Married to Thai girl, found out she's cheating while USA green card/visa is in process

[KKr]

15 hours ago, mikehongpark said:

* Relationship will be rocky for a while, at least until she gives me the gift of a child as the love for a child will change all mindsets.

for sure: 
the mindset will change from being viewed as a provider to that of being a life insurance policy cum pension fund.

but hey, I am a cynic, everybody is entitled to his own kind of optimism, realistic or dreamed up.
(could not read all 16 pages, apologies if duplicated opinion)

[rvaviator]

you can forgive her if she stays in america only. She will cheat on you again if she stays in thailand.

Take her to US and be ready to loose 1/2 of what you own today - It’s is as certain as the earth goes around the sun ....

If she really did love you ... she would never ever in a million years have written what she did ... I did show your Word doc to my Thai GF ... she shook her head and said .... We are not all like that ... she bad woman ....


Sent from my iPad using Thailand Forum - Thaivisa mobile app

[lemonjelly]

She might refuse to divorce you... try and provide proof of her infidelity, record her admitting it on the phone or text messages etc.

[Mavideol]

26 minutes ago, rvaviator said:

you can forgive her if she stays in america only. She will cheat on you again if she stays in thailand.

funny very funny because in america she will not make herself available to man.... a cheater always be a cheater

[BTB1977]

Quote

 

Why do I always read these long drawn out stories and think bullsh#t. Just one a couple of days ago same sh#t. I call B.S on this one. 30 people booked on flights . How stupid does he think we are?

[totally thaied up]

11 minutes ago, BTB1977 said:

Why do I always read these long drawn out stories and think bullsh#t. Just one a couple of days ago same sh#t. I call B.S on this one. 30 people booked on flights . How stupid does he think we are?

A friend of mine had a Wedding last year in Phuket - 20+ of his friends went so it is certainly doable. A few things do not make sense I will say but the truth being is we cannot know. 

[Elkski]

I believe this story.   So op  has more friends than me and most of us.  He seems well off so maybe it's not that big of a deal for 30 of his friends to take a 3-4 k USD week trip to Thailand.   OP was just requesting translation of his wife's text at first.  But that other thread took a TV normal route to the gutter.   I read it all and either the Thai language sucks so bad as a communication tool or many of you gents and your SO don't understand Thai slang like you brag about.  Because I didn't get a clear feeling on that other thread if Zen was ladyboy, friend or lover.  So I see why OP decided to post another thread and clear up some of the facts.    For those of you don't like to read or can't comprehend or don't have the time to read all of these posts the relevant facts are:

OP met this woman 4 years ago in the US when she was getting her advanced degree. 

they have been dating for four years in a long distance relationship and have traveled to many foreign countries and had a grand old time. 

He spent 150,000 USD in last 4 years.

Has 10-15 k USD  tied up in this wedding next month plus 20 bottles of Johnnie gold.  Sounds like some fun friends to party with.  

They got married 11 months ago in Thailand and I guess officially filed the paperwork so that he could get her a green card in USA and then move her to USA.  She is in final approval state for green card. 

He is 48-49 and she is 26. 

Next month they planned a big replay wedding for the  30 +American friends of his and family to come to Thailand to witness.  As it was only her family 11 months ago

his wife has traveled extensively enough to obtain 20 bottles of Johnnie Walker gold reserve duty free???  

He paid 1 million sin sod plus a lot of gold and promised her family for 400- 500 US dollars per month. 

recently he became suspicious when his wife went on a trip to Moscow and did not ever show pictures of her girlfriend that supposedly accompanied her to Moscow. 

He had access to her Facebook on his laptop so he snooped a little bit and found out she had a suspicious interaction with a man named Zen. 

he posted a couple days  ago asking for a translation of this long slang conversation.  Many TV posters couldn't even read the translation but told him what the hell he should do in life.  At this point like typical on Thai Visa this thread has degenerated into an argument about if you support the wife or not or if you should marry young or not and all kinds of other irrelevant bulshit. 

 

Currently the OP (to nice of a guy I'm home)  has said he has confronted her and she admitted to cheating and he has decided to dump her. 

She is going to be devastated to lose such an amazing cash cow. 

Do you imagine what you could buy for 40000 US dollars per year in Thailand??? OMG.

Her family is going to be pissed at her that she could not keep her pants on and their future is probably never going to have such a nice son-in-law.  Read generous.  OP was better than winning the lottery. 

 

the main thing that the  translation revealed to me was that she even told this other man that after she gets hooks in his money she will dump him.  

I could understand a fling or two while the man is away but this is her death sentence for me. 

This reveals she is in that segment of Thai society who thinks that farang are just ATMs.    

 

From my  research and travels in Thailand it has been revealed to me that it is very common for a foreigner to buy and build a big house and Thai wife cheats from this very house while he was gone  working to support their dream future and the town accepts this and talks about it  but don't tell the farang and I think this is a big secret  of Thailand and so they accept it and think she is victorious and doing Thailand a favor like a warrior.  In one day touring in a car with a woman and her daughter she pointed out at least two houses that were like this in front of her daughter so this is an acceptable thing that young Thai women learn as a way to have a rich American size house in Thailand.   

 

Like an accountant buddy  pointed out to me in my youth when it comes to women  you either pay for it or you pay for it !!

so all you guys who say you don't give your wife a damn baht are stupid lying fools.  

There are many beautiful young Thai women who are not this way and are looking for love and the Cinderella story. 

 

 

So to OP cut this one off now completly.  Come and meet at least 20 Thai women and learn what is available.  It is amazing.  Don't forget a  trip  to Vietnam. and you will be happy in 2 years I promise.   

[Skyking]

Anyone talking about having children needs to look at the global environment and the future due to the irresponsible attitude of the US Leadership. What future is there for children?

[chicowoodduck]

For the love of Buddha, give her the heave ho and save the worry later on in the relationship.....you will thank me sonner than later...????????

[BestB]

2 hours ago, BTB1977 said:

Why do I always read these long drawn out stories and think bullsh#t. Just one a couple of days ago same sh#t. I call B.S on this one. 30 people booked on flights . How stupid does he think we are?

Sorry to say but what kind of a looser do you have to be to consider 30 guests at your wedding as a lot?

 

average wedding is 100 -200 people where half are close and distant relatives alone.

[SheungWan]

4 hours ago, siamcrut said:

What movie?

 

bourne identity

[Mikeasq60]

Friend, dump her ASAP because she'll cheat again. A lesson learned.

[Elkski]

OP was playing by chivalrous American rules while his Thai girlfriend was playing by ty rules.  OP big mistake was he did not research his Quarry properly. 

He is stuck in current Western American man feminist controlled thinking instead of thinking like a 1960s man which Thailand still allows a man to do.  

 

There are many of you who think love is the last word.  and while I thought this was true when I was in my young 20s and we both had nothing and we're equals financially and educationally I do not think one should rely on only love when there is such a financial difference.  When a man has so much more financially to lose and there later in life I think relationships need to be based on a more economical  cost beneficial analysis then just blind love.  I think a man can easily fall in love with many women in fact I may be in love with two women at the same time right now.  Do I think I found the right one? I am evaluating the cost-benefit analysis and not in any hurry to make a decision and I may have to research more applicants. 

 

I keep thinking for spending $150,000 in courtship in  four years the OP could have caught some hot 44 year old  American <deleted>  is M I L F a ,4 letter word? who potentially has equal wealth to himself.  Granted not the young child giver. But if a man doesn't think about children until he is 45 then thinks a long distance relationship will turn into this wonderful family he has miscalculated.   

However I think OP can have kuds before 55 and it's not terrible.   

Who ever implied he will be half dead and 1 foot   in the grave at 75?  Just think how much better a father a man can be at 65 than 25. 

 

 

[onera1961]

My first question is why a 26 years old girl will fall in love with a 48 years old man? Is the man an artist, actor, writer, athletes, speakers, what is the attraction for the girl to marry a 48 years old man? 

If she has an engineering and advanced degree from the US, she can get a green card by her own. 

The mistake OP made is to spend 150K USD on his datings. May be he is big spender so he should not bring up the same again and again. 

This a becoming almost a no win situation for the OP. Man are more emotional than women. They have lost kingdoms for women's feeling, touch and warmth. Man never wins they can only be happy.

[cyberfarang]

Women who have cheated before are 3.5 times more likely to do it again, in comparison to those people who haven’t cheated.

 

https://www.thetalko.com/16-statistics-that-prove-why-women-cheat-more-than-men/

 

 

[Ducking and]

 

 

You should have found out by now, generally speaking Thai girls aged 26 cheat.  You might have found out by now that this one is xceptionally stupid, cheating at this time. Get out of it quick. You don't want  stupid mother of your children. When I was 56 I got a Thai girlfriend of 28. After two years she wanted my children. You are still young enough to have a good life with a Thai beauty but make sure she is not stupid. Quite a bit older than 26 would be better. Mid thirties and there's a good chance she will still be beautiful for another ten years or more, as a bonus, and more likely not to cheat on you.

 

 

 

[Elkski]

So a woman with an engineering degree can get a work permit in USA?   Maybe,  but it depends on if she has a  good career and a company wanting to get her a work visa.  Does this gal even work at a job besides gold digger? I'm sure she is a wonderful woman and actress as well.  We all must admit the poor  (Thailand ignorant) OP had no chance with a sexy, intelligent English speaking, Asian beauty who has access to social media  for gold digger tips and past exposure to USA.  

 

I do want to ask why so many people doubt that a 26 yr old Asian woman  can love a 48 yr old successful, nice man?  

Have you guys been to Thailand much?  Are you all over 75?  

How many 35-45 yr old Thai women had 45 yr old husbands dump them  and kids  to be with an admiring 18-20 year old?  How many Thai women's Father's are  20 years older than mother?    I think Thai women see part of love in maturity,  and financial support.  An older man is more caring at least in my case okus is like a lottery winning ticket with benefits to these Thai women.  Most Thai women I have met were not interested in moving to USA.  An average American nice guy in many cases cooks and cleans and does laundry and doesn't drink  or gamble's himself to death.  Even if a man strays some its nothing compared to a Thai man's butterfly ways. I'm  not Thai man bashing but I have not heard  about many   great Thai husbands.  Have you? 

 

PS.  At the urging of a Thai woman I recently inquired about my 85 year old father's sexual life. 

After he l laughed and told me his girlfriend heard that   question on speaker phone.  His  reply. "well we are parked and just started about to go into a   furneral service for a friend but  right after this  I plan to go home and take care of that business."   He did admit he uses a pill.  So 48-85 means a 26 yr old can be serviced until early 60's.   So stay healthy my friends.  Dad walk golfs 2-3 days a week.  And his 90 yr old GF still gets a kick too.

[OneEyedPie]

I'm pretty sure this is a BS thread.  

[Ulic]

As the girls say "up to you" but here is my two cents. I understand Thai girls not being faithful. Plenty have had promises made by foreign men concerning marriage and are then left at the altar. But you were actually married. Paid sinsod, and for some reason committed to sending her parents a considerable monthly stipend. She is the one who should be sending that out of her earned money. All that said.

1/ You can get your Scotch back. Just tell her you will sue her lover for having sex with her and herself for abandonment. You will settle for the Scotch.

2/ If you really must get married make sure you have an ironclad prenup. Now I know you are already married but it can be signed at any time. If she does not sign, don't proceed with the green card and immigration. Put your house in your parent's name or a sibling. In short, protect yourself.

3/ If kids are the priority, leave her in Thailand and knock her up here. Bringing her to the US is opening yourself up to a world of pain. 

 

I know that your decision is difficult only because the heart wants what the heart wants. Your brain tells you that you should get divorced in Thailand. Simple and quick.                                                           BTW. I am 60, never married and no kids. No problem for me. I can be totally self-indulgent.

[cyberfarang]

As far as I`m concerned if a girlfriend or wife cheats, then she`s spent. The opposite of Star Trek, I don`t want to go where several other guys have boldly been before.

 

If these cheating women are having unprotected sex with guys, and I`ve no doubts that if what they consider is an affair with a lover or lovers are not using protection, they are placing their husbands or boyfriends at great risk of passing on STDs, HIV and aids.

If I was in that situation, I`d definitely get myself tested.

 

If guys are willing to continue on with cheating wives or girlfriends, then they may just as well go with prostitutes because the risks of catching sexual diseases are almost the same. This is why cheaters are so bad, besides the infidelity and emotional trauma they create.

 

 

[RichardColeman]

So she cheated on you because of distance and arguments ? Imagine what she will do when she is surrounded by farang more here own age !  Dump it, she only confirmed it when you had proof, so happy to lie to you until then. 

[nontabury]

21 hours ago, HighPriority said:

Yep @ 48 he can pork her all night long but fast forward 10 years and he is struggling a bit... ????????

Why?

[flewis25200]

Move on.  There and many honest people in the world who treasure fidelity. 

[rumak]

22 hours ago, watgate said:

Lastly. as another poster stated, there are many woman in Thailand who would kill to be with a man of your credentials

 the wording of that sentence might have a little more truth to it than you intended

[Chicken George]

Ditch the bitch full stop.. 

You will never forget what she has done and if you get married she will treat you badly knowing you are weak.. Taking her back to the US is a masdive mistake. It will be reversed rolls she will be in the sweet shop and will do it again.. 

 

[rumak]

there's 50 ways to leave your lover..............just pick one of them

 

Maybe good start for another POST .    Asking which way TV members would choose

 

[mickyboy]

23 hours ago, phutoie2 said:

hmm, 23 years between myself and wife and together 15 yrs now, it is indeed a mystery.

Yours:

worried of Phu Toei.

20 years between me and my wife we live in the uk and never given her or her family a penny  she has given me about £20.000 and the house in my name but then again in thai talk she a Bhat millionaire many times over and her family wealthy why do these guys marry bar girls with nothing and give them all their money they work a life time for  love NO stupidity yes we still together 15 years and i look at some people and think cant you see right through it poor guy 46 she 26 ok  you can be 66 and her 46 that has good chance to work

[chiman]

Just go for it, have the kid, get what you want out of it and stop being so emotional 

[SuperTed]

 
It's ok. I have been on this forum for years and it's always the same nonsense. Guys in financial arrangements thinking it can't be any other way in Thailand. Guys in financial arrangements claiming your wife must be ugly if you're not paying for it.
 
All this nonsense while you can see western 60 year old invalids "dating" 20 year olds just because they pay them. It'd old. It's boring and in Thailand anyone can do it with 1000b to their name - even just for a day.
 
And why are you so interested how my wife looks like and why 1000b for a pic? Is that your daily rate?
 
 
 

And trolls trolling because it makes them feel better. Same old thing.

The question you need to ask yourself Jean-Picard is what do you feel bad about? Why do you need to lash out at others to make yourself feel better? Clearly, you are the troll here, right?

You are looking for someone to humiliate about their Thai relationship and finances; I am guessing that is what is bothering you in your own life?

If not, what is it that bothers you?

As for Thai women, non-Thai women, love and money, I have many thoughts, and have tried it many different ways. But that is not the topic of this forum - this forum is marriage and divorce, not love and money!

And who wants to share with a troll, anyway?


* * *
Don’t tell me why it can’t be done; show me how it can - Jim Wright

[marcusarelus]

12 hours ago, theguyfromanotherforum said:

 

It's ok. I have been on this forum for years and it's always the same nonsense. Guys in financial arrangements thinking it can't be any other way in Thailand. Guys in financial arrangements claiming your wife must be ugly if you're not paying for it.

 

All this nonsense while you can see western 60 year old invalids "dating" 20 year olds just because they pay them. It'd old. It's boring and in Thailand anyone can do it with 1000b to their name - even just for a day.

 

And why are you so interested how my wife looks like and why 1000b for a pic? Is that your daily rate?

I think they are being unfair to you.  How would you know what your wife looks like after all you live in a different country than she does.  How would you know what she looks like?