL all day long.

[Jeffery Stanthorpe]

when you want jump off the 12th floor of your condo building

[OneeyedJohn]

You don't take avoiding action or brake when dogs or chickens cross

the path of your Pick-up.

[Robski]

When the threads on ThaiVisa get repeated every few weeks.

We had this one already and it was very amusing.

My favorite and I cant remember who said it was;

'When your dog lives somewhere up the street'

Top quality.

[cdnvic]

You know you've been on Thaivisa too long when you just manually type in the code for all your smilys and formatting because you know them in your sleep by now. :D

[h90]

First of all a warning...

What happend to me, back in europe, I saw a car comming steped down on the street so I can directly pass after it (considering it keeps the same speed). Instead the man full brake, as he has to let me go over the zebra stripes. We both had a white face without blood....pretty strange to pass streets in europe, now.....

As I finish up my fourth year in Thailand, and as I look forward to my first trip back to the USA in three years, I'm starting to notice a few changes about myself...the good, the bad, and the ugly....here it is, a mix of impressions ranging from the light-hearted to the serious.

Remember, I live upcountry (Isaan), so every Bangkokian may not necessarily identify with all of this post. I invite other posters to add their own impressions, as well.

My wife is deep south that changes some things, everything without comment is automatic the same for me

You know you've been in Thailand too long when...

* You watch an American movie on TV, and the Americans appear to be driving on the wrong side of the road.

back in europe I always tried to enter the car on the wrong side

* You ask for extra chili peppers on top of your stir-fry.

* Hot noodles for breakfast seems normal. So does BBQ'd chicken.

* You don't feel like you've really eaten unless you've had some rice on your plate.

not having that, I cook a lot myself

* Lizards on the wall of your bedroom don't startle you any more.

* You use something as small as a credit card to shield your face from the sun when walking outside.

no I still love the sun

* You only consider it a "hot" day when the temperature tops 100 Farenheit. Anything less is "normal."

considering 27 degree Celcius in my office as cool

* When hearing a lie seems an everyday normal occurance with Thai friends and acquaintances:

Quote from another ThaiVisa thread:

"I think you've got a good understanding of the culture-wide view towards truth in Thailand. Truth does not exist. There is no objective reality that people compare words to. The only thing that exists is what is said. "Saving face" is the idea that appearances are what is important - what people think of you is much more important than what you are. Lies are like makeup, if they make a person appear more pretty, that person will use them. They don't have the feeling that the lies make them ugly."

I don't have that experiences, most here are southis, they are loud, speak dialect but lie less

* "Hey YOU!" yelled at you by a Thai doesn't offend you anymore.

don't hear that but "farang farang"

* You don't like policemen. (You and 80 million other Thais).

didn't like them before I came

* At a fancy five-star buffet at the top of a skyscraper in Bangkok, a western tourist totally flips out when she sees an insect on the watermelon at the dessert table. You can't stifle a laugh while thinking "Upcountry, they pick it off and pop it in their mouths, and consider it a bonus."

I am already on the next step, just a tired smile....normal.....

* You think that "fat" looks successful, and "thin" looks poor, disadvantaged and from the boondocks.

no I don't got that

* You think that irony is funnier than an open joke.

actually the thais don't understand austrian humor which is basically only sarcastic

* A bus interior completely decorated in orange, purple and bright pink doesn't make you go blind.

I start already to think that this is nice

* Using an outdoor urinal at a gas station, without any semblance of privacy doesn't phase you. My favorite stop overlooks a whole village and rice fields. Best view from a urinal in the entire province.

* Going without household water or electricity for a day or two every month is "normal."

*Last-minute planning by others, resulting in last-minute screw-ups doesn't raise the blood pressure any more.

I always made nice planings with exact times/locations, well I gave up....Plane for what if you can't hold the time by +/- 1day and the location at +/-200 km

[toptuan]

*Last-minute planning by others, resulting in last-minute screw-ups doesn't raise the blood pressure any more.

I always made nice planings with exact times/locations, well I gave up....Plane for what if you can't hold the time by +/- 1day and the location at +/-200 km

Yeah, before I moved here, I was a stressed-out perfectionist. I remember taking a 12-day European vacation for which I created a schedule that was blocked off in 15-minute increments. It served me well in the business in which I was active (exporting: multitudes of deadlines, requiring a zero tolerance for errors), but it began to damage my health.

Now I've perfected the "mai pen rai," response to probably too many things! Even so, my Thai friends still call me an "over-achiever." But for me, I know I'm living with 90% less stress, here. That's what counts.

Edited February 19, 2007 by toptuan

[soundman]

becoming too thai:

- when driving the car you don't give a rats about anyone driving next to you or behind you

- when you get to Seven, just walking to the front of the Q and placing your order for smokes

- when the cop pulls you over, giving money before your liscense

- when sitting in a restaurant, just throwing your ciggarette butt on the floor

- when in the airport, doing Duty free shopping after the "last boarding" call

- giving a tip of 20B after eating a thousand

- enjoy taking your mates (7 day football tourers) to the daily market & watching them turn green when you tell them thats where the food in the restuarant last night came from.

Just a few examples,

Soundman.

[qwertz]

I think, when you start looking for a cheap deal on rhinoplasty.

[LivinLOS]

When the footprints on the toilet seat are your own !!

[soundman]

When the footprints on the toilet seat are your own !!

Hahahaha

The best morning laugh I've had in ages...

Soundman.

[Ijustwannateach]

When guys you met as newbies are celebrating their own milestones! Congrats, Toptuan... I was mean to you when you first came online here, but I'm glad I was wrong about you. Here's to 1000 more!

[kmart]

When walking anywhere is simply not an option. (Unless your arse is covered in designer lycra, you are wearing expensive trainers, and you are using the treadmill in your exclusive fitness centre / spa.)

[toptuan]

When guys you met as newbies are celebrating their own milestones! Congrats, Toptuan... I was mean to you when you first came online here, but I'm glad I was wrong about you. Here's to 1000 more!

Yeah, I'm living proof that even TROLLS can be born-again!