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Married to Thai girl, found out she's cheating while USA green card/visa is in process


mikehongpark

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7 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

You are too old. You are even to old for a mid 30 Thai woman.

Golly  gee,  Ill  let  my Wife  know, she was 29 I was 42  at the time....now Im 103 and she still  looks  the same.........not that Ive had vision for the last 10 years and the hearings  gone and what with the wooden leg n all...ah well....

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2 hours ago, Baerboxer said:

 

Off topic but buddhism also supports the idea of faithfulness. 

yeah whilst taking the path of least resistance.....all makes  sense eh!

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Cheating usually is a sign of:

 

1. Character: Integrity, commitment, honesty vs flip flopping, always lookin for something better, dishonesty...

 

2. True feelings: If your really in love and happy you just don't do it no matter the temptation (as was in your case).

 

So no matter the excuses, the feelings or the wishes to have children etc you probably have to ask yourself what kind of person cheats on others and will the relationship truly last.  The hardest decision is usually the best.

 

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Okay. I let her go. Thanks all. I followed my head and not my heart or dreams in my head.
Need to call my friends and family tomorrow morning.
dude.... I'm in a mess now simply because i failed or refused to listen to advise from my friends. once she has cheated... she will do it again. as simple as that. now... there are some good ones... but they are rare as a diamond.

cut it lose and move on... you wont regret it. dont get trapped in dreams of nice happy family. it almost always never ends with happy ending

Sent from my SM-N960F using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

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34 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Mike, I read all of both threads.   The first thread got off course. I swear if I met the guy who quoted that chat text  log I would toss my beer in his face. 

 

Don't take any offense from all the haters.  They don't read all or have very poor comprehension.   But you did leave out the married part in the first thread.  I am assuming you are officially married in the eyes of USA since your using this for the green card.  I think you need to worry about your assets in USA.   I'm not sure how the green card works.  Can you stop it ? Or is it up to her to get?  Forget the booze 20 bottles at 2000 baht is nothing .  

You were  stupid to shower her with gifts and travels you now regret.  Giving parents  15,000 is crazy.  You can support a mia noi fir not much more.   You need to go to Thailand as a  single stud and claim your place.  You won't believe the choices you will have.   I think 20 years younger is ok and I've heard about 30 years working until the American man died leaving a well off widow.  Forget about rushing into kids.  You have time.  

All these guys who think once trust is lost it's over are wrong.  But you were  married.   If you had said this in first thread you would have had more haters on her.  the talk about leaving you after she gets your money is the deal breaker for me. 

You met a Thai in America that is much different than a Thai woman in Thailand.   

I'm glad you have decided to end the relationship.   Your not the only story i have read about in my 3 years doing careful research via massive reading and many visits to Thailand.    

My rule list I have learned. 

Don't spend more than you can loose. 

Trust but verify

If it good today it will be better tomorrow so don't rush into things, time is on man's side. 

Stay worth more alive than dead

Keep finances private. 

Don't flaunt money

Support is part if love for a Thai woman

Don't bring a Thai woman to the USA but I may break this rule as Thailand seems to less attractive  as each month passes.

Do you know of any country where your rules do not apply (except PI, Russia and the ME as everyone wants to leave)? 

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3 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Okay. I let her go. Thanks all. I followed my head and not my heart or dreams in my head.

Need to call my friends and family tomorrow morning.

Well  done, plenty more out there, just be careful next time.

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4 minutes ago, mikehongpark said:

What's wrong with you, thinking that somehow a person looking for help/advice is BSing.

Don't listen to anyone who hates on you.

 

The reality is that you now have made a  decision to end the marriage. You need competent legal advice from a divorce attorney as your situation is complicated by the fact your wife is now resident in Thailand bur if legally married you need to protect your assets.

Once she realizes that you are really ending this relationship- she will do everything in her power to make you pay.  Keep all records of phone conversations and tape them if possible- 

Did she explain the Moscow trip and admit that Zen was there? If so, possible proof of infidelity.

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At the end of the day, if you don't finish with her and do forgive her for the infidelity, she’ll respect you even less than she does now and your life with her will be that of a suspicious, insecure and disrespected old husband/financer.

Respect yourself, dump her, enjoy yourself and buy a motorbike or something.

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8 hours ago, OneMoreFarang said:

I agree, she is definitely too old. He should have picked an innocent 18 year old girl without kid.

 

i started reading then it got blah blah blah same old story so i skimmed to find the age part and surprise surprise 48 and 26, how many 26 years olds in his own country would be interested in him?

 

he's basically paying for her affection so why not pay for someone who can at least  keep their clothes on when with another male?

 

at least if it all goes wrong he cant complain because all the warning signs are clear for all to see, but some guys dont mind this situation so, as many have said, up to him

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3 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Okay. I let her go. Thanks all. I followed my head and not my heart or dreams in my head.

Need to call my friends and family tomorrow morning.

i do hope you do let her go and move on. i see many post here and have herd many men talk the talk here but when it comes to walk the walk most men are not strong enough to dump their girl, dont be one of them dump her in time you will know you dont the right thing and you can be proud of yourself when you look yourself in the mirror. good luck time is a healer.

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23 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Did you mean PLONKER?😜

I reckon that if you are on a good thing you should stick to it and this poster is sure as hell on a good thing..as witness his two separate topics..

 

It's a sort of internet Gary Larsen..."he was an old dog and this was new trick"😂

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2 minutes ago, samsensam said:

 

i started reading then it got blah blah blah same old story so i skimmed to find the age part and surprise surprise 48 and 26, how many 26 years olds in his own country would be interested in him?

 

he's basically paying for her affection so why not pay for someone who can at least  keep their clothes on when with another male?

 

but some guys dont mind this situation so, as many have said, up to him

You know how many farang in Thailand happily pay for the services of women who daily take their clothes off for other men, go even further to strongly advise 'renting' as the prime solution to handling Thai women? Op just took out a longer term option 😄

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I do not get the excitement and the need to bash a guy for being in this situation.

 

Half of posters here married to someone half if not third of their age, which of course they would never admit, makes them feel superior

 

Vast majority are financially supporting their so called "wives" and women married them just for that, which of course again they would not admit.

 

Then of course the cheating part, considering its something as high as 50-60% according to stats not too long ago, chances are half of the posters here married to a cheating spouse.

 

Yet, all out in force to make fun of a guy and put him down.

 

You sad and pathetic lot sure have strange ideas

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What's the arrangement? How much are you paying?
 
 


How much am I paying? For what? You posting a photo of you and your wife? I’ll put up a thousand baht.

Did you want to tell the world you don’t give your wife any money, and why that is the right thing to do? By all means.


* * *
Don’t tell me why it can’t be done; show me how it can - Jim Wright
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10 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

Sorry, but the other thread was to get help in translating Thai language, and with the help of the members I have confirmed that she has cheated to her admission.  I started this new thread for advice as this is a very important decision.

And as I recall from the other thread you got LOADS of advice, most of which confirmed that you should steer clear from this impending disaster, train-wreck, stupid idea etc, etc.............

 

As for thinking that having a child will repair/cement a fragile marriage; what planet are you from?

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Hi Mike

very sorry your problem. All quite common with young Thai Ladies. 

Some thing you should think about is getting the green card and living in the States. She will have a very good paying job as an engineer. She will be meeting lots of guys much younger than you. The temptation will be big to going out on business in her job.

if you were intending to live in Thailand yes give her a chance but not living in USA. 

Walk away Mike it will hurt more the second time around.

good luck.

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13 minutes ago, BestB said:

I do not get the excitement and the need to bash a guy for being in this situation.

 

Half of posters here married to someone half if not third of their age, which of course they would never admit, makes them feel superior

 

Vast majority are financially supporting their so called "wives" and women married them just for that, which of course again they would not admit.

 

Then of course the cheating part, considering its something as high as 50-60% according to stats not too long ago, chances are half of the posters here married to a cheating spouse.

 

Yet, all out in force to make fun of a guy and put him down.

 

You sad and pathetic lot sure have strange ideas

 

not everyone is putting him down, but to be honest posting the same old story, again, what does he expect?

 

 

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1 minute ago, SuperTed said:

 


How much am I paying? For what? You posting a photo of you and your wife? I’ll put up a thousand baht.

Did you want to tell the world you don’t give your wife any money, and why that is the right thing to do? By all means.


* * *
Don’t tell me why it can’t be done; show me how it can - Jim Wright

 

 

Ok, so you are paying for this arrangement. 

 

Stop paying and see if the age difference is not an issue. Thing is you said it's not an issue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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37 minutes ago, Elkski said:

Mike, I read all of both threads.   The first thread got off course. I swear if I met the guy who quoted that chat text  log I would toss my beer in his face. 

 

Don't take any offense from all the haters.  They don't read all or have very poor comprehension.   But you did leave out the married part in the first thread.  I am assuming you are officially married in the eyes of USA since your using this for the green card.  I think you need to worry about your assets in USA.   I'm not sure how the green card works.  Can you stop it ? Or is it up to her to get?  Forget the booze 20 bottles at 2000 baht is nothing .  

You were  stupid to shower her with gifts and travels you now regret.  Giving parents  15,000 is crazy.  You can support a mia noi fir not much more.   You need to go to Thailand as a  single stud and claim your place.  You won't believe the choices you will have.   I think 20 years younger is ok and I've heard about 30 years working until the American man died leaving a well off widow.  Forget about rushing into kids.  You have time.  

All these guys who think once trust is lost it's over are wrong.  But you were  married.   If you had said this in first thread you would have had more haters on her.  the talk about leaving you after she gets your money is the deal breaker for me. 

You met a Thai in America that is much different than a Thai woman in Thailand.   

I'm glad you have decided to end the relationship.   Your not the only story i have read about in my 3 years doing careful research via massive reading and many visits to Thailand.    

My rule list I have learned. 

Don't spend more than you can loose. 

Trust but verify

If it good today it will be better tomorrow so don't rush into things, time is on man's side. 

Stay worth more alive than dead

Keep finances private. 

Don't flaunt money

Support is part if love for a Thai woman

Don't bring a Thai woman to the USA but I may break this rule as Thailand seems to less attractive  as each month passes. 

 

 

Thank you, I have copied and pasted your message so I can take some of your points as a reminder. 🙂 Need to change myself a little on being too nice (sucker) to be taken advantage of.

For the green card process, just got approval from the National Visa processing Center to proceed but if I don't proceed then it's invalid by April 2019. She can proceed but if she does, I will get setup for an interview which I won't attend.

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6 minutes ago, samsensam said:

 

not everyone is putting him down, but to be honest posting the same old story, again, what does he expect?

 

 

Clearly he is a newbie , what he expected was advise instead of being made fun of . More pathetically by those who are married to hookers from the bars. At least his is educated and cheating , not selling her ass for extra $30.

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1 minute ago, BestB said:

More pathetically by those who are married to hookers from the bars.

Nothing wrong with being married to a girl from the bar.

I'm betting they get more and better sex than the guys who married the educated hi-so Buddhist virgins.

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